ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Yoshe Yunibrau (with Glenda)

Updated on May 20, 2013
Yoshe Yunibrau (with Glenda)
Yoshe Yunibrau (with Glenda) | Source

I will grant you this, upon first meeting, Yoshe Yunibrau can appear quite unprepossessing.

Even after one discovers that husky Yoshe is known far and wide throughout South Central Europe as “Yoshe, the Yiddish Yodeling Tyrolean”, he still seems — um, well— distinctly raggedly regressive and rudimentally rough about all his edges.

And, despite a formal introduction to the glamorous Glenda, his adorable and seemingly perpetual ovine companion, one still can’t help but think that this guy is a really just a throwback to some lost earlier age (say, the Pliestocene, maybe?).

Maybe it’s those nasty toenails of his. The crackerjack keratin carapace cladding Yoshe’s distal digits appears much more like the claws of Tyrannosaurus rex or Velociraptor mongoliensis than the delicate nails on the feet of his fellow Swiss sheepherders.

Or, perhaps it is the habitual public presentation of his partially exposed and pasty physique — a nearly chrome-domed tuftily-haired shirtless barefoot hulk with matching mustachios and eyebrow.

(Those hand-stitched suspenders of broadloom carpet scraps in clashing colors certainly can’t help. And, man! How they must itch!)

Trousers of razor-crinkled hammered tin sheeting bearing years of questionable patina also tend to make one quietly, yet quickly, tip-toe back to a nice safe distance (just in case this guy is in any way unstable — you never know, right?).

And, last but not least, seeing Yodeling Yoshe in constant companionship with his cuddly sheeplet sidekick tends to conjure up in a viewer’s mind some unsavory type of way too adult-rated relationship.

Well, you can stand corrected and rest assured. Yoshe is the perfect gentleman sheepherder and caretaker toward woolly little Glenda. (As he also is toward her 14 identical siblings: Gilby, Gloria, Gottfried, Gulma, Gomez, Gerber, Gentoo, Garfield, Gaspar, Gifford, Gumby, Gomer, Greta & Garbo. You see, Yoshe does not actually always have glam Glenda by his side; he’s usually about with one or another of her clone-like sibs — they just all look the same, so who knew?)

And, while we’re setting the record straight, don’t let Yoshe’s rather retro Neanderthalian appearance fool you. It seems Mr. Yunibrau is the humble holder of the first chair in the violin section of the Luzern Philharmonic. A retired professor of Linguistics & Semantics from the University of Cologne, he is the author of 27 hefty texts, ranging from “What is Up? Directionals in Drama & Fiction” to “You say ‘Tomato’, I say ‘Tomahto’: Why Pronunciation Defines Class”.

His unusual attire when out of doors and about town is merely a contrapuntal contrast to the tailored Oxford shirts, navy blazers, mohair slacks and ascots he tends to prefer when rambling about his Victorian rockpile of a castle high above the sheep meadow. Rather than tame his dense unibrow, Yoshe trims it assiduously, in memory of, and tribute to, the unibrows of his forebears going back dozens of generations to the Andalusian Court of St. John the Hirsute.

So let all of this be a gentle reminder, dear reader: Never judge a rough-hewn Yodeling Tyrolean (or anyone else, for that matter) by his decidedly downscale appearance.

A
tyrol:
Tyrol, Austria

get directions

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • rickzimmerman profile imageAUTHOR

      rickzimmerman 

      7 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      Paradise7: Thanks for thinking so well of my wandering wordplay!

    • Paradise7 profile image

      Paradise7 

      7 years ago from Upstate New York

      Gooly gee, what a gift of gab you have!! I enjoyed everything, not only just the alliteration.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)