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The Tales Of Bobby Popzilla A Aussie Ocker

Updated on January 2, 2012
'Bobby Popzilla'
'Bobby Popzilla'
Dora
Dora
Dora's talents won her a position in the local Freak Show
Dora's talents won her a position in the local Freak Show
Dora eventually had to refrain Drew with chains
Dora eventually had to refrain Drew with chains
Ringo Shaboo
Ringo Shaboo
Pandora's accident led her into the arms of horny Bobby Popzilla
Pandora's accident led her into the arms of horny Bobby Popzilla
Pandora Drew's sexy new bride
Pandora Drew's sexy new bride
Pandora loved to ride...and bikes too.
Pandora loved to ride...and bikes too.

Thought it was bout' time I brought a little piece of Australia to your hearts. I am honoured to pay tribute to a great Aussie legend, Bobby Popzilla. Grab your stubby and sit back me mates. Deadset, this is the Dinky-di.!!!



In the outback Australia,
In the town of Chinchilla,
Lived an extraordinary man,
Named Bobby Popzilla

Now Bobby's birth father,
Drew Thomas Popzilla,
Was so fierce and grouse,
That he scared ole' Godzilla

His mother named Dora,
Had a passion for guns,
She would lurch in the fields,
Shooting cream buns.

Dora, drew wages,
From the freak show in town,
Stretching her lips,
Til they hung to the ground.

Drew slurped on his XXXX,
24 hours a day,
Cussing and ranting,
"Can't help that I'm gay.
"

When Drew's belly grew wider,
Than the whole blooming town,
Dora exploded,
And tied hubby down.

Poor little Bobby,
Dared never to speak,
Born with one testicle,
He only did shriek
.

His only real friend,
Was Ringo Shaboo,
The product of crossing,
A pooch with a ro
o.


When Bobby turned 20,
He packed up his swag,
And headed for Roma,
Dressed in mere rags.

Tired and hungry,
After days in the scrub,
He sat picking his nose,
While chewing a grub.

He listened intently,
As he heard footsteps draw near,
And there in the bushes,
Suddenly a woman appeared.


"Eek eek", he did mutter,
As he raised his club high,
"This woman", he pondered,
Wants a bit on the sly.

"Can you help me" she muttered,
For me wagon broke down,
And I've lost my wee dentures,
Somewhere, here on the ground".

"I'm late for me bingo,
It started at four,
Was adjusting me side mirror,
When I shot through the door.
"

"Me name is Pandora,
And I'm only a midget,
I only have mishaps,
When I'm tempted to fidget."

Drew simply stared,
His heart was a' thumping,
At this little plump creature,
That he wouldn't mind humping..........

...............................................................


Two years have now passed,
In the town of Banana,
Where the couple got married,
By 'Acka' the farmer.

Pandora is glowing,
Her belly a growing,
With Drew ploughing the fields,
For his annual weed sowing.

His profits in farming,
Have prospered the pair,
He now struts down the streets,
In his gold underwear.

The locals inspired,
By this one baller 'ocker,
That they've built a new clinic,
On the site that he knocked 'er.

If you are ever a travellin
Be sure to stop by,
To the town of Bannana,
For this aint a lie.



© Deb Murray 2009

Drew Thomas Popzilla at his son's wedding day
Drew Thomas Popzilla at his son's wedding day

HEY TRUE BLUE

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    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      And so are you Blake :)

    • blake4d profile image

      Blake Ford Hall 7 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings

      You are always correct BP.

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Yes so very correct Blake and I choose the first. Followed by the second or both at the same time. Am I correct :) :) :)

    • blake4d profile image

      Blake Ford Hall 7 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings

      I only can assme that a lady should be allowed to decide with whom she is to be humping or hubbing...am I correct?

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Haha Blake why don't you pack up your swag, start singing 'A Waltzing Matilda', and get down to Banana, I will give you a personal introduction. Then again that might be dangerous as Pandora will get the hots for you, and Bobby might get so cheezed off he will whack you over the head with his club.Did you mean humping as well as hubbing? LMAO. Kisses to you xox

    • blake4d profile image

      Blake Ford Hall 7 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings

      ROTF LMAO LOL OMG ROTF again LMAO again LOL OMG Again...

      Oh yes indeed here is a new triumph, I may just have to put everything on hold today and just contemplate this ditty of yours BP. Wow, is that based on a real folktale in the Assuie mythos...wheather invention or reinvention, fabulous. A very funny oddity of the Australian nuclear family meets a psychadelic pied piper with a twist of Hunter Thompson or some lunacy. If you need more praise, props or translation call me anytime.

