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The Morning Conversations of Barack and Michelle Obama #28

Updated on June 7, 2012

November 25, 2011 - Be in the Black

A fictional (and satirical) account of the private morning conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama by Dexter Yarbrough. Number 28 in the series.

(Michelle Obama enters the White House Kitchen...)

Michelle: Good Morning, Barack. No breakfast for me. That Thanksgiving dinner was enough to last three days.

Barack: Good morning! Yep, it was delicious. I think I will have some green tea.

Michelle: We should go to Best Buy and get in on some of those Black Friday specials! Ha ha ha!!

Barack: Yeah! We could take over the store and shop before everyone else does. The Secret Service agents would have heart attacks trying to get that together on short notice! Ha ha ha!!

Michelle: Have you ever wondered why the word "black" is often used in phrases or words? I mean why call the day after Thanksgiving "BLACK FRIDAY?" Why not "White Friday?" I mean, Black Friday sounds like a day that all the black folks in America are swarming the stores for chickens to fry!

Barack: (laughs hysterically) Yeah! I mean this week is a bad one for poultry. The white folks kill all the turkeys and the black folks kill all the chickens! Ha ha ha!!!

Michelle: Ha ha ha!!! But seriously, have you thought about it?

Barack: You mean like why do people say "the BLACK sheep of the family?"

Michelle: Yes! It has a negative connotation.

Barack: I see what you mean.

Michelle: Let's do this: I will say a word or phrase that has "BLACK" in it and you tell me what it means. We can discuss the negativity surrounding it. But it has to be the first thing that comes to your mind.

Barack: Alright. I'm game!

Michelle: OK. "BLACK PEPPER."

Barack: White pepper!

Michelle: C'mon Barack! Who has ever heard of "white pepper?"

Barack: For your information, the Europeans prefer white pepper over black pepper.

Michelle: Hmmm. Maybe that explains why slavery lasted longer here than it did over there.

Barack: Huh? In salt and pepper, I have always wondered why "salt" always goes first. The letter "P" comes before the letter "S."

Michelle: Great. You know your ABC's!

Barack: I think its a racist conspiracy.

Michelle: (using 19th Century American slave vernacular) Yessum! I bet ol' Massa jes 'bout had da hart 'tack when he done seen da sal n pepa on de table - togeta!

Barack: (roars with laughter) I'se gwine, Massa. I'se gwine. I sho do loves how you makes me wok from sun be up to da sun be down, Massa! I de clare you'se da bes Massa 'roun!

Michelle: Ha ha ha!! OK. Moving on - "BLACKBALLED."

Barack: Well, it's better than getting the "blue balls!" That reminds me of this Hawaiian girl I dated in high....

Michelle: Barack! I don't need to hear about your past sexual experiences - or lack thereof!

Barack: (clears throat) Sorry. Yeah, it's like when someone says "you are behind the eight ball." That white ball is always hitting the colored balls!

Michelle: Yeah! And the eight ball is always the last to get hit in the pocket!

Barack: What's next?

Michelle: OK. Have you noticed that "BLACK CAKE" is devil food cake and "white cake" is angel food cake?

Barack: What the hell is "black cake," Michelle?

Michelle: You know, chocolate cake!

Barack: Uhhh...next.

Michelle: "BLACKOUT."

Barack: What do you suggest, Michelle? A WHITEOUT?

Michelle: How would you like to earn a "Niggah, please?" It could simply be "the lights are out" or the person "passed out." Why does it have to be a blackout? Huh, Barack, huh? And you are not playing fair. Say the first thing that comes to mind!

Barack: Alright! Alright!

Michelle: How about...

(A White House Assistant enters the kitchen)

WH Assistant: Mrs. Obama? You have a guest. Mr. Leroy.

Leroy: Hey, Michelle! It's your boy, Leroy! Fresh from the southside of Chicago!

Michelle: Leroy!!!!! I am mad at you! We have a lot to talk about. (gives Leroy a hug)

Barack: Oh, Lord.

Leroy: Hello, Mista Prez!

Michelle: We were talking about the use of the word "black" and the negatives surrounding it.

Leroy: Can I get in on this?

Barack: Yeah! Michelle gets mad at me!

Michelle: You don't say the first thing that comes to mind, nut!

Leroy: I'se ready, y'all!

Michelle: Say the first thing that comes to mind when I use a word with "black" in it. "BLACKMAN."

Barack: Herman Cain!

