Dating or marrying a person of a different religion?

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  1. Origin profile image58
    Originposted 8 years ago

    Would you or have you ever dated or married a person of a different religion? If you haven't, what is stopping you? If you have, any problems? Can you see yourself ever doing it?

    1. Greek One profile image75
      Greek Oneposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      yes, I have many times in the past, but I can't see myself doing it again....

      my wife would KILL me

      1. Sab Oh profile image54
        Sab Ohposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        LOL!

    2. goldenpath profile image69
      goldenpathposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Though not active in my own faith at the time I married a non-practicing Catholic.  It didn't cause any problems until our children were teenagers.  There is an incredible danger and damage to children raised by their parents with differing views and systems of faith.  It will cause confusion.  In our household this has cause a little contention now and then and has caused difficulty in the focus and concentration of the kids.

      Over the pulpit I do preach the importance of marrying within your faith.  Children have the right to be raised in a home with set values and belief systems.  Contention in a home should not be as it is designated to be a refuge from the ills of the world.  I highly encourage marrying within your own faith.  It will be better all around in the long run.

      1. IzzyM profile image89
        IzzyMposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        I agree. I learnt from bitter experience.

      2. Sab Oh profile image54
        Sab Ohposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        "Over the pulpit I do preach the importance of marrying within your faith.  Children have the right to be raised in a home with set values and belief systems.  Contention in a home should not be as it is designated to be a refuge from the ills of the world.  I highly encourage marrying within your own faith.  It will be better all around in the long run."

        You're making a mistake.

        1. goldenpath profile image69
          goldenpathposted 8 years agoin reply to this

          I respect your opinion.

          Having seen firsthand the youth of many families in such circumstances my precept stands firm that it is best for the mother and father to have similar long term goals especially when it comes to matters of faith.  Without this, parents are nurturing the faith of their children upon sandy foundations.  When times get really tough, and they will get exponentially tougher in the future, they will be left at the mercy of blowing winds with nothing to hold on to.  I've seen it many times while counseling young people and, unfortuneately, I'll see many more.

          1. Sab Oh profile image54
            Sab Ohposted 8 years agoin reply to this

            "I respect your opinion."

            Unfortunately, on this topic, I don't respect yours.

            1. goldenpath profile image69
              goldenpathposted 8 years agoin reply to this

              Fair enough. smile

    3. spiderlily profile image65
      spiderlilyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      The love of my life is Hindu and it doesn't matter to me, I just know he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

      1. nikipa profile image71
        nikipaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Agree... Sometimes religion really doesnt matter too much.

    4. emievil profile image77
      emievilposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Definitely yes. My husband and I have different religions and I dated several guys in the past who also have different religions.

      *edit* and I don't see any problem in that. As for our children, well we don't have any yet, we'll just cross the bridge when we get there.

  2. Origin profile image58
    Originposted 8 years ago

    I guess I could answer it myself, huh? smile

    I don't see a problem with it, but that's because I'm not really religious myself so I don't think it would cause any issues, at least from my perspective.

  3. Shadesbreath profile image84
    Shadesbreathposted 8 years ago

    It's funny, my wife and I were having this conversation yesterday.  I had a dream she came home wearing a headscarf and had converted to Islam.

    She asked, when I told her, "What would you do?"

    I told her it would totally depend on how far she got into it.  If she was just going to the meetings or whatever sometimes, that would be one thing, but if she turned into a different person, tried to change the way we live, make new god based rules and stuff, then, yeah, it would start to become a problem.

    I suspect that as more of the superstitious stuff invaded my home, the ability to be supportive of her interests would probably start to transform into annoyance and resentment.  But, all that totally depends on the level of devotion.  There could, in hypothetical sliding scales, come a point where a new faith could become akin to finding "someone else."  (I've seen this happen and worse with a friend of mine who married a woman who became insanely Mormon and doomed their marriage as she became increasingly judgmental year after year, first judging his friends, then judging him for his impiousness... to the point she ended up having an actual affair with a good, pious mormon man and left my friend.  LOL).

  4. VENUGOPAL SIVAGNA profile image57
    VENUGOPAL SIVAGNAposted 8 years ago

    No harm in marrying a person of a different religion, if the religion is a soft one, like christianity, budhism, Hinduism, etc.

