Do most people think about the well being of their "future children" prior to ch

1. 69

   dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

   Do most people think about the well being of their "future children" prior to choosing a spouse?
   
   It seems to be human nature to think mostly in the "short-term". Our attraction and feelings come first. However should we assume just because (we're happy) with someone they'd make a great parent? Most people only think about this with the prospect of having a "blended" family or second marriage. If you had the power to go back in time would you have advised your mother or father to choose a different person to co-parent with? I know the knee jerk reaction is to say if it weren't for them you wouldn't be (you). Do you think your parents may have been better "romantic partners" than parents?
   
   

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2. 87

   followthestrayposted 9 years ago

   I guess I was an oddball because even as a kid I thought about this.  I dated just a few people before I married my husband.  I was never interested in just hooking up or fooling around because I hate wasting time.  To me, if you don't see yourself having a future with the person you're with--then what's the point? 
   
   We're given so little time.  Some people say that's why you should be with as many people as you can, but I prefer quality over quantity.

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      gmwilliamsposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      VERY INTELLIGENT WOMAN indeed.  Sadly, most people in general date dumb & end up w/ dumb/negative results!

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   Elaine Flowersposted 9 years ago

   I never got the chance to see my parents interact in any capacity because they were no longer together by the time I was born. So, I don't know if they would've made good romantic partners but it's safe to say that parenting was not something my father was up for. I was okay with this because I never knew any difference. However, my sister seemed to have a hard time with it. My mother did an excellent job by herself so I'm cool with how it all turned out. But if she wanted a partner, she should've kept looking.

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   Penny Gposted 9 years ago

   I sure didn't too late now. I wish I would have been older and waited to marry, I would have though about this and a lot of other things as well

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      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Penny G, I'm sure you're not alone! In fact a lot of us would have chosen different parents for ourselves!
      Most people while dating don't ask whether or not he or she would be good parent. Our focus is on how they make us feel.

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5. 83

   gmwilliamsposted 8 years ago

   
   
   Unfortunately, most people practice dumb dating instead of smart dating.  When one dates &/or enter into a relationship, one must assess his/her partner's physical, educational, emotional, intellectual, mental, psychological, & socioeconomic qualifications.  Also, the person that one is dating &/or in a relationship with must have similar &/or even slightly better aforementioned qualifications.  No one in his/her right or logical mind would date or enter into a relationship w/a person who has less of the aforementioned qualifications than h/she has. 
   
   However people do not date smart or have smart relationships.  That is why there are so many marital difficulties.  Each & every aspect of a person must be thoroughly assessed before dating &/or entering into a relationship w/him or her.  This goes quadruple when considering a spouse. So many people do not marry smart but marry dumb.  When one is considering marriage, the physical, educational, emotional, intellectual, mental, psychological, & socioeconomic fitness of the future spouse must be thoroughly assessed  & considered.  Unfortunately, too few people do that which result in less than idea home environments, particularly for the children.   When one dates, enters into a relationship &/or consider marriage & ultimately parenthood, one must do so as an adult, not as an overemotional adolescent.

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   Say Yes To Lifeposted 8 years ago

   EXCELLENT QUESTION!!!
   The Cherokee nation planned 7 generations into the future when a couple married.  That is the secret to their prosperity.  Nowadays, people don't even think 7 months into the future!  They're in heat, or they're after the Golden Ring status.  I personally know numerous cases where people knew they were headed for trouble before they went to the altar, but did it anyway.  My 5 part hub, "Rhapsody and Remorse", describes one of them.  That had to be one of the worst weddings on record!
   I DEFINITELY would have advised my mother to make different decisions!  I'll spare you the gruesome details, but she suffered a nervous breakdown that resulted in amnesia.  My family story would rival Michael Jackson's.
   Yes, people DEFINITELY need to consider what sort of home they're providing for their children - ESPECIALLY if they come from negative backgrounds!!!

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      gmwilliamsposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      EXACTLY!  To reiterate, most people date dumb instead of DATING SMART!

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