Leroy: No. He's BLACKERMAN - the supernegro! "Faster than a speeding Cadillac! More powerful than crack cocaine! Able to leap tall white women in a single bound! Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! No. It's a plane. No. It's BLACKERMAN - the SUPERNEGRO!"

Michelle: (laughs hysterically)

Barack: Ha ha ha!!! Supernegro!

Michelle: Leroy, you are too much!

Stay Tuned for More 'Morning Conversations...' with Barack & Michelle Obama, next time!

Copyright 2011 - Dexter Yarbrough

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    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Mckbirdbks! Yes. I think you're right! Thanks!

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Good morning Dexter. The President and his family must be hungry by now. Hope all is well.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Thank you Lady E. Some fresh content is upcoming! Always great to get a comment from you!

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 5 years ago from London, UK

      I came by to read an update on the Morning Conversations in the White House. I can't believe I missed this one. I love your sense of Humour. Ace.

      Best Wishes.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Ghost! Ha ha ha! I love your perspective! I have missed you. I have been vacationing but shall return soon! Thanks for reading and the votes!

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      Ghost32 5 years ago

      Okay, excellent as always--but biased, those Obamas, at least on this issue. Ain't nuthin' more negative than getting caught in the middle of a blizzard whiteout in the middle of nowhere. Or more positive than suddenly finding yourself in the black after coming within a cat's whisker of losing your Subaru Outback to the title pawn people.

      My redhead looks awesome in black. White does nothing for her.

      Voted Up and Over.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Arusho! Thank you so much! It is called lack Friday because this is the day the retailers intend to make a profit after being financially in the red for the earlier part of the year.

    • arusho profile image

      arusho 5 years ago from University Place, Wa.

      Great hub Dexter! Very witty. Why is it called Black Friday?

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Professor! I am honored that you would take the time to grace my hub with your wonderful comments. Thank you so very much!

    • profile image

      Aka Professor M 5 years ago

      @Dexter Yarbrough: This series shows the true versatility and writing expertise that you bring to HubPages. It takes a great deal of concerted concentrated effort to pull it off as well as this one does, my friend!

      This deserves all the accolades that it has garnered for this entertaining and delightful well craft series, My Friend! Voted Up and Pushed all the buttons! ;D

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi James! Always a pleasure! Thanks for your kind words!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Feenix! It is always a pleasure when my friend from NY visits! I remember reading about that! Thanks!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Fpherj48! You are too sweet! Thank you so much. I have been away for a few weeks but I am back to deliver more good times.

      I really appreciate you. Please know this.

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 5 years ago from Chicago

      Excellent and witty, Dexter. I enjoyed your fine Hub here. Well done!

    • feenix profile image

      feenix 5 years ago

      Hey, Dex,

      When I first started reading this post, I thought about a rhetorical question posed by Malcolm X. He asked, "Why can't the White House be called the Black House?"

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Dexter....What can I say about your fantastic Obama Series, that hasn't been said hundreds of times by all who follow you? Whenever I'm blue ...due to a black cloud above my head, it's usually because my numbers are in the red. It's difficult to see the grey areas when looking for gold and silver, but find only copper. I come to your colorful hubs, Dex, because you make me laugh and before I know it, I'm in the pink!! Thanks friend.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Amors! It is a pleasure to have you read and comment on my hub! Thank you so much for your generous comments. I really appreciate it. I hope you find the other "conversations" just as enjoyable!

    • Amors Potpourri profile image

      Amors Potpourri 5 years ago from Victoria, BC, Canada

      Dexter I enjoyed this Morning conversation between the President and First Lady. What really cracked me was the piece about the "Black cake" and Angel cake," because I never thought of it that way. So many things we take for granted, but most times there is greater meaning behind what appears to be so innocent. Keep up the good work and I intend to read more of the President and First Lady conversations. LOL!!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi b.Malin! Thank you so much! I would hope the Obama's would like the series. But I am not sure! Maybe I will try and send it to them. I hope they have a sense of humor!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      That was really a great story, Beth!!!

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      Hi Dexter, it was worth the wait, very Funny, dry wit Humor, you are the Man! Mmm, do you think Barack and Michelle would also Enjoy? You should send them this series.

    • bethperry profile image

      Beth Perry 5 years ago from Tennesee

      P.S. -regarding the reference to Black Cake, when I was in high school my poetry teacher brought a Black Cake to class one day. It was a recipe from the collection of Emily Dickinson and got its name for the heavy amount of rum and black walnut extract that made the flour turn dark. I may never have remembered that cake if I hadn't read your hub. It was the first the time I saw a teacher get snookered on school grounds, so thanks!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Beth! Glad you enjoyed it! Ha ha ha!!!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Epi! It brings me joy when you visit and show your support for this meager writer. Thank you so much!

