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How would you punctuate this sentence?

  1. Availiasvision profile image84
    Availiasvisionposted 2 years ago

    How would you punctuate this sentence?

    There are plenty more examples of the visuals of the film giving away the plot such as Cobb’s wedding ring and the changing wardrobe of his children.

  2. Phyllis Doyle profile image98
    Phyllis Doyleposted 2 years ago

    Just one comma:
    There are plenty more examples of the visuals of the film giving away the plot, such as Cobb’s wedding ring and the changing wardrobe of his children.

    1. Availiasvision profile image84
      Availiasvisionposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks! I really struggle with using commas and em dashes.

  3. bravewarrior profile image92
    bravewarriorposted 2 years ago

    If I were editing your work, this is what I would suggest:

    There are more examples of visuals giving away the plot, such as Cobb’s wedding ring and the changing wardrobe of his children.

    Notice I eliminated unnecessary words and phrases.

    1. Availiasvision profile image84
      Availiasvisionposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you! I like your edit.

  4. MizBejabbers profile image88
    MizBejabbersposted 2 years ago

    Lets do some dissection here. First, this is a passive sentence and in writing, passive sentences should be avoided when possible. I'm not sure about "visuals of the film". Your example is a wedding ring, etc., so would it be more appropriate to say "visuals in the film"?  I am asking because I don't know your context. Except in special instances, a comma is not included before "such as" so your non-punctuation of the sentence is technically correct, but you could substitute "for example,".  The sentence is a little wordy, so I agree with pruning it of unnecessary words. I am an editor of 30 years, and this is what I would do with it:
    Many other visual issues in the film give away the plot, including Cobb's wedding ring and his children's ever-changing wardrobe.

  5. Jodah profile image90
    Jodahposted 2 years ago

    I agree with all my learned colleagues smile

 
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