  5. iantoPF profile image80
    iantoPFposted 8 years ago

    Hi Origin; Interesting question.
    My wife and I are from very different backgrounds. She is a Native American (Western Apache)I'm Welsh. She was raised Catholic I'm as Pagan as the stars, raised in the spiritual path of the Druid. We met when she was on vacation in the UK and she caught my bus. I'm still a bus driver here in America. I was in my early 40's, she was in her mid 30's. I mention that so you can see we were both pretty set in our ways.
    But you can't choose who you fall in love with and we do not choose the person to whom our desires are directed.
    So I came to America, got married and we have two healthy boys. In the early days I went to mass with her and found that standing beside someone you love and singing praises to her God was magic in itself. I had many conversations with the local priests and found them to be good men. In spite of the negative things going around, these men I would trust implicitly with my children.
    Over time my wife moved to my Heathen ways. One day she suddenly realised she had been worshipping a dead man. I do not proselyte, the Gods call to you or they do not, it is not up to me to choose for them. Now she follows the Wiccan path and honors the Goddess. We celebrate the seasons as a family, our boys with us.
    My own philosophy, based on personal experience is; follow your heart, it will never fail you.

    1. VENUGOPAL SIVAGNA profile image57
      VENUGOPAL SIVAGNAposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      We should and must choose who should we love, The person chosen should attract our desires.  That is the only way to lead a peaceful life.  But I must congratulate you that your choice have proved good for you....  A rare one.

  6. DevLin profile image60
    DevLinposted 8 years ago

    Dated a Jew when I was christian, then two Wiccans when kinda christian, then a white witch when a humanist. Our parting had nothing to do with religion. It wasn't really ever talked about. But I need someone sane. I'd rule out women all together with that. Not about to switch teams though. One of them did.

  7. Pandoras Box profile image66
    Pandoras Boxposted 8 years ago

    Couldn't fully respect someone who seriously held foolish beliefs.

    1. Sab Oh profile image54
      Sab Ohposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      And YOU decide which ones are "foolish"?

      1. Pandoras Box profile image66
        Pandoras Boxposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        No I let an imaginary sky fairy figure it all out for me. Better yet, I just rely on the ancient writings of long dead men. I put it up for a congressional vote.

        Dang, TK, you argue over everything. Hell yeah I get to decide. My life, my commitment, my standards, or my future life-long regret and compromise.

        See, I'm an atheist. As such I have a very high moral standard and sense of personal integrity. Therefore, unlike many religionists, I take marriage very seriously.

        TK, just explain to me this. Who the hell else would decide who I ought to marry? You maybe oughtta slow down a bit there on the knee-jerk, interminably critical, canned responses. Sometimes they truly make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

        1. Sab Oh profile image54
          Sab Ohposted 8 years agoin reply to this

          "No I let an imaginary sky fairy figure it all out for me. Better yet, I just rely on the ancient writings of long dead men."

          Being a bigot will certainly limit mating options. Maybe it's just as well...

          1. Pandoras Box profile image66
            Pandoras Boxposted 8 years agoin reply to this

            There's nothing bigoted about it. Just your imagination determined to find fault.

            1. Sab Oh profile image54
              Sab Ohposted 8 years agoin reply to this

              Of course there is. It's the very definition of bigotry. If you are not comfortable with that then you need to take a look at your own attitude, not mine.

              1. Pandoras Box profile image66
                Pandoras Boxposted 8 years agoin reply to this

                So is it also bigoted if I decline to marry a white supremist? Just cuz I wouldn't marry a committed christian doesn't mean I am intolerant or hateful. It means I find their beliefs incompatible with mine, and would not be stupid enough to overlook a relevant fact such as that which would undoubtedly have a large impact on the nature of my life.

                But whatever. Say as you like. I've been around here long enough to see that many people just love to fight over everything. Then they accuse atheists of being ill-mannered, brutish and intolerant.

                roll

                1. Sab Oh profile image54
                  Sab Ohposted 8 years agoin reply to this

                  "So is it also bigoted if I decline to marry a white supremist?"

                  If you are bigoted against white supremecists I would applaud the judgement.