    • bethperry profile image

      Beth Perry 5 years ago from Tennesee

      Dexter, enjoyed this newest edition of the story! But poor Barack and his perpetual blue ball problem ;)

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 5 years ago

      ........you must stand corrected - lol - Dexter, YOU are something else - will be posted with pride, joy and dignity to my Facebook page with a direct link back here - love your photography too - Dexter you are truly a renaissance man and as the ladies all tell me - one good looking dude - lol

      lake erie time 4:09pm

    • anglnwu profile image

      anglnwu 5 years ago

      Thoroughly enjoyed this. All I can say is black is beautiful and as another hubber pointed out, sophisticated or elegant. Thanks for the laugh--loved it and rated it up.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Sueswan! I hope you had a great day. I am so glad you enjoyed this. Thank you so very much!

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

      Brilliant once more Dexter and here's to so many more to share on here.

      Take care and enjoy your day.

      Eddy.

    • profile image

      Sueswan 5 years ago

      Good Morning Dexter!

      "Michelle: Ha ha ha!! OK. Moving on - "BLACKBALLED."

      Barack: Well, it's better than getting the "blue balls!" That reminds me of this Hawaiian girl I dated in high"

      Leroy: No. He's BLACKERMAN - the supernegro! "Faster than a speeding Cadillac! More powerful than crack cocaine! Able to leap tall white women in a single bound! Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! No. It's a plane. No. It's BLACKERMAN - the SUPERNEGRO!"

      ROFL

      I have started my Monday morning with a good laugh.

      Thank you Dexter.

      Voted up, up and away!

      Have a wonderful day. :-)

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Will! Thank you, sir. And I promise to get that to you soon. Work has been really busy!

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      What makes this stuff so funny is how we easily we can see them actually having such a conversation. Humor must have the ring of truth to be funny, and I can visualize Michelle giving Barack a hard time like this.

      Up and hilarious, Dex!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi JT! Yep! I was with you from the beginning! Thanks!

    • JT Walters profile image

      JT Walters 5 years ago from Florida

      Dex,

      Sometimes I leave bland comments but since i feel I know you a little better I thought I could share my sense of humor with you. That and you know I read the article and comprehended it. The reds do seem to have it all lately.

      All My Best,

      JT

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi JT! Thank you! And I hear you on the red! Yes, the red!!!

    • JT Walters profile image

      JT Walters 5 years ago from Florida

      Hi Dex,

      This was hysterically funny. I love these hubs. But you the question you should really be asking yourself is why is being in the red so much better. Which Includes red pepper as well. Black and white are both forlorn but being in the red is the way to go entirely.

      JT

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Flora! Yeah. I agree with you. It should be "Green Friday" after all the money folks are giving to the retailers!

      I have heard that phrase! Also, if a black person has done something nice, some ignoramus would say, "that was mighty white of you." Boy oh boy!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Sunshine! You are more than welcome!

    • FloraBreenRobison profile image

      FloraBreenRobison 5 years ago

      Hi.

      These made up definitions are funny. There are a lot of colour phrases where you don't know the origin.

      One thing I learned on the news this weekend. The reason why Black Friday is called black Friday is that until that day a lot of stores in United States are in the red. Now as to why being in debt is referred to being in the red, and why making enough money to have a net profit is being in the black, not sure. You would think that it should be in the Green, since money in United States is Green. But, of well.

      One actual phrase that used to be used with the word white is extremely racist. When you acted like a gentleman you were told "that was very white of you." Excuse me?

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Thank you Dex and Leroy!! I'm going shopping for my dress asap! The inauguration will be here before we know it:)

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Sheila b.! I can always count on you for a great comment. Thanks!

    • sheila b. profile image

      sheila b. 5 years ago

      I thought I'd have a good comment, about being in the black, then went back for a second reading and saw you'd beat me to it with your title. Anyway, I wish Obama would get us in the black instead of speeding us into the red.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi MAKUSR! It is always a pleasure to have you visit and comment. Thank you so much. It means a lot to me.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Sunshine! Leroy really likes you. He has never met you but feels you have a wonderful spirit. He plans to ask Michelle to invite you (and your husband) to the next inauguration - as a special guest!

