are regarding the sexual arena? It seems that even though the postmodern 21st century female sexuaity is more liberalized, women are still judged harshly if they cross certain societal parameters. Also as a subcategory of women's sexuality is the issue of women's fashions. There are some who strongly contend that women's modern dress would be deemed "indecent" if it is revealing and that women are dress more modestly are considered to be "more decent" and "worthy". There is even a modesty movement among some women advocating that women should dress "more appropriately" if she is to be well-respected and well-regarded, particularly by men. What is YOUR view on this?
Hi gmwilliams, woman are like any other oppressed group - there is a movement and campaigning with great marches, posters and commercials, yet the underlying paradigm shift never occurs. Laws, societal expectations and values remain the same. It is like the old saying "I am not prejudiced my best friend is black," just saying something is so doesn't make it fact. So as a society we run around saying that women are equal but then aren't paid the same as men and are looked down upon when taking a position of power. To remove the societal chastity belt we must change as a people by actions and not words (and posters) alone. Great Forum!!
"There is even a modesty movement among some women advocating that women should dress "more appropriately" if she is to be well-respected and well-regarded, particularly by men." I totally agree.
Over the past 10-15 years somehow everyone started dressing inappropriate revealing appealing to men on their lowest primal levels. Blouses you buy at the store are now cut so low you have to wear a camisole to cover your breasts. Stars and celebrities present themselves with super tight pants, huge backsides, and breasts handing out everywhere. What happened to women striving to be respected for who they are instead of what "assets" they have? It's crazy. These young girls are now thinking being less intelligent and showing their "assets" are the way to get over in life and they are in for a rude awakening by failing to obtain skills and intelligence. Being, or dressing like a prostitute/stripper is not an acceptable look for any woman attempting to achieve intelligently in life.
The clothing and presentation of some women reveals someone with lack of self-esteem and self-respect. While I don't advocate dressing like a nun everywhere, there is a time and place for everything. There are limits to your sexy as well. Somethings belong in the bedroom and should not be worn in daylight. You can be sexy and classy about your presentation without looking like you are a prostitute everywhere you go. Some state cultures are worse than others when it comes to the dress code.
Women struggled, and still do, so hard to be taken seriously and respected. Then there was this movement to be "a body" and not a spirit, soul, or mind in its best form. It disgusts me when I see an attorney/business woman on television with her breasts pushed up, with a low cut dress/blouse, or every focus on tight pants showing off her butt. It just says, I'm a piece of behind-in the end, so don't be put off by my achievements. A business woman should never be dressed like at any given moment she's going to jump on the stripper pole.
Hi Realtalk247 your comment struck me in several ways. Part of me wants to agree with you but that other part thinks "am I falling into the societal trap?" What I mean by that is women are sexualized as a way to keep them from being taken seriously in the workplace or any other part of society where they may have power. I fall into that trap sometimes and second guess what I am going to wear and wonder how I will be received. Then I think "why am I playing that game." It is true in the past I did not wear a lot of clothing for the fear of how I will be perceived, I am very curvy so that complicates my efforts. I can almost never find something that hides my "assets" and yet when I stop and think - my brain still received a doctoral degree and my body went along for the ride - they are in it together. No one sees a thing wrong with a man who has a nice physique wearing a snug shirt to show off his biceps and pecs. So maybe it is our eyes trained to put women down so that they cannot rise.
So with all that to say, no matter how I have dressed when I open my mouth and speak - I feel heard, I feel respected, I feel professional. When I have found women or men for that fact judging what I or someone else is wearing, I think that it may be out of jealousy or desire to do so themselves but they are fearful. Also, it may be that another woman is fearful of their husband working with a woman like this.
As a woman we should embrace women with all their qualities and "assets" and build each other up not tear them down. I have hidden myself for many years fearing how I would be received until I saw the tricks that society was playing and changed. Mind you I am still covering up all body parts and by no means will anything ever hang out - but yes at times some of my clothes are tight fitting and I am still proudly a doctor. So I say are we all just brainwashed?
Men can walk away from their mistake - they shouldn't. Women have to deal with it.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I lived somewhere in the nude, like a tribe in the jungle or something. I wonder if any of these issues would pop up or if everyone would just be rather bored by each other and have more realistic expectations of what it is to be human....
I mean you have to face the facts - a lot of clothing is meant to be more sexually stimulating than even being naked. If you're wearing something like that you are trying to get sexual attention. If that's your intention I couldn't care less, that's your choice, but if it's not stop whining people are staring at your boobs and put something less distracting on.
But really, the reason why slut-shaming exists isn't because of men it's because of other women. When was the last time you saw a "decently" dressed woman being slut shamed by a man? Probably never... but other women will! Maybe it's the neckline, maybe it's too tight, maybe it's too revealing, maybe it's got leopard spots, maybe it's not the "right type" of clothing for her particular body, or maybe the snarking woman just doesn't like the one she's being disrespectful to. Even stuff that makes no sense could be slut-shamed like stilettos. Stilettos aren't any different than any other type of shoe except in one aspect - they're trying to gain sexual attention and in doing so grab women's disdainful and maybe jealous attention.
If women want to be taken seriously in whatever the wear and whomever they chose to spend the night with then they need to stop judging and spiting other women. That's really all there is to that. I mean we're half of the population, if we united together and decided to stop this BS the battle would be won, the only people left to do the slut shaming would be misogynist male pigs who no one would listen to anyway because they'd be the minority at that point...
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