When you burp in public, you say "pardon me". What do you say when you fart in public ...
When you burp in public, you say "pardon me". What do you say when you fart in public? Do you say nothing and just walk away?
Don't say nothing! Just glare accusingly at the next nearest person to you!
Oh my goodness I'm so embarrassed.
Ooops pardon me, I'm very sorry.
It depends on where you are and what you're doing.
If you're in a public swimming pool you're fairly safe. Just watch the bubbles rise and say ' What a wonderful creation.' Or, ' After my butterfly, I watch the methane rise.' Something like that.
If you're in a fancy restaurant and your fart is audible and carries a detectable scent (stinks like hell) you'll have to do the gentlemanly thing and either own up, mea culpa, and say 'That was good but it wasn't one of my best. I can do better.' Or say ' Mother Nature calling. A country package is on its way!'
If you're being awarded a certificate or diploma then you can just ignore the fart, smile and walk on.
If you're being introduced to a beautiful man or woman or figure of note, celebrity, royalty, wealthy person, etc etc, and you happen to let out an absolute gem just say ' Sorry , I was educated in Australia.' Everyone will understand.
I don't say anything. I shoot a nearby person a dirty look and wrinkle my nose like I smell something rotten. I became a bit of a pro at this.
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