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Humor--Jokes From Real life.

Updated on April 19, 2015
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Kids! The darndest things they wisely come up with!! If you are a teacher, then you know what we are talking about. We will never forget those days in grammar and middle school when life was easier. Actually, seems like it was the day before yesterday. Back then (1976) friends were cool and use to make clean jokes and silly pranks; nothing like getting mad for anything, not even closer to those kids from Columbine.

Let's share some joyful moments leaked from a retired school teacher. Well, let's check some answer to a real test and how smart they were...!

Karl, a middle school teacher handed the social studies questions to his students. The morning came for the ones who didn't perform good enough in social studies and history. But let's introduce "Marky." This buddy of ours did not study, as usual, the weekend before -- was going to call him "Joshy," but thought Janine would leave a longer and hilarious comment.

Marky was this 14 years old kid, who was more interested about listening (downloading for 2015) his favorite tune, and talking to his girlfriend on the phone (smartchat) than studying... as he should've been. He tried to do his "best," and probably he could've done better by doing what he was supposed to do. Without much ado, here are his answers to some 'general studies' questions

  • When did Charlemagne die?

Answer: On the day he stopped breathing

  • Where was signed our declaration of Independence?

At the bottom of the page

  • What's the first cause of divorce?

Well, that is an easy one: marriage

Source
  • What happens if we throw a piece of chalk on a blue river?
  • It gets soaking wet
  • How can you stay awaken for 10 days non stop? (like Josh)
  • Sleep during the nights. That was a tricky one!
  • How can we hold an hippopotamus with one hand?
  • Haven't seen an hippopotamus with one hand! Not yet.
  • What cannot you eat at lunch time?
  • breakfast and dinner!! Whew!

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  • If you need ten guys to build a house, how long would it take to build the same house with 5 guy?
  • None! The wall was already built by the 10 guys.
  • If you hold 2 apples and 1 orange in one hand, and two oranges and 1 apple on the other hand, what do you have?
  • Two big hands for sure!
  • What does an orange cut in half looks like?
  • Like the other half!
  • What did Pythagoras and Newton do for the human race?
  • Give us headaches and nightmares
  • Why is math so hard for you?
  • Never saw a softer math. Is hard enough to deal with!

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  • If you see a friend getting drown in a swimming pool, would you jump to save his/her life?
  • Well, I can't swim for sure. But I did jump one time; that's when I got pushed from behind. Gee!


"Dear Mark,

We thoroughly appreciate your wise answers, but take this memo for your parents to read, and make sure to get it signed. Otherwise, you will stay back one more year.

Best regards, Karl Mayer."

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  • Lord De Cross profile image
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    Joseph De Cross 4 years ago

    Thanks Carol, This kid migh be th real deal for the White house right? Or maybe a speaker who has an answer for everything. Thanks for the visit!

  • carol7777 profile image

    carol stanley 4 years ago from Arizona

    I needed a good laugh today and I enjoyed this a lot. Thanks for sharing all this fun. Voted UP..and also thanks for your kindness.

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Catching up with your comment Tammy. Kids can come up with unpredictable answers. There are times when we laugh at things we did as kids. Your fun comments made us laugh. Take care and thanks!

  • tammyswallow profile image

    Tammy 5 years ago from North Carolina

    LOL! These are really cute. I love kid's literal thinking.. but they get stumped when you ask them who is burried in Grant's Tomb. Thanks for the chuckle.

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Always Exploring, Thanks for the visit. We laughed all the way as well. We all have known of kids like Marky. Either they become stand up comedians or get a seat at the Capitol.

  • always exploring profile image

    Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

    HaHa, I needed to start my day with a good laugh and you provided..Thank you..FUNNY I think i know a kid like Marky..

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Rcrumble, Marky could've been a good character at comedy central. His quick humor can match very well known comedians. Thanks for reading us!

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Marcoujor, Sure! the main cause for divorce is marriage according to this smartie! Not that we hate marriage but in a way he was right. Ops!

    @RHW, we feel for future generations. Education has been left aside for ingernational affairs and senseless wars. Hope you can teach one day. You have a great sense of humor!

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Josh, you are welcome, now you need to rest more that 4 hours! Me and Janine keep track of your sleeping hours and you cheat. Please take it easy and smile with us!

    @Billybuc, we understand yoyu as a teacher, kids can come up with asnwers and can make us feel pain added to laughter. Hope to see you soon! Thanks for your support!

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Debbie and TToombs, these kids are smarter that any politician making money at Congress. Thanks for stopping by! You ladies are awesome!

    @Easy KJ!! Still dodging your words of appreciation for this fun hub. You are so right, so many kids with that mentality had kids of their own and, we live everyday thinking if that day is our last one....but seriously, we all need to have common sense regarding internal violence. Thanks again!

  • kj force profile image

    kjforce 5 years ago from Florida

    lord de cross.....funny and scary at the same time...these are the kids that grew up and had children of their own...now that's scary...loved the hub...thanks for the trip down memory lane.....

  • TToombs08 profile image

    Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

    This was great, Lord! Loved every word of it! I wish I was as smart as some of these wise kids! :) Great job!!

  • Deborah Brooks profile image

    Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

    Joseph lol. I agree with him about the math so hard ...so. funny ..reminds me being on school ...lol .....love your hub blessings. Debbie

  • Lord De Cross profile image
    Author

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Sincere thanks to you guys, heading to a day job.

  • rcrumple profile image

    Rich 5 years ago from Kentucky

    Marky obviously went on to a brilliant career writing stand up!

    Enjoyed tremendously! Great Hub!

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Thays a cute kid!! Haha I loved volunteering at school because the kids were SO funny! And so sweet...ugh...a few pop into my mind and I miss them:)

    Love you teachers!

  • marcoujor profile image

    Maria Jordan 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

    Guys are so funny, LORD. I don't know that age matters...

    What's the first cause of divorce... Who'd a thunk it? UP and FAB.

  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

    Well Joseph, I would be laughing harder than I am, but having taught for eighteen years I have seen many of these answers, and a part of me is almost in tears. LOL Great hub....wait, did you say Josh was funny? I must have missed that. I'll have to go visit his hubs again and see if I can find any humor in them. :) Oh yes, you can tell him I wrote that.

    As always, a pleasure to read.

  • josh3418 profile image

    Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

    Joseph,

    Hilarious hub buddy! I was cracking up, especially when you mentioned me staying up eight days in a row! LOL Great job here, really funny!