Are you reading the obituaries before the news?
I don't read obituaries. If they were close enough that I should go to their funeral I'll know if they died without reading the newspaper. If they were only close enough that "it would have nice if I had known and had gone to their funeral" I do feel bad about not knowing but also tell myself that if the family really cared that I was there someone would have mentioned my name when making up the "Who should we let know?" list.
If they weren't close, then a) why pretend they were, and b) I don't belong at their funeral anyway.
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