How about the dumbest book ever?

1. 58

   Below-average Joeposted 14 years ago

   Anyone ever read a book where at the very end as you close the back cover you say to yourself, "What a piece of crap" and had no idea why you stuck with it?
   
   For me, "The DaVinci Code".  It sold 8 bazillion copies and I was told it was really good by so many people. I finally read it to see what the hoopla was all about.  Never listen to the masses.  Terrible book.  It read like he knew he was writing it to be a movie.  The pace of the novel is quick, which is it's only redeeming value because it meant that it was over quick.
   
   Oh yeah, "Flowers in the Attic" was pretty bad too.  Never listen to your sister either.

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   1. 0

      cosetteposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      yes that has happened to me. i can't remember the name of the book but i did have the same reaction..."what a piece of crap". hmm, maybe it WAS the DaVinci Code...

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   2. 57

      michael tposted 14 years agoin reply to this

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   3. 60

      ssasaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      For me the book "The Great Horse Ride" is the dumbest in the world. The books goes like this: Jiahaa … ihiii … clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop...

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2. 0

   L. Andrew Marrposted 14 years ago

   Twilight by Stephanie Meyer (Or however her surname is spelt)
   
   Or any of the Harry Potter books.

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3. 82

   Uninvited Writerposted 14 years ago

   I can't remember any really bad books, I usually don't get very far if I hate them I got some fantasy/mystery thing to review and barely got beyond the 1st chapter.

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4. 0

   bloodnlatexposted 14 years ago

   Dynanetix By L. Ron Hubbard

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      cosetteposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      it is incredible to think that he spawned a whole "religion" after a bet with a friend.
      
      or so i have heard.

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   2. 69

      Paradise7posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Big ditto.  What a waste of time!  That'd be my #1, too.
      
      Stephen King, "Desperation", comes in at an awfully close second.  I was a fan of Mr. King, and stayed a fan of Mr. King, but that book simply wasn't worth the paper it was printed on.

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      1. 60

         deartfuldodgerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I think all of Kings stories have been increasingly weak - im not sure about the chronology - but The Stand and IT and christine and drak half were awesome - it seem anything in the last 5 years hasnt been worth going past the first chapter

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         1. 69

            Paradise7posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Stephen King got me back again, with "The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon" and "Hearts in Atlantis", then he lost me again completely with that terrible collection of shorter stories, I forgot what it's called.  I think now he's shot his wad, that's ok, he did good while he was going.

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5. 58

   Holden Kennedyposted 14 years ago

   Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer.
   it was MUCH too experimental and had too little redeeming value. plus, the main character is a little bitch.

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      deartfuldodgerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Im sad to hear that
      Everything is illuminated by Foer, is also very experimental and may be the best modern story i have ever read.
      
      i was looking for to his next book very much

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      1. 58

         Holden Kennedyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         i know, and i LOVED Everything is Illuminated (and in most cases, Foer's experimentation supplemented the story). But I just wasn't a huge fan of EL&IC.

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6. 68

   torimariposted 14 years ago

   I TRIED reading "Pilgrim's Progress." I didn't know what I was getting into but it was a snooze...it was on a college reading list and bleh.
   
   Oh, Dreiser's (or whatever his name is) Sister Carrie is a book I despise. So droll.

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   1. 82

      Uninvited Writerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I really liked Sister Carrie if I recall correctly
      
      I read Pilgrim's Progress also... I think I made it through, but just barely.

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      1. 68

         torimariposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         *cringe*

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      2. 50

         Thirteenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         That was a brilliant book, one of my favs !

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         1. 51

            HealthTipposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            You silly girl as if you could get the meaning of John Bunyan, you sound like some silly college girl being given a reading list !

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            1. 68

               torimariposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               My bad if I'm wrong to assume this was for me but, yes, it was on my reading list from college last year. Regardless, though I didn't finish Pilgrim's Progress, I still graduated with my English BA and an overall 3.8. Maybe if I appreciated Bunyan's dry writing more I'd have a 3.9. Wah.
               