      I can hear my heart going BP, BP, BP...=)

      P.S. I love Pandora...great choice, really clinches the whole surreal thing without a word. BBW are gorgeous too.

      But I can think of another dear lady that

      "At this little plump creature,That he wouldn't mind" hubbing.........

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Hi there Astra love your name too by the way ROFL. Please if you are ever in Australia I will take you to meet this Oz mad-cap family lol. Thanks heaps for the grats too.

    • Astra Nomik profile image

      Cathy Nerujen 7 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

      Congrats on your amazing milestone! 700 + fans! Correction 730 fans!Awesome!

    • Astra Nomik profile image

      Cathy Nerujen 7 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

      This had me in knots! This is so funny and the fotos are bizarre. They are like baloon people. You write so well! I just published my first poem on hub pages. I want to write fun stuff like this!

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Haha you poor thing do not fear I will go grab my bottle of valium, will be right back.

    • bat115 profile image

      Tim 7 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      LOL, I guess I was so disturbed by this that I wrote "disturned". Sorry about that.

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Lol bat115, yes the pics are a little disturbing, they are a most peculiar family indeed.

    • bat115 profile image

      Tim 7 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      funny stuff, blondepoet, if not a little disturning in the pics department. lol

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Thanks Bhawna those folk sure are some strange strange people.

    • Bhawna Sharma profile image

      Bhawna Sharma 7 years ago from Mumbai, India

      lol...it's funny.

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

      Hi there Micky....that stomach....it is as real as I'm a blonde I swear to you ROFL. Isn't it just ummmm....haaa can't think of a appropriate word :)

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 7 years ago

      Thank you again BP. Very nice. Is that stomach real?

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Thanks isis I am so happy you got a giggle, I love doing the funny stuff, I really do xoxox

    • profile image

      isis_dreams2002 8 years ago

      that was so funny bp keep it up I love to read your writing like this one i just wish i could write things like this

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Well earnest it is better to have you later than never. How have you been.? Did you see my great video I made on Cindy's birthday page in the forums. Ooo prepare yourself. (hugs)thanks so much I love having you drop by.

    • earnestshub profile image

      earnestshub 8 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      I don't even have an excuse for missing this amazingly funny hub BP.

      You are a real talent and a wonderful contributor to hub-pages. I loved the poem and your humor is embedded in the whole hub so well. Congratulations on having received so many wonderful comments too!

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Hey kea, I will beep you tomorrow to see if you are ok LMAO

    • kea profile image

      kea 8 years ago

      These images are disturbing! I'm not sure I'll recover. Entertaining, yet disturbing :)

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      Hey beautiful...wanna Skype for a minute?

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Indeed Am I Dead Yet they are. Can you imagine how his neighbours feel LMAO. Thanks so much for stopping by.

    • profile image

      Am I dead, yet? 8 years ago

      oh my, the pics are terrifying. Esp the guy with ascites!! Painful!

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Haha.Thankyou Paper Moon I could not agree more.x0

    • Paper Moon profile image

      Paper Moon 8 years ago from In the clouds

      Scary pics, great hub!

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Hahah it was bigger than a bus wasn't it. I honestly have never seen one so large hahah

    • profile image

      LAmatadora 8 years ago

      oh my god that belly was HUGE!!! Funny hub girl!!

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Haha Tom, I am very perplexed actually. Everytime I either comment on one of your Hubs or write a response to you on one of mine I have just realised I always begin with a Hahah. I think it has something to do with the fact that you crack me up, in a good way of course lol.

      Hey AE, oh it is so cool to see you. Oh yes that belly you could almost swear there was something like a round lifeboat or something like that stuck inside there. Like it is soooo round LMAO.x0x

    • AEvans profile image

      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Oh BP , That is hilarious and that belly of his looks like a gigantic egg that is scary.lolololo ((Hugs)):)

    • Tom Rubenoff profile image

      Tom Rubenoff 8 years ago from United States

      OMG you'll have to start writing plays after Shakespeare now after this epic! And yes, I'd heard your talents are big...

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Aww thanks Pest yes I do have a big list of talents LMAO not necessarily all good ones haha.

      Hahaha Eric, indeed we could be talking about saliva here....mm..that is the question of the day

    • Eric Graudins profile image

      Eric Graudins 8 years ago from Australia

      @Pest - Sure it's not a pool of Drool?

