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The Morning Conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama #5

Updated on October 24, 2011
Michelle Obama
Michelle Obama

February 24, 2011 - Weight


A fictional account of the private morning conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama by Dexter Yarbrough. Fifth in a series.

Barack: Now, Michelle, you mean to tell me that you let that idiot get to you?

Michelle: How dare he question what I eat?! And how dare he talk about my weight?! He never said anything about Laura Bush!

Barack: Don't let it bother you. We have had a great week, what with Rahm winning the race for Mayor of Chicago.

Michelle: Barack! Don't you dare try and minimize this! How dare that...that...that buffalo butt talk about me?!

Barack: I'm not minimizing it. I'm just saying that no one listens to his silliness. It is a ploy to rattle us.

Michelle: Look at my shape. I am toned and well-defined. I could be a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model if I wanted.

Barack: Yep.

Michelle: And I damn well will eat whatever the hell I want! If I want to eat fat-back, hogmog and turnip greens in bacon grease, I will!

Barack: Well, now, Michelle, you really should leave that pork alone. You know its not good for you!

Michelle: Shut up!!

Barack: I'm kidding.

Michelle: Somebody needs to harpoon that whale! I could whup his butt anytime, anyplace, anywhere!

Barack: Yep. It looks like Qaddafi is losing steam.

Michelle: That fat cow needs to learn how to steam vegetables!

Barack: Yep. Hey! Where you going?

Michelle: To work out! I want that big ox and any of these other fake ass radio and tv personalities to see how beautiful this body looks! Wait till our next state visit!

Barack: Are we having dinner together tonight?

Michelle: Yeah, we're having "roots, berries, and tree bark!"

Stay Tuned for More 'Morning Conversations...' with Barack & Michelle Obama, next time!

Copyright 2011 - Dexter Yarbrough

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    • Terri Meredith profile image

      Terri Meredith 6 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Found you on Hub Hoppers. Very funny!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 6 years ago from United States

      Thank you! I hope you keep tuning in!

    • ltfawkes profile image

      ltfawkes 6 years ago from NE Ohio

      Nice. Love it.

      L.T.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 6 years ago from United States

      Thanks, Itfawkes!

    • N.E. Wright profile image

      N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY

      LOL. Love this!!!

      Rush is a fool. LOL.

      N.E.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 6 years ago from United States

      Thanks!!

    • N.E. Wright profile image

      N.E. Wright 6 years ago from Bronx, NY

      No problem.

      N.E.

    • Ashantina profile image

      Ashantina 6 years ago

      Vent sista vent! :))

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 6 years ago from United States

      Yes! She was angry!

    • profile image

      Ghost32 6 years ago

      Okay, ROFLMAO! Didn't know who'd made the comment until Michelle referred to "buffalo butt"; that told me Rush had (*ahem!*) "weighed in" on the subject.

      My five-foot, 100 pound wife "ballooned" up to 131 lb. one time, in the middle of menopause and with some horrible medical problems all contributing. She was NOT a happy camper till she got that back down to her fighting weight! Want to bet Limbaugh didn't know that when he pushed THAT button, that you can flare ANY lady's nostrils, talking smack about the bathroom scale and such?

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 6 years ago from United States

      I would bet that the REAL Michelle was just as ticked off!!

    • profile image

      Lesleysherwood 5 years ago

      Wow... they were spotted eating, how shocking. Poor Michelle, leave her alone.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      I agree, Lesley!

    • Shinkicker profile image

      Shinkicker 5 years ago from Scotland

      "roots, berries, and tree bark!" LOL

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Really hilarious!

    • Lisas-thoughts101 profile image

      Lisas-thoughts101 5 years ago from Northeast Texas

      I love it!! Nothing like a woman rattled. Even a first lady :) and on I march

      Lisa

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
      Author

      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Enjoy! Thanks!

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