               Just because they are classics, doesn't mean they are always masterpieces to everyone or hold everyone's interest.

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               1. 51

                  HealthTipposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  Just messing with you my friend, no offence meant for some reason I actually liked this book, I blame a sad religious period in my mid teens, please don't take offence

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7. 59

   MadWhiteWaitressposted 14 years ago

   It really depends on the individual who is reading said book.  Their age group, religion, personal taste, and even how much the book has been 'hyped up' by others.  One rule of thumb I live by is: keep your expectations low & you can never be dissapointed!

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8. 0

   TMinutposted 14 years ago

   The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka. My son just had to read this, he begged me to read it to him because he didn't think he could stand it. I see what he meant.
   
   One of the questions he was asked on it was: Do you think it should have ended differently? His answer was: No, this was the right ending, any other ending might have made sense and that wouldn't have fit with this story.

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9. 87

   rebekahELLEposted 14 years ago

   if after the first 50 pages it doesn't grab me, I put it down.

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10. 59

    M Burgerposted 14 years ago

    1984 by Orwell. It was boring. I still don't understand the hype about it.

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       L. Andrew Marrposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Try having to study it...it's awful.

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11. 0

    YellowBrickRoseposted 14 years ago

    Breaking Dawn, by Stephenie Meyer.
    
    Let's count the ways: Biologically impossible baby, most horrifically graphic birth scene ever in which the situation is fraught with medical inaccuracies (placentas can detach without the baby suffocating OR the mother projectile-vomiting blood, FYI) then Death Baby is immediately snatched up by a pedophile who used to be hot for her mom. Cue Death Baby's parents pretending to care about her while foisting her off on the other Mormons--I mean vampires--while they go off and have sex.
    And Bella turns into the biggest Mary Sue vamp of them all.
    
    Oh, and all the tension leads up to...a non-battle, in which once the Baddies realize their mistake, it's all "Oh. Okay. Bye, then." And then it's "perfect circle of forever."

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12. 68

    Pearldiverposted 14 years ago

    For me it was the Queen Victoria birthday edition of Hustler ... by Larry Flintstone

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    1. 0

       Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       you toatlly beat what i was going to say....too funny...

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13. 0

    EmpressFelicityposted 14 years ago

    Lady Chatterley's Lover by D. H. Lawrence.  He really should be given a posthumous Bad Sex Award, if he hasn't been already.
    
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2004/de … adsexaward

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    1. 69

       Paradise7posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Hah! 

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14. 60

    deartfuldodgerposted 14 years ago

    I think James Patterson and Dean Koontz are tied as being the most terrible writers who receive to much acclaim.
    
    Good stories, but horrific writing - they should have both just itched their ideas to some writers with skill in the craft
    
    stephanie meyers stories are rather bad, ut unless your a preteen girl, its just something to be avoided
    
    i didnt like pilgrims progress either, but read the whole thing - think 1984 and anthing by huxley or orwell is amazing
    
    some people are thinkers, others like to be spoonfed, that doesnt speak to the quality of the writer
    
    bad books just arent memorable unless overhyped
    
    just to show im not overly pretentious, i enjoyed ALL of dan browns books

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15. 87

    rebekahELLEposted 14 years ago

    I'm amazed at what get's published.

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    1. 69

       Paradise7posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Oh, yes, agreed.  I'm amazed at what doesn't get published, too.  I've read some mighty good hubs that never had a look-in from print media.

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       1. 87

          rebekahELLEposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          there are excellent writers here, I'm so impressed. in fact, my book reading has taken a nose dive, not because I don't want to finish the books I started. I get involved reading here.
          
          it's like they're sitting on the counter looking at me...

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       2. 60

          bonny2010posted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Iagree with that, but if you every read any of my hub please be truthful but very very gentle lol.

