hi my name is junalene I never fall inlove again since my x bf and I brearkup last 2 yers frm nw.coz its complcted..and now my problem is many guys courting me but all of them are busted..!its because im afraid to fall in love again..its so hard for me to move on..dats my one reason..what im going to do..?!
You can read my hub -
http://hubpages.com/hub/Falling-in-love … it-for-Men
I went through a similar thing when I was divorced. There is no real way to compress the time that it takes to heal but you must be in a frame of mind to allow healing to take place, otherwise, this will be a yoke which will ruin much of your life. Part of that process is to get your mind back to where it was before you suffered the heart. At some point, you believed that if you played fair then life would play fair with you...it was an expectation. Now you that it is not always true. That is no reason not to expect it. Do not become a slave to the process of love. You know in your heart and your mind what you want to see in a person. Keep your focus on those things. Keep your bar high so that your expectations are met. At the same time, keep your self-esteem high. Don't settle for having a guy around who falls short of your expecatations just to salve your esteem...that is a ticking time bomb. Verbalize your expectations to those you meet. Let them hear loud and clear what you expect in and from a man and qualify that expectation with all the good things you bring to the table for him. Someone will be listening and that someone may well be someone that you are attracted to physically and emotionally. Because they have been listening they will do things to show you that they intend to meet your expectations and create a lasting relationship. In turn, you show your approval and keep the bar high. Make sure they are leaping at first to just touch it and keep them leaping for a while longer. Physical attraction is good and certainly there needs to be an emotional connection but don't bet all your nickels on that in the game of love. At the very base of a long lasting and true relationship, there was be a strong bond of friendship. You have to be best friends and the guy has to understand that as much as it might confuse him...best friends trumps everything you will encounter that love cannot. It is imperative. Best friends are always longing to be together, to talk and to share...best friends is what love is all about. When you put those things together, you will have an environment in which your trust will begin to return as you want and desire it to. Be patient, don't settle, stay focused, and be happy in your own skin. It worked wonderfully well for me and my new relationship will be celebrating it's 17th year in April...to this day, we are still best friends. My best to you. WB
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