Why do some people just live in the present and not think about the future?

1. 62

   amandasozakposted 11 years ago

   Why do some people just live in the present and not think about the future?
   
   A relative finally found a part-time job after I don't know how many years. He still lives with his parents (in the basement) and no matter how many times his parents have dropped the subject about him moving out (he's 32 and never moved out), he never has the will to do so. That would be understandable because he has $0 savings and he wouldn't be able to support himself. Now that he has a job, he spends all his money on beer, cigarettes and other vices. He just called me up and told me he bought a 60-inch TV and put it on layaway. How do I help him give more value to money? I care a lot.

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2. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   People change when (they) want to change or when they (have) to change.
   No one can instill ambition in another person. You never mentioned whether or not he has a girlfriend. Oftentimes it is a male's desire for women that motivates them early on to get a car, have their own place to take them to, have money to spend on dates, socialize with their friends, or even become roommates.
   Most men in their 30s are at the forefront of solidly establishing their career path and possibly considering getting married and raising a family.
   In my opinion the #1 responsibility of parenthood is to prepare one's children for the responsibilities of adulthood. Without trying to be offensive it sounds like his parents failed him. I grew up in an era where once you turned 18 you left "the nest"! You either went away to college or you got a job and moved into your own apartment. There is no way my mother would have allowed me to stay in her house as an adult "rent free". In fact she made it "uncomfortable enough" that I was literally counting down the days until I could be out on my own!

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   1. 83

      gmwilliamsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Excellent answer as usual, Mr. Dashing.

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3. 68

   thumbi7posted 11 years ago

   From your post what I understand is that your relative's needs are more or less met by his parents. Unless he has the wish to improve you can hardly do anything about it.

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4. 87

   Lee Teaposted 11 years ago

   The future holds worry, and the past holds sadness/pain.  By keeping your awareness on the present, you offer yourself relief and protection from these two intense and potentially debilitating emotions.  And since neither the past nor the future are happening now, focusing on now is the truest focus you can have.
   
   Is he an anxious guy? Worried? Sad or depressed?  If not, he's doing better than most of us whether we have money or not.  Maybe give him a break and see what his path could teach you - no amount of money can buy peace of mind.
   
   Be well.

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