How do you handle people who do not deliver their commitments?
It's irritating when commitments are not made. Whether at work or in personal life, these setbacks can truly derail your plans.
I depend on people in my work place. If commitments by my co-workers, or suppliers are not meet, I confront them with the problem. I let the untrustworthy know if they can not be trusted I will be forced not to take their word. I let them know future commitments will not be heard or taken into account. Hence, if they are a co-worker and they can not be trusted, I let their supervisor know that it is hindering my performance. If they are a supplier, I let them know we are seeking alternative supply.
Sometime all it takes is to understand their situation first, then take action if they are just being sloppy.
The word "commitment" for me applies only to me. Any promise kept or schedule followed by others is merely a gift from them in my mind. I expect nothing in terms of commitment whether it's someone saying they'll be at a party of mine or have lunch with me or even finish a project they said they would. It's just all a gift if they do. I think when you've been beaten down by life, you have very few expectations from others, but still hold on to your own sense of keeping commitments you've made to others. You don't take anything personally You become very flexible and able to adjust and take joy in the things that work out.
At least you can still see the positive in it. I guess it really build character when we face challenges.
This is exactly how my husband thinks. I really need to learn the art of doing this myself as I am just too sensitive.
This is a really tough subject for me as I tend to be sensitive to the world around me whether it's family, friends, or co-workers. Though inconvenient when a co-worker derails my plans due to his/her not keeping commitments, it's easier to overlook than family and friends. When they don't even call to break their commitments (especially when it's something big), then I get seriously agitated. It does build a great wall between our relationship. It shows that they don't really care and are selfish.
For instance, my children have four sets of grandparents. Half of them are very good about keeping their commitments. If they can't, they will at least call. Some of them will even send a gift, especially if they have to break a commitment that is big (i.e., dance recitals, award banquets, etc.). However, the other half of the grandparents don't even bother to call and then act as if everything is okay. They don't even realize this is causing a rift between them and their grandchildren. When it comes to future events, my children don't even count on them anymore. Nor do they even care if they come. It's truly sad.
But, I do like the way Billie (above) looks at this. I wish I could do this as this is the way my husband looks at life. However, I have tried for several years now and can't seem to change my attitude towards it. To me, a gift is when one just does something without the commitment made. A commitment is an "act" that is made. When it is broken, it's going to have an effect.
I am happy to share the planet with them and live in peace. Beyond that, we don't have much contact.
I used to give people dozens of chances to get their act together and keep commitments. I don't bother any more. I enjoy time alone, being creative, or time with people who make clear commitments and act with integrity.
I do feel deep love towards all. I have no judgment against the people for whom clarity and commitment is not part of their lifestyle. But I find that integrity: making clear commitments and keeping them, so that our words match our actions, is essential for joyful living and success. So I only depend on dependable people.
I'll keep this simple. "Fool me once, that one is on you. Fool me twice, that one is on me." I refuse to associate with such people. They are very disrespectful.
how are we going to loosen you up JT? I'm going to send you my Hawaiian music CD - that might work Cheerio, Billie
I'm loose Billie. Just don't have time for selfish people.
Trust is important for me but unfortunately there are people at work and around us that just can't be trusted with certain responsibilities. The worse thing is we are forced to work with them.
I think they make great politicians. They fit right in.
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