Here to Learn 101

Here to Learn 101

Life can be so confusing, we all know that. This is how I’m feeling right now. At times we feel that we are at a total and complete loss. Not knowing which way to turn. Whether we should look back or focus on only what is ahead. In times like these we shouldn’t deny the fact that we have someone in our life that is able and willing to help us through but, some of us don’t gravitate towards the help of others. Fear of them looking down at us or just getting tired of hearing it all of the time directs us to stay to ourselves only.

Do we need someone to help? We probably do. Do we want someone to help? Yes. So why do we pull away from those who care for us in times like these? Maybe we just want to be independent so that we can give all of the credit to ourselves. A feeling of accomplishment always helps to mend a broken soul, right? Maybe we know that down deep inside if we are not the one that gets us to the finish line then we are not a winner at all. We cheated. Questioning whether or not there actually is a finish line is what really stops us from getting even to the half way point.

Those of you who have read some of my poetry are probably aware of my struggle with “self” and trying to find the “me” that I lost a long time ago. I’m on my mission but there are so many pot holes and strong winds that keep slowing me down. Now not only have I lost myself, I have also lost the “me” that I was focused on finding. I am unaware of what I want, need or am capable of discovering now. I may be looking for the wrong things in all the wrong places unknowingly. I do know though, or I wouldn’t even be writing this.

Some pretty good advice pours out from my mouth to others sometimes. I only wish that I would take some of it myself. Here is what the person I am right now can teach the “me” I hope to someday regain. First of all everyone should figure out what their priorities are if they don’t have a clear vision of them. These should be putting the ones you love first and foremost. Above all, love yourself then down the list from there, family and friends.

If we don’t love ourselves and believe in who we are then we cannot stay true to our “me” and how can anyone else love us. How could we even start giving pure love to anyone if we don’t know our own? Once we are going through life on the self knowing path we can then learn to stand up for what we believe is right and turn against the wrong. Listen to others if they are trying to help but, always use your own heart and mind together to call the shots in your own lessons.

We must stay positive. This is usually the most difficult one. If we’re always negative then the results of our tests will be also. Send positive vibes up so that they can come back down. I love the books The Alchemist and The Secret. If you haven’t yet read them do it right away. They have helped me know that I do not have to waste precious time in my life where my mind can be somewhat at ease just believing this way.

Focusing on not only today but every second of it helps us to stop and smell the roses. Time is flying by in case you haven’t noticed and we never get a minute of it back to do over. Look up at the sky and all its changing beauty, listen to the birds singing. Try to adore every hour. We may as well and it really does help us to appreciate a lot more. Happiness can never be recreated in the exact same way twice even if we have mastered it once already. Happiness takes a different form each time and we must figure out its trail along the way. I am happy and I know that I will experience many forms of it within my lifetime. So will you.

I am very blessed with my children, family and friends. I thank God everyday for what he has given me. I can step back and look at my life smiling knowing that the things I do have I am thankful for. Each and every one is a blessing whether in disguise or not. I know that anything can be taken away in a blink of an eye. I have had so much taken away without warning. There are many others who have suffered far greater loss within their lives. I wish we all knew every single coping skill that has been learned throughout time and could put them all to use. Standing in the here and now part of my life I question why I cannot have better. Why everything keeps going wrong. What did I do to deserve all of the twist, turns and long uphill tracks?

I feel like when I do ask these things, I am questioning God and I know better than to do that. He knows we are all sinners and in human form will do this from time to time but, he also said not to question him. We all have and unfortunately it’s normal. Hopefully we are just questioning life’s events not him. We can’t find answers if we don’t have questions although, I’m not sure if that’s an ok way to look at it. Kicking “me” in the butt every time I begin my interrogation process is what keeps me knowing I still know right from wrong. That it’s ok to be confused as long as we’re still discovering. When I do have a thought of this nature I try to direct my attention elsewhere. What can I do to make my life better and to make myself a better player when I’m batter up.

I will hopefully find all of the answers to my trials however the lessons don’t stop as long as we’re here on earth. I highly believe that we are here to learn and that’s it. Learning to live and learning to love. Learning who we are and to appreciate. Learn how to cope with the down slopes while we learn how to look forward to the mountains ahead. We must learn who others are and who they can be. This is life and while I am able to be a part of it I will continue my mission. Confusing yes, impossible no, for we are never given more than we can handle. There are no permanent solutions because there are so many different temporary problems.

©COPYRIGHT By lifesparadox July 2012