Being independent in a relationship
So how do you succeed at being independent in a relationship,while still showing that you care? I have a view ideas but would love to hear what you guys have to say.
Technically, I am not a guy........but here goes.
There are few things that I can not handle for myself, do for myself, and figure out for myself.
When those things arise that are too much for me to handle, to figure out, or I just need some muscle, or someone to bail me out............I am committed to calling the same one.
Other men may think differently, but my husband is a ' traveling man', and he is on record as saying, that he appreciates that I can take care of myself.
When I need help, he is only one that I call upon. Not a neighbor, not the hubby of a coworker, and not even a brother..( I have 6 )........when I need a man's skill or know-how, I call my own hubby. It either waits until he can get home, or he changes course and GETS home!
Never, ever, make your partner appear inadequate, when in fact, they are simply unavailable.
It has worked for us for over 30 years.
I have always found it interesting that men never worry about "losing their independece" in relationships.
Personally I don't think it should be a goal to have one foot in and the other foot out of a relationship. "Us and We" should always be more important than "You and Me" in a serious relationship or marriage. A good relationship is a partnership. Both people encourage each other and support one another. Ultmately we're all looking for someone who will love, appreciate, and accept us as we are. If you find you are in a relationship where this is not the case then you are with the wrong person.
The best relationships are between people who are more alike than different.You're better off being with someone who wants the same things as you.
I think the key is holding on to your identity and knowing who you are. In fact, that's why someone was attracted to you in the first place - because of what makes you, you, so never give that up. That does not mean, however, that there isn't room for compromise since that's an essential in any good relationship.
I think you need to maintain some Independence..
Your own hobbies and interest.. otherwise you have nothing to talk about and he gets bored and you get took for granted..
Lesson learned from having someone else dreams always be more important than mine, .. you then get to be just the housekeeper or just the GF and nothing special.. not going down that road again for anyone.
Maintain the relationship with mutual respects and shared interest.. But keep going with your own separate as well, trust me you don't wanna become ONE too much with anyone to where there is no room for you to grow and get bored with each other, too much of each other.
If you have time apart and seperate hobbies just ensure you also make a regular time to do something special together too.
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