                  " Just cuz I wouldn't marry a committed christian doesn't mean I am intolerant or hateful."

                  It absolutely does mean you are intolerant, and the reasons you yourself supplied certainly suggest you are hateful.


                  " Then they accuse atheists of being ill-mannered, brutish and intolerant."

                  Some are. Wouldn't you agree?

                  1. Shadesbreath profile image84
                    Shadesbreathposted 8 years agoin reply to this

                    Wow, way to grab the English language and crush the meaning out of words, mangling them as you force simple definitions on them to make semantic arguments from the bones.

  8. Rudra profile image70
    Rudraposted 8 years ago

    As long as the other does not try to convert you.

  9. IzzyM profile image89
    IzzyMposted 8 years ago

    I was brought up Protestant but my husband was Catholic (lapsed). We were fine until the children came along and he insisted they all be brought up Catholic which was a problem for me because I didn't understand the significance of the special masses like Communion etc, and felt I had to leave those teachings to him. As a result he became closer to my children than I was.
    Anyway that marriage ended eventually and I'm now going out with a Jew, and I ask myself why can't I find a normal person with my background and education instead of these people from other religions. My problem, I guess. I'm not even religious, but unless both partners are agnostic, I think it's a no-no.

    1. Sab Oh profile image54
      Sab Ohposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      So, people aren't "normal" if they follow a religious tradition different from yours?

      1. IzzyM profile image89
        IzzyMposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Oh I didn't mean it that way...I meant what is normal for you, or for one person. Mixing religions leads to problems somewhere doen the line, that's all. In my case it was children.

        1. Sab Oh profile image54
          Sab Ohposted 8 years agoin reply to this

          Maybe it's the individuals involved who cause problems and religion is a convenient excuse.

          No two people are the same in every way.

  10. Uninvited Writer profile image82
    Uninvited Writerposted 8 years ago

    My parents were of different religions and I think my sisters and I turned out okay. Of course, neither of my parents were overly religious to start with; they sent us to church and Sunday school (Anglican) but rarely came with us. Although, in her early youth my mother had considered becoming a nun...

    When she was not allowed to marry in the church while her sister, who also married a non-Catholic, was allowed to marry in the church because his family were influential, my mother sort of turned away from the church.

  11. Daddy Paul profile image68
    Daddy Paulposted 8 years ago

    My parents were of differing religions. The firestorm was awful.  I would never get serious with a woman who was not a devout Roman Catholic.

  12. profile image43
    spe4842posted 8 years ago

    I feel that it is very important to marry someone of the same religion as yourself. I feel that this has a very big impact on a marriage. Let's face it, if you and your husband have two different religions, how can you possibly raise your children to believe anything. I think kids get confused this way. A house divided against itself cannot stand, this goes for religion, finances, rearing of children, and many other things. It just makes a home more stable. My husband and I are both religious and have raised our four children to be the same.

  13. tony0724 profile image57
    tony0724posted 8 years ago

    I would do so without hesitation. I already was involved in a long term relationship with a Chinese national and she was an absolute sweetheart. I believe in God and JC but consider myself to be more of a spiritual being then a religious one. I love women in General so I do not see ethnicity or religion

  14. pooja0908 profile image62
    pooja0908posted 8 years ago

    According to me marrying or dating with other religion person is not bad if your way of thinking is same and there is a tremendous understanding between you. Ya I know it is not easy for a social person to marry with other religion person but it is all about your whole life. I think you should do what you think not what other think.

  15. megs78 profile image61
    megs78posted 8 years ago

    I married a catholic although i was raised baptist.  the problem we had was logistics.  i couldnt marry in his church without getting a certificate stating that i had followed the teachings of the catholic church, etc.  so we had to go through a course before our weddding and then i was allowed to marry in his church.  now, we certainly have differing views, but the main point is generally the same so compatibility is not really an issue and we don't squabble over it.

  16. Lisa HW profile image64
    Lisa HWposted 8 years ago

    It was a "big, horrible, thing" when my parents (a Protestant and a Catholic) got married in the late 1940's.  I didn't really think that kind of thing is still an issue - although as I think about it, there a some religion I'd rule out as far as a potential partner goes (anything I'd consider too extreme to be "mainstream").

 
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