Can you help me to be comfortable with small talk at a gathering of people I do

Jump to Last Post 1-7 of 7 discussions (12 posts)
  1. MarieLB profile image77
    MarieLBposted 9 years ago

    Can you help me to be comfortable with small talk at a gathering of people I do not know?

    From time to time I have to attend to seminars and during the break we tend to mingle.  A number of people all interested in the same subject, but having nothing much else in common. 

    Give me something I am passionate about and I will talk endlessly.  But just making small talk with others I am not familiar with. . . . .I ask 2-3 questions then I dry up.  Help!

  2. Kathleen Cochran profile image74
    Kathleen Cochranposted 9 years ago

    When you ask those questions, listen closely to their answers then ask a follow up question on the same subject.  Ex. Where are you from?  Follow up: Did you grow up there?  Is that where your spouse is from? Do your parents still live there?
    Most people have a story to tell.  Just go where their story takes you.  (A glass of wine helps too!)

    1. MarieLB profile image77
      MarieLBposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I tend to shrink from asking too many questions, but your reply give me courage to keep at it.  Thanks you Kathleen Cochran.

  3. tsmog profile image76
    tsmogposted 9 years ago

    I am familiar with those feelings. It is peculiar at times with gatherings of like minded individuals, yet may not be inclusive of familiarity like where one lives, who they work for, or why they are at the seminar. Although those are clues for conversation, I think being an author is for me is more helpful.

    What I mean by that is as authors we have great familiarity with who, what, where, when, why, how,  and how much. So, what I do more with a one on one social setting is create a story using those with another. First is the setting and then the character development. A hint is I learned from a book titled How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Even though only chunks remain it impacts daily life even with standing in line at the grocery store.That helped me with creating plot development meeting people as an introvert.

    When in groups I may begin with that one on one and then create a story then with a different character. I may mingle another with invitation. Usually it is with one appearing with the same feelings I once internalized. Later being an introvert by nature I may retreat inward again and varies with time or even opportunity.

    I may fade away by excusing myself to refreshing myself with the catering or personal reasons. That is inclusive of actually eating or drinking if I did get those first. Usually by that time the meeting begins and I say hello to those at the table I am with or sitting next to with exclamations seeking if they discovered delight with their break.

    1. MarieLB profile image77
      MarieLBposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Lucky you Tim.  Seems you have the situation all stitched up.  I never did read that famous Dale Carnegie book.  Methinks I need to.  Thanks for stopping by.

  4. peachpurple profile image87
    peachpurpleposted 9 years ago

    wait for the first 2 person bring up the topic and then you join in with your questions and answers, try a warm up

    1. MarieLB profile image77
      MarieLBposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Peachy, you've hit the nail on the head.  Seems to me that if I follow your advice, I simply cannot fail. Thank you.

  5. dashingscorpio profile image70
    dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

    https://usercontent1.hubstatic.com/12887158_f260.jpg

    Sometimes your perception of yourself "drying up" is the result of the other people not asking (you) questions! You can't force (chemistry).
    It takes two to keep a conversation going.
    Sometimes the best thing you can do when you sense the conversation is approaching an end is to say:
    "It was nice meeting you. Have a wonderful rest of the day." and then go circulate among other people. The presenters are often talkative.
    Another tactic is to excuse yourself by saying; "I'm going to grab something to eat or get a drink. It was nice meeting you."
    Lastly it's important to ask "open ended questions" if you want to initiate a discussion. They usually begin with (how, why, what, where)
    Avoid questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no.

    1. MarieLB profile image77
      MarieLBposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you Dashing Scorpio for your interesting reply.  Looks like you've long mastered that kind of situation.  You sound so calm, cool and collected.  Wonder whether I will ever be!  LOL!!

  6. connorj profile image69
    connorjposted 9 years ago

    https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/12887307_f260.jpg

    Quite simply, listen most carefully first this will result in potential questions for you to ask next. Thus improving your effective listening will result in the generation of associated questions...

    1. MarieLB profile image77
      MarieLBposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      John Connor, You're right of course.  Listening is so important. it  sounds so simple when you put it that way, doesn't it?
      Thank you for taking the time.

  7. MarieLB profile image77
    MarieLBposted 9 years ago

    Thank you all for your responses.  Very informative, and clear for even me to understand LOL!!

Closed to reply
 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)