      After all, you have remarked once or twice that BP is pretty easy on the eye :-)

    • Pest profile image

      Pest 8 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

      BP, your talents as a writer never cease to amaze me and always leve me in an envious pool of wonder.

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      I don't know I have been wondering the same thing I feel so lost

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      BP, where is everybody????????

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Hi jajeisan5892 thanks heaps probably for the non-Aussies it may be a little hard to understand.xox

    • jajeisan5892 profile image

      jajeisan5892 8 years ago from Los Angeles

      very interesting. i enjoyed your hub

      thanks

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Hey Benson,lol,I am so glad it shows,come to Oz, I will teach you to have fun LMAo

    • Benson Yeung profile image

      Benson Yeung 8 years ago from Hong Kong

      it's not fair that you have so much fun that it spills over in your writing.

      Dr Benson Yeung

      http://doctorshealthtips.com

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Lol badcompany99 that is so cool to hear. My day was full of a few bleak clouds, but it's all good, the wind has blown them all away lol

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      LMAO now the second and final question, are you really a man, will need some kind of physical evidence :)

    • RKHenry profile image

      RKHenry 8 years ago from Neighborhood museum in Somewhere, USA

      lol! yes, they are straight, mine and shiny white.

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      AgingtoPerfection hello :).Oh thankyou so much your praise means much to me. I found them on a website full of humorous pictures.There was thousands.I picked the ones I wanted lol and then concocted a tale to suit the ones I had. LMAO giving you my trade secrets lol.(hugs)

      RKHenry oh my. My first online proposal. :) I will need to know do you have all your teeth? (hugs)

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Hey cindyvine my dear friend,damn, I didn't grrrrr. I was so busy. Mind you I saw them on the telly for about ten minutes before my movie started,ooooo,I lapped up what i could haha,before Clint Eastwood strutted on my screen.Gee that man still has the wit at 80years old.Make my day......(hugs)

    • RKHenry profile image

      RKHenry 8 years ago from Neighborhood museum in Somewhere, USA

      Blondepoet, marry me!

    • AgingtoPerfection profile image

      AgingtoPerfection 8 years ago

      I loved the quck wit behind this poem. It was very entertaining. I enjoyed it very much.

      Where in the world did you find all these intereseting pictures?

      Have a great day!

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Hey BP, how was the weekend? Manage to watch any of the men in tight short running around playing footie?

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Aww Eric I you are a gem. Flattery like that will get you everywhere LMAO. Wowee better than Lara Bingle,oh I am blushing.Considering Lara's beauty,boy that is a hugeeee compliment.x0x0

      Hey Raven LMAO, now I know he don't look like it, but Bobby told me he mated a kangaroo with a Border Collie, but yes, personally I think there was a threesome involved,with a lama too.Aww and thankyou sooo much for liking my pics. Big hugs to you Ravenxox

    • Raven King profile image

      Raven King 8 years ago from Cabin Fever

      What? C.C. didn't love the photos? This is must be one of the funniest hubs! I like the photos. Those fat people look very frisky. Yum...yum. Is Ringo a tiny lama or a poodle? :)

    • Eric Graudins profile image

      Eric Graudins 8 years ago from Australia

      Hi Deb,

      Great Hub.

      With teetth like that, I think Dora might be from one of our more famous Tassie bogan families.

      Us Aussies are gunna take over HubPages soon. Your hub will get more tourists here than Lara Bingle ever did. (Plus you're better looking and have a nicer personality than her! )

      BTW - Nice pic of you in the belly dancing outfit. Real class!

      Eric g.

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Awwwww RKHenry you are the sweetest of the sweetest. Big hugs to you.I am going to ship out.. a pair of pink Bonds mens underwear immediately to you , courtesy of my friend Bobby.xox

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Gidday Teresa hahah that is some cat you have there.Maybe we could mate the cat with Ringo Shaboo hahah imagine what we would get from that mix ooooo.

      Hi Everyday Miracles oh thankyou sooooooo much. :)

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Hahaha C.C now I got to ask you when you say, "Now i'll need some translation of some of that Strine". What the heck is a shrine loooooool I have no idea is the American talk again. What you don't like my pictures ? Oh Bobby won't be happy bout that hahha.

      B.T Evilpants LMAO oh dear I hope tonight you have an arousing dream with you and Pandora,wouldn't want you to have nightmares again......

    • RKHenry profile image

      RKHenry 8 years ago from Neighborhood museum in Somewhere, USA

      Best EVER!!!