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16. 74

    retellectposted 14 years ago

    men are from mars women are from venus - utter rubbish! I was quite impressed at first and tried the methods for several years with unsuccessful results. Pity

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    1. 0

       EmpressFelicityposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I've read this and I think it's bollocks as well.  It might work for some couples, but it doesn't apply to any of the relationships I've had (if anything, it's always been me who's the cave dweller, not my male other half).  Verdict: about as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike.

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17. 87

    gracenotesposted 14 years ago

    Hmmm....
    My problem with current fiction is that the authors seem to start their stories brilliantly, but just don't know how to wrap them up.  It's a shame, but I'm seeing a lot of that.  Therefore, I can't rate such books very well.  Another thing, at least with American fiction, is that they all seem to write 400-page books.  What is up with that?  Is that becoming a standard part of a book contract?  I'm sorry -- writers should use only as many words as they need to tell their stories!  It is ridiculous to pad a book.
    
    Examples of books I can't rate highly because of the mess the authors made of the endings --
    
    1.  Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks
    2.  Plain Truth by Jodi Picoult
    3.  The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards

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18. 60

    Stimpposted 14 years ago

    hands down:  Dianetics.  Sorry, Scientologists.
    
    He makes a bunch of "factual" statements but does not have a reference of where this factual psychological info came from.  I did not finish it.

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19. 63

    Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

    It may not quite be the dumbest ever, but it as pretty darned dumb...
    
    "Love Story" by Erich Segal.

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20. 47

    LRobbinsposted 14 years ago

    The Shopaholic Series.  I'd heard great things about it, they're all best sellers and I was looking for a light read, but never made it past page 50 - couldn't relate and didn't see what all the fuss was about.

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21. 61

    Fugitive From Nowposted 14 years ago

    Forgive me but I can't read James Joyce to save my life.

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       twalker74posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I don't believe anyone can REALLY read Joyce. I think Ulysses was his big middle finger to the establishment at the time. He did say something like, "I wrote this solely for critics to [chew] on for the next hundred years." Not a direct quote, but close. It is an interesting read, but I will never attempt to claim I got it. I actually spoke to a lit professor a month or so ago about this and she claim that anyone who said they understood was full of [expletive].
       
       Worst Book Ever- The Da Vinci Code. At least I forgot for like ten pages that Dianetics was about scientology. so that's second cause I never forgot for a second that Brown couldn't write. and if anyone wants to hate a writer for stealing time away from their life I read a book called Manifest Destiny a while back. That was awful too.

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       1. 47

          Jackson Riddleposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          I respect a man that can do that (in regards to the quote [the one that Joyce alledgedly said]), although I haven't read the book( I know the general gist of it though)...yet.

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          1. 77

             twalker74posted 14 years agoin reply to this

             I am right there with you. The only way I kinda remember the quote was due to the fact the I was in utter awe when a teacher told me. Right away I thought...That guy is the man!

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22. 0

    Ghost32posted 14 years ago

    The Black Tower series of books by Stephen King.  I read through the whole thing, actually enjoyed one of the volumes, finally found the final book in a used bookstore and made it to the ending, and--decided to provide King with a lifetime boycott.  Haven't touched another page of his prose since that third rate (or maybe 56th rate) ending.  He's often referred to himself as a "hack who got lucky".  After that one, I finally understood why.

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23. 47

    Jackson Riddleposted 14 years ago

    I really want to read it now. I think though I should also tackle Mein Kampf , to see the overall mindset of Hitler would be fascinating, not nessacarily good, but fascinating.

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24. 77

    twalker74posted 14 years ago

    Ghost 32-- I hate King's novels and I am constantly berated for it. I know what you mean. But if you want a book on writing his is by far the best I have read. I took me over a year of people telling me they would refund the cost if I didn't like it. It is really good. Still won't touch his fiction though.
    
    Jackson--if you can get through Mein Kampf, more power to you. That was my intention when I picked it up, but just got sick of it. Maybe it'd be different if I could read German.

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25. 91

    habeeposted 14 years ago

    I guess I'm a nerd. I like the short stories of James Joyce. My favorite is "Araby."
    
