- Holidays and Celebrations»
Down And Out For Christmas!
Pray For A New Beginning
Try to ensure,
For just a simple toy,
All the year around,
For every girl and boy.
Pray for a New Beginning,
And what may come to light,
But remember on the battle-field,
There's seldom a silent night.
Tend to the meek and weak.
Warm their bodies and their souls.
Go ahead and make a toast,
And let the good times roll.
But try to raise your brother up,
Before the good times pass.
Try to make it possible,
For all to raise a glass.
Down And Out For Christmas
It’s beginning to look like Christmas.
It’s the happiest time of year.
It’s a time of joy for everyone.
There’s a smile from ear to ear.
There’s a smile covering,
Every grimace on every face.
How I wish I could join them,
But I think I’ve lost my place.
I have often pondered,
How I’d spend this special day.
For I’ve had a growing testicle,
That keeps getting in the way.
My doctor says it’s Christmas Time,
For this over sized testicle to go.
And it appears that this testicle,
Will never cease to grow.
I’m getting it downsized for Christmas,
And Lord I hope it heals.
In the meantime I’ve been tempted,
To buy “it” a set of wheels.
I thought of maybe wearing a sling,
Or putting it in a pack.
But I’ve been a bit concerned,
That it could break this Grinch's back.
Most people look so happy,
With broad smiles from ears to ears.
But, I’ve had to make an athletic supporter,
Out of two different sized brassieres.
One size cup is a 16 A,
The other is a 42 D.
I have to fish around a lot,
Whenever I want to pee.
I will readily confess,
My Yule log is but a twig,
But that one testy testicle,
Is excruciatingly big.
The “Crown Jewel” is too bulky,
And heavy to carry around.
So I’ll be getting a new snow globe,
When Santa comes to town.
There may be discomfort,
But it needs to happen soon.
For no-one needs a testicle,
That can be seen from the moon.
It’s during this festive occasion,
When so many join in celebration,
That my number came up,
To have this testicular operation.
I apologize for the TMI,
And in so many rhymes.
But I decided to lop the pair of them off,
And install a set of chimes.
Perhaps if things work out,
I can run and jump around.
Instead of having my ornament,
Dragging on the frozen ground.
Instead of having a beach ball
That continuously forever swells,
Every Christmas from now on,
I would have my own Jingle bells.
So put some holly on my Wally,
And hang some mistletoe,
Take a little ribbon,
And tie a little bow.
I’ll walk bowlegged into Christmas,
And folks will laugh as I turn and leave.
I guess I’ll be down and out for Christmas,
But I may be erect for New Years Eve.
by Micky Dee
This hub was written months ago and explains the "problem".
But the problem has grown.