What would you do if you fell in love with a person who was of a different relig

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   Handicapped Chefposted 11 years ago

   What would you do if you fell in love with a person who was of a different religious background
   
   Random question: Religion. A very touchy subject but, What would you do if you fell in love with a person who was of a different religious background then you. Lets be clear, I'm not talking about ethnicity or culturally, strictly religious background. For instance, you are Christian and they are Muslim? You are Catholic and they are Buddhist? You practice no religion or they don't. So forth and so on. Would you convert? Would you pass on the relationship all together regardless of what you feel? Do you think the relationship would survive drastic differences in the two of you?

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   duffsmomposted 11 years ago

   A tough question. My faith is so much a part of who I am, I doubt I would get close enough to someone of another religious background outside of Christianity to fall in love with them. If I did fall in love with someone of another faith, they would have to know how integral my faith is in my life. No, i would not convert.
   
   Please understand I am not knocking other religious backgrounds but it would be very difficult for me to build a deep relationship with someone with such huge differences in beliefs.

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      Handicapped Chefposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I feel the same way but this is something that happens each and everyday because most people think that religion is not a main factor but is.

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   jlparkposted 11 years ago

   If it was love then the differences would be what make it interesting.
   
   My situation would make it a rocky path to traverse depending on the religion of the partner - being gay doesn't sit well with some less accepting religions or branches of main religions like Islam and Christiainity.
   
   But if it was love - I would support my partner through that what ever the outcome - if they wished to remain with the church we could work through that to make it work. Or if they chose to leave - we could make that work.
   
   My marriage to my wife thankfully does not have this issue - we share ssimilar views to religion - that being each to their own but not for us at the moment. But I believe if it is love it can be worked through with out conversion on either side.

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      Handicapped Chefposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I understand what your saying and that you for being honest about your situation.

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   SidKempposted 11 years ago

   Here's what I did. I married her. I am a human being, and I don't identify with any group smaller than that. But I was raised American Jewish and Bar Mitzvahed. i practice Zen meditation, and I'm an ordained Zen priest. About the same time I began Buddhist meditation I met the woman who is now my wife, and fell in love with her. I decided to marry her, and she agreed.
   
   She is a Christian, raised by two theologians. She is also a professor of Jewish Studies.
   
   One thing that made it easier is that, due to a mystical experience during Buddist  meditation, I added Christianity to my practices. This allowed a marriage in a Christian Church, which was good for her parents. It also made things harder, as I am ordained as a teacher in a Christian tradition often thought to be heretical.
   
   My wife and I like to say that we are a mixed marriage, only no one knows who's which!
   
   Since I also practice yoga from Hinduism and am open to indigenous and Pagan practices, and my wife can teach Islam and writes haiku (a Japanese verse form influenced by Zen), we've pretty got all the world religions covered between the two of us.
   
   Oh, I'm also an engineer, a scientist, an agnostic, and a mystic.
   
   Yes, the relationship has survived the drastic differences. We've been married 28 years, and our marriage is more joyous than ever.
   
   In fact, our differences of religious tradition and affiliation are among the *least* of our problems. It's easy to respect differences; that's part of love.
   
   Our challenges mostly have to do with misunderstanding one another, and I've written three hubs about how we've kept it together and increased the joy: on gratitude, on the 5 love languages, and on the 5 languages of apology.
   
   For a similar story from a couple married about 10 years earlier, read The Shared Heart by Barry and Joyce Vissell.

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      Handicapped Chefposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You wear a lot of hats but you were willing to follow your wife with her religious tradition and that's hard but you two seem to make it work.

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      SidKempposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Not at all. My choice to become Xtian had nothing to do with her. Also, Judaism and Xtianity do not accept conversions for love of a person, as they are not genuine. It worked because our beliefs are not the center of our life. Divine Love is.

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      Handicapped Chefposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      sidkemp....Love is sometimes referred to as being the "international language", overriding cultural and linguistic divisions but that's another subject but A person can be said to love an object, principle, or goal if they value it greatly and are de

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   Marie Flintposted 11 years ago

   True love transcends all. If my other half devotedly attended holy worship services of his preference, I would gladly accompany him. I would always ask him if he'd like to participate in my meditation and prayers. I expect love would be experienced and expressed in all our endeavors, social life, and pasttimes. I was raised Catholic, participated in bhakti yoga and Krisna consciousness, read and meditated on the Dahli Lama,  sang with The First United Methodists, and respect the teachings of Budha. My first daughter served as Kumari at a sacred service and attended preschool conducted by Sufis. Later in life she was baptised by The Latter-Day Saints, whose services and lessons I also attended. I played a Kuan Yin Rosary during my second daughter's birth. An enlightened person who doesn't attend a church service might feel nature is his best relationship to God. I would never judge my loved one's pursuit of inner truth. I confess I have one weakness, though. I love hearing "I love you!"