    I also liked Pilgrim's Progress, 1984, and The Metamorphosis. Lady Chatterly was okay, but I prefer Lawrence's short stories. BTW, did you know Lady Chatterly was banned in the US for years?
    
    I agree with Ghost about King's Dark Tower series. His early novels and short stories were so imaginative - then I think he just ran out of ideas and got burned out.

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    1. 77

       twalker74posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       THe Dead was good and Metamorphosis is one of my two favorite shorts of all time (the other being A Clean Well Lighted Place). Heard about Lady Chatterly, but can't say I'd like to read it.

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26. 66

    apricotposted 14 years ago

    'Mutant message down under' - the dumbest thing was I fell for it on first reading.  Won't get fooled again as the Who say.

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27. 59

    topgunjagerposted 14 years ago

    The "Bible" by the craziest people who ever walked the earth=)

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28. 91

    habeeposted 14 years ago

    The Bible has some beautiful verses in it - even if you don't believe or follow the religious aspects. Strictly from a literary standpoint, the Bible is a great read.

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29. 0

    Crazdwriterposted 14 years ago

    Anything by Virgina Woolfe and Jane Austen. *gag*

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       bonny2010posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I agree now - i rebelled against it when i was at school and I am still rebelling against it - tried to watch a couple of the movies - couldn't cause I was too busy gagging over the script

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30. 59

    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    Peyton Place by Grace Metalious
    such absolutely meaningless f***ing drivel

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31. 68

    fishtiger58posted 14 years ago

    Anything by Tom Clancy, takes him 2 chapters to describe a tree. Boring!!!

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       twalker74posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Haha, I so agree. Steinbeck's "East of Eden" must be your Kryptonite!

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32. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 13 years ago

    The Dictionary.  That's dumb alright. sigh. :

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33. 0

    Jared in Vegasposted 13 years ago

    I never read The Da Vinci Code, because I read Angels and Demons and thought it was terrible.

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34. 60

    bonny2010posted 13 years ago

    yeap I've read plenty of them, can't remember their names,butfor some reason I have slogged on through them.I agree about the DaVinci Code,but I read somewhere that he cleaned his act up with Angels and Demons...saw the movie and hated it. I tried to read Harry Potter, didn't get far, felt I was degrading myself

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35. 72

    Happyontheinsideposted 13 years ago

    It's got to be the little book of calm...

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36. 0

    khmohsinposted 13 years ago

    "One Hundred Years of Solitude" this book is in Spanish and won Nobel Prize, I read the translation and it was a crap !

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37. 73

    i scribbleposted 13 years ago

    I never made it through the Da Vinci Code. Checked it out of the library (maybe twice) but didn't make it past chapter 3. Some of the sub-plots were interesting, but the part about the monk self-mutilating was just gross to me. The library book was the hardback with oodles of pictures historic places and classic artwork. The problem with that was I couldn't read propped up in bed; the book was just too heavy. Finally saw the movie & wasn't that impressed. And Angels & Demons was even less impressive. Left me with the impression that Dan Brown is just another hack writing sequel after sequel, selling out to what publishers like.
    
    Why do you think this book series is so popular? What books do you really like?

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38. 0

    PrettyPantherposted 13 years ago

    The worst book I ever read was something by Dean Koontz.  Don't remember what it was called, but it was horrible.

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39. 0

    PrettyPantherposted 13 years ago

    Oh, I just realized you said DUMBEST book ever.  That would have to be "Atlas Shrugged."

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    1. 61

       Ron Montgomeryposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I second, third, and fourth that!  It keeps coming back like a foul fungus.

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40. 61

    A2shleyposted 13 years ago

    I got the idea from a friend to read through Time Magazine's Top 100 novels (http://www.time.com/time/2005/100books/ … _list.html).  I just finished reading "Herzog" by Saul Bellow and was so frustrated.  I stuck it out b/c this book is supposed to be amazing but it was awful. I couldn't feel anything for the characters which made it hard to appreciate the novelty of the writing style.

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