    • RKHenry profile image

      RKHenry 8 years ago from Neighborhood museum in Somewhere, USA

      This is the best hub ever! I going to nominate it to be a hub nugget in the hubber's hangout. I don't have any power, but hopefully it will the GREAT recognition that it desires.

      Best!!!

    • Everyday Miracles profile image

      Becki Rizzuti 8 years ago from Indiana, USA

      Oh my! Now THAT was funny! Thank you for sharing your talent with us!

    • Teresa McGurk profile image

      Sheila 8 years ago from The Other Bangor

      Glad to know culture is so rife with rich idiom in the colonies. . . (my cat typed that. I told her to write "great hub; brilliant idiom," but the cat is warped and thinks she's funny. Sorry.)

    • B.T. Evilpants profile image

      B.T. Evilpants 8 years ago from Hell, MI

      I read this shortly before going to bed last night. All night long, I dreamed that Drew was chasing me with a knife and fork, and a napkin around his neck. I may never sleep again!

    • profile image

      C. C. Riter 8 years ago

      That was good Ceb. roflmao! hahaha good funny poem, terrible pictures tho'. hahaha Now i'll need some translation of some of that Strine, I'm workin' on it tho'. haha Aussie Pie. good Cris

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Hey Cris thanks for coming by. We Australians are a funny bunch that's for sure

      Thanks so much Frieda as of the last few weeks my inspirations for Hubs has been low.I think the Midori inspired this turn of events last night LMAO

    • Frieda Babbley profile image

      Frieda Babbley 8 years ago from Saint Louis, MO

      roflmao What a fun treat. Thanks BP!

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 8 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      Yeah, a healthy serving of Australian pie! This was good entertainment! Thanks for sharing :D

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Gidday Christoph!!!! Hahaha believe it or not they don't look so bad now.I gave em a makeover and they are both looking hot. Fair dinkum, and oh Drew's Dad has carked it, he basically was rooted from hitting too much Turps. He was a huge Dunny rat, no word of a lie hahah.

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Hahaha hairy A.S.S crikeys you're a wally. How many times I told ya cook yar own bloody eggs...Fair suck of the sav...have a bloody sandwich.Them pics I uploaded on U-Tube,dead right I did. Ridgey didge. That will cost ya big bikkies to get em back now. Awww my dear hairy A.S.S don't crack a snake LMAO

    • profile image

      hairy A.S.S. 8 years ago

      hey chris , you want the chocolates you gotta start with the boiled lollies. Come ear and give big daddy a hug.

    • Christoph Reilly profile image

      Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

      Great poem, B.P. But oh, those pictures. Oooooo. Yuck! If I visit you in Australia, don't introduce me to your "friends!"

    • profile image

      hairy A.S.S. 8 years ago

      Dang it gal how many times do i hafta tell ya to stop playin wiff dat keyboard thingamagigi. Now get you ass back in the kitchen and rastle up some grub. I'm starvin. You can put them piktyars of me bak in that hard drive too. Although there the good ones. Ive put on wait since then.

      BP great poem mate.

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Hahaha I adore your Aussie Shalini you are Dinky-Di ...

    • Shalini Kagal profile image

      Shalini Kagal 8 years ago from India

      Fair dinkum BP? Thanks :)

      If my second pup hadn't been so little I would have been flying home this weekend after a week in Brisbane!!

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Hey Shalini so great to see you. Thanks a million you're true blue.x0x

    • Shalini Kagal profile image

      Shalini Kagal 8 years ago from India

      BP - that was great - thanks for bringing that 'little piece of Australia to our hearts'! :)

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      LMAO I second that motion. It's funny how the people differ here.The city people are definetely not as friendly as the outback folk. I lived out Roma for awhile, I was happy, my hand dropped off from waving to the locals,boy there was a pub on every corner.Had to leave while I was sober haha.I nearly got bashed by this huge Momma who wanted to kill me as I walked past her house everyday,and he husband would look. Hahah bashed for walking past her house boy oh boy.

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Yeah, definitely! Went to Sydney and Gold Coast a few years ago. Much prefer the Aussies to the kiwis!

    • blondepoet profile image
      Author

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Struth it's Cindy yahooooo. When you visit OZ I will give you a personal tour of the outback, and take you to Banana loooooooool.x0x0x

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      LMAO! I loved this! Have always loved the Aussie sense of humour! My dream is still to drive through Aussie in one of those Campervans!