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      Handicapped Chefposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      But what if he wants you to covert and follow him are you willing to leave everything you believe in to follow him.

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      Marie Flintposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      No problem, Handicapped Chef! You can't leave "everything" because God is omnipresent. --Marie

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   edhanposted 11 years ago

   When it comes to love, religion does not matter. My wife and I are both from different religion and we are happily married.

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      Handicapped Chefposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Edhan that's great but it's plenty of people who love each other and for the reason of religion they won't marry.

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   Mahmoposted 11 years ago

   In Islam for example, the man who is a Muslim can marry a christian woman but his children should become Muslims and in that case the woman is not required to convert to I slam.However the Muslim woman is not allowed to marry a christian man unless he converts to Islam. But no Muslim man or woman is allowed at all to marry an infidel or atheist or apostate.

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      jlparkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Interesting! I didn't know most of that. Infidel tho - they are whom? I always thought they were all non-Muslim but I see I'm wrong.

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      Handicapped Chefposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      This is a tough spot. I attended Islamic classes before so I am kind of aware of the practices, principles and teachings. It is best to know the religion first because once married, your life will revolve around it. To a Muslim, Islam is the absolute

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   WalterPoonposted 11 years ago

   To me, I think it all depends on whether your love for the person is greater than your love for your God. Personally, for me, I think that all religions are mere vehicles to spirituality, but not everybody think likewise. On the contrary, I would think that staunch religious followers treat their religion as an end in itself, and not as a means to an end.
   
   Handicapped Chef, your question seems to suggest that all Christians are the same, or for that matter, all Muslims. But I think there are more non-practising followers than staunch followers in any religion. Non-practising followers may identify themselves with a certain religious group but they are not so dogmatic and easier to live with. For me, because I believe that all religions are mere vehicles to spirituality, I can live with non-practising followers of any religion, but not with those so-called staunched followers.

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   Borsiaposted 11 years ago

   I've dated and had relations with most of the major religions and some of the minors as well. It was never an issue.
   I never try to convert anyone or badmouth their beliefs. I just make it clear that I have none and am not interested in acquiring any.
   My current GF is Catholic and I live in a country that is around 83% Catholic 90% some form of Christian and 5+% Muslim.
   Before moving here to the Philippines I lived in Colombia, 95% Catholic and before that in China almost entirely atheist, only 8.3% claim to believe in some form of gods. In these countries I never felt any animosity.
   I lived in the US for 54 years and ran into intolerance, discrimination and sometimes outright hatred. But the only time it interfered with relations was problems the girls had with their parents or family for dating an atheist.
   I still remember one girl who I was on a debate team with. We became, I thought, fairly good friends and spent quite a bit of time socializing but never had any romantic connection. Then one day she told me that because she is Jewish she could no longer be my friend, "pretty shallow" was the last thing I said to her. She told me that her mother had somehow found out that I'm atheist and forbid her from talking to me,,, even in the debate team.

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    ytsenohposted 11 years ago

    Good question.  I am of the belief that a person becomes aware of attributes and characteristics quickly by asking questions.  I also believe that love comes in different forms and that true love is what a parent feels for his or her child.  I think love is unconditional too.  With acceptance comes respect and understanding...acceptance being an important behavior with anyone's belief system. When intimate relationships are based on a friendship on fire first, that unconditional love blossoms.  True acceptance doesn't invite changing someone, including their belief system and when you try to change someone based solely on your own emotional reflections, then the practice of acceptance becomes somewhat unseen.

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    Larry Wallposted 11 years ago

    I did and then I married her. She was Catholic and I was a Baptist. We had two Catholic priests con-celebrating and my Baptist pastor read some scriptures and said a prayer.
    
    I converted to Catholicism eight years later.

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       Handicapped Chefposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       I do not find fault with the way you went into it  What  you just did was  preach truth  about facts in your life that a man can be converted without any fuss.

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    Deborah Sextonposted 11 years ago

    I was converting anyway but when I met Joel I was even happier to do so. But if I didn't believe being Jewish was the right way I never would have and we wouldn't be married.

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       Handicapped Chefposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       So what religion before you converted.

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       Deborah Sextonposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Church of God-Pentecostal

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    Jaweed Barkataliposted 11 years ago

    I was fallen in love and married with Christian woman. She or anyone of her friends has no influence over me about religion. They have been praying for me and Jesus revealed himself to me and I was shocked. I did not change my mind because I studied or talk to someone. This was miracle of my life. I was transformed instead of reformed.

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    Sunkist123posted 11 years ago

    Past and present, I come from a very religiously-diverse family, and it rarely caused any lack of harmony.  However, I see less and less of basic RESPECT these days-  people insist their way is the only way.
    To answer your question, it would come to:
    1.  Whether or not I considered the person's beliefs/practices to be objectionable, and 2.  Whether or not the individual respected my beliefs/practices.

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