Do most people think about the well being of their "future children" prior to choosing a spouse?
It seems to be human nature to think mostly in the "short-term". Our attraction and feelings come first. However should we assume just because (we're happy) with someone they'd make a great parent? Most people only think about this with the prospect of having a "blended" family or second marriage. If you had the power to go back in time would you have advised your mother or father to choose a different person to co-parent with? I know the knee jerk reaction is to say if it weren't for them you wouldn't be (you). Do you think your parents may have been better "romantic partners" than parents?
I guess I was an oddball because even as a kid I thought about this. I dated just a few people before I married my husband. I was never interested in just hooking up or fooling around because I hate wasting time. To me, if you don't see yourself having a future with the person you're with--then what's the point?
We're given so little time. Some people say that's why you should be with as many people as you can, but I prefer quality over quantity.
I never got the chance to see my parents interact in any capacity because they were no longer together by the time I was born. So, I don't know if they would've made good romantic partners but it's safe to say that parenting was not something my father was up for. I was okay with this because I never knew any difference. However, my sister seemed to have a hard time with it. My mother did an excellent job by herself so I'm cool with how it all turned out. But if she wanted a partner, she should've kept looking.
I sure didn't too late now. I wish I would have been older and waited to marry, I would have though about this and a lot of other things as well
Unfortunately, most people practice dumb dating instead of smart dating. When one dates &/or enter into a relationship, one must assess his/her partner's physical, educational, emotional, intellectual, mental, psychological, & socioeconomic qualifications. Also, the person that one is dating &/or in a relationship with must have similar &/or even slightly better aforementioned qualifications. No one in his/her right or logical mind would date or enter into a relationship w/a person who has less of the aforementioned qualifications than h/she has.
However people do not date smart or have smart relationships. That is why there are so many marital difficulties. Each & every aspect of a person must be thoroughly assessed before dating &/or entering into a relationship w/him or her. This goes quadruple when considering a spouse. So many people do not marry smart but marry dumb. When one is considering marriage, the physical, educational, emotional, intellectual, mental, psychological, & socioeconomic fitness of the future spouse must be thoroughly assessed & considered. Unfortunately, too few people do that which result in less than idea home environments, particularly for the children. When one dates, enters into a relationship &/or consider marriage & ultimately parenthood, one must do so as an adult, not as an overemotional adolescent.
The Cherokee nation planned 7 generations into the future when a couple married. That is the secret to their prosperity. Nowadays, people don't even think 7 months into the future! They're in heat, or they're after the Golden Ring status. I personally know numerous cases where people knew they were headed for trouble before they went to the altar, but did it anyway. My 5 part hub, "Rhapsody and Remorse", describes one of them. That had to be one of the worst weddings on record!
I DEFINITELY would have advised my mother to make different decisions! I'll spare you the gruesome details, but she suffered a nervous breakdown that resulted in amnesia. My family story would rival Michael Jackson's.
Yes, people DEFINITELY need to consider what sort of home they're providing for their children - ESPECIALLY if they come from negative backgrounds!!!
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