      Anyway, glad you enjoyed it. Thanks so much!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Always Exploring! Yeah, Leroy has a great sense of humor. I sense a mischievous streak running through his blood as well. He tends to be shy around people he doesn't know. But give him a drink - he is one of the best comics around! Thank you!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Donna! Thanks so much! Unusual - that is the Obama's! And Leroy!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Dr. BJ! How are you? I am learning different styles of humor. You are an expert! You have me laughing and laughing always! Thanks! Leroy is really something else. I have to warn him often to watch his tongue!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Rosemay! You always have the kindest things to say. Thank you! I am always happy to know I put a smile on your face!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Movie Master! I have been traveling for work, so I have not been as active. But I am back! Thanks so much. That "t" shirt is cool, huh? I haven't seen Cloverleaf around. Is she doing ok?

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi AR! I see the comedy streak is contagious. Thanks for sharing! Hope you had a great holiday!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Jim! I should have contacted you while I was writing this. You have some good stuff to add! We could have a comedy team going here! Thanks, my friend!

      By the way, you are right. I have never been "black" in color. Maybe it's time to come up with something better!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi StayPos! They have some fun times in the WH. They may seem stiff and rehearsed in public - but behind closed doors, it is a party! Thanks, my friend!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Momma! You always bring a smile to my face. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving! Thank you so much and know that the love flows freely back to you!

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image
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      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      Hi Cardisa! Thank you. I will see what I can do about a wake-up morning conversation from the boudoir! Thanks so much!

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      Manoj Kumar Srivastava 5 years ago from India

      Dex, That was quite a laugh but was that black humor with white lies (imagination I mean here). That old lingo was too much, Dex. I love this black and white tale. President Barack Obama was last year in India. Your conversations are really good. Keep them coming.

      With warm wishes,

      MAKUSR

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Dexter your Obama series just keeps on getting better and that's no WHITE LIE! I was LOL'ing from start to finish! Superb!!! :))

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      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      I can't stop laughing. That Leroy cracks me up. Your satire is among the best. Michelle needs to get off the President's ass, he's got enough problems without her mouth..Hee.. loved it

    • DonnaCosmato profile image

      Donna Cosmato 5 years ago from USA

      Unusual play on words, Dexter! I voted this up and funny.

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      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Don't know exactly when nor how it started, Dex, but black has been historically used to describe evil, darness, and the bad guy in the black hat. While white portrays good, light and the good guy in the white hat. The only positive use of black as an adjective that I can think of is a 'basic black dress.' Or 'black tie and tails.' Both very elegant.

      BTW, that Leroy (nee Dexter) is a card. What color? Not sayin.

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      Rosemary Sadler 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      Great to see another hub Dex, they never fail to bring a smile. Thank you for the laugh today

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Dex, love the T shirt pic, 'Obama is the new black'

      Great, funny hub Dex, I was glad to see you had published a new hub, I have been missing you, hope all is well, take care MM

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      American Romance 5 years ago from America

      Actually using the term white followed by a verb never works........I heard a white guy say to a black audience, ladies you know what they say? if you ever try white...........you will go back to black!

    • TheManWithNoPants profile image

      TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

      Blackmail - All mail delivered to the poorer side of town or ghetto.

      Black eye - This needs to be changed as it sounds too much like black GUY. This can screw with us white dudes. "Not sure how it happened, but I got drunk at the party and woke up with a black _ _ _" If you're a dude, it can cost you friends!

      My friend Richard, who's black, and I used go over these things. We took it deep. Sure miss those days at the gym before he moved to S. Carolina, and just hanging out. Anyway .. If I were black, I'd take exception to being called black. Most blacks have beautiful coffee colored skin these days. Then you've got darker brown, but an actual black person would look as freaky as an actual white person. Albinos are freaky looking. No? (See Edgar Winters)

      Dexter, this was extremely funny, and now I'm obsessing, so I'd better pack it in. I'm out and you're cool!

      jim

    • StayPos profile image

      StayPos 5 years ago from Florida, USA

      Dexter,

      That's quite the " black " referenced conversation for our First Couple to be having in the " White House " but then again they always seem to keep it real funny whatever their topic of conversation. Great segment!

      Up and Funny!

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Hi Son,

      This is your Momma, Fergie from the 'White-Eyed Peas' saying that she loves you, loves your moxy and this fabulous article... voted UP & FAB, mar!

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      Carolee Samuda 5 years ago from Jamaica

      Another great laugh Dexter. Cane we get one from their bedroom too...please. You know before Michelle puts her face on!