Personal Independence

1. 74

   vrbmftposted 14 years ago

   So what does being independent mean to you?  Does it mean the same as equality?  How do you practice being an independent person concretely in your day to day life?  Do you invite the people you love to also experience their independence?  Do you know how to shift from independence in a relationship to interdependence?
   
   For me these are good questions which I ask myself a lot, but it is humbling to acknowledge how I sometimes interpret independence as being righteous, proud, and stubborn!  I am often afraid to shift into interdependence in a relationship in fear of losing my independence which will not happen if it is true interdependence, but the fear keeps me from having richer relationships at times.  So how aabout for yourself?

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   1. 71

      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Freedom to do what I want when I want, achieved by my own power/effort.
      Equality is a given if you are a U.S. citizen. I wrote a hub about it.
      Being an independent person is based on your sole ability to be responsible for every aspect of your life, without help. It is not something practiced. The status is a self-realization of oneself situation/circumstances and how it came to be.
      Extended that hand once, and it was rejected.
      There is no need for such a shift. Relationships, usually best built on friendships, find common-ground among life views. Independence is not something that needs to be lost in a relationship
      Being independent is and has nothing to do with being righteous, whatsoever. Righteousness is a superiority complex, filled by one's ego. I can understand a person who is independent, being proud. It is because they will have a good self-esteem and a very high level of self-confidence. But, it doesn't mean they are selfish or greedy or egotistical. They are confident in their ability to wade through Sh!t, and come out smelling like a rose.
      Well, I have only one thing to say about your above statement- You are your own obstacle.

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      1. 74

         vrbmftposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks for the input and feedback.  I have that thought myself, sometimes, that I am my own obstacle!

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   2. 70

      ilmdamailyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Absolutely not. And I didn't realise it until you put it like that. Thanks for making me see my own blind spot:-)

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2. 81

   Rafiniposted 14 years ago

   In order to achieve true Interdependence you must first reach Independence and then be able to think and have a Win-Win attitude.  Then seek first to understand then to be understood so you can achieve synergy (a positive energy that allows each member to reach beyond the limits of their abilities) and then continue the cycle by living in a constant state of Renewal.
   
   
   As for me?  Win-Win situations are extremely hard to find....

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   1. 81

      Rafiniposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Oh, I forgot to answer the questions!  LOL
      
      
      Independence...to me it means not relying on someone else - for my own happiness, for my thoughts, for my beliefs, for my principals, or for my lifestyle.  I am perfectly capable of deciding for myself, I am certainly able to make my own choices.  I don't need anyone else for these things - this makes me independent.
      
      Independence and equality are not the same thing.  Independence is based on the personal while equality relies on there being others for comparison.
      
      Independence in an interdependent relationship can only be possible if both people in the relationship think Win-Win.  (whether personal, professional, or social...)  Otherwise the relationship will be doomed.

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   2. 74

      vrbmftposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      All that you posted is good stuff!  I got to thinking about the Fourth and how we think of independence politically and even there, forgetting that the forefathers were so conflicted that they were not really declaring independence for everyone, but only the white guys.  Women weren't even included.  So I started thinking just what independence means to me beyond politics.  I am also intrigued by interdependence.  So thanks for stopping by and contributing to the discussion.

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3. 86

   donotfearposted 14 years ago

   Independence means feeling happy with yourself without needing others approval in order to acheive fulfillment.   The opposite of independence would be, in my interpretation, codependence.

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4. 61

   cbloggposted 14 years ago

   Independence to me is being able to depend on yourself for everything, to know that you can look after yourself and that you are strong enough to make decisions regarding your future, hard or soft. It doesn't mean that you cannot ask for help, or have others supporting you, it just means you think for yourself and take responsibility for yourself. I am extremely independant but I also have a good family that I rely on. So I guess its an individual thing. I think 'donotfear' had a great answer as well. I agree totally with her.

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5. 58

   Tony6223posted 7 years ago

   Independence...
   There is a lot to say about this like the others before me which I have read through and I want to thank you.
   But to me, independence is more than not having to rely on someone for things in life. It’s more of a sense of knowing where you belong. What you can do on your own and knowing how to do certain things by yourself is great. It’s a good start to knowing how to deal with life’s tragedies and mishaps as well as the good things that follow. Thinking now, being independent is also realizing what you can live without. That PlayStation, the thousand dollar iPhone X, the really expensive vehicle parked outside; that’s all just stuff you don’t need to have to get by. I’ve alsays thought to myself, ”if those before me could do it, why can’t I?“. It’s not exactly a good motto to live by but there is so much behind it. The people that lived before us were primitive compared to today’s technology and it’s always been a race to see who can come up with the best what. It’s somewhat redundant because it’s making us super dependent on what we don’t need.
   I have a little twist on what I think independence means. It means you don’t need things or people to make you who you are. You need your own self control and discipline to know what’s better for you to live your life happy and stress free.

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