"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde
Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
If someone is continuingly having bad relationships there comes a time when they need to (re-examine their criteria) for selecting a mate!
As long as you keep blaming "them" you are giving away your power. If you're unhappy in a relationship and (choose) to stay then you are by default (choosing) to be unhappy.You are always where you choose to be.
Why do nice guys finish last?
It has more to do with the women they decide to pursue. A lot of women in their youth (not all) go through a "bad boy" phase. They're living the old adage:
"We ignore those who adore us and adore those who ignore us."
Essentially "bad boys" are confident, they're mysterious, they never let women know where they stand with them. This causes them to strive to (earn) his time and attention. Women who chase "bad boys" also are often aware that they are in "competition" with other women. This raises his value. There is an element of excitement or drama always lurking beneath the surface with a "bad boy".
A woman who is in the "bad boy" phase will automatically put "nice guys' in the "friend zone". He's too nice, not a challenge, predictable, and boring.
I've often said you could stick a woman in a room with 5 guys and have 4 of them on their knees extending their heart out towards her while the 5th guy sits in a corner ignoring her as he sips on a cocktail. That will be the guy she wants to get to know!
Fortunately most women cut the "bad boys" loose after several heartbreaks and finally decide to give a "nice guy" a chance. It's (practical decision) not an emotional one. Author Lori Gottlieb wrote a best selling book:
"Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough"
If you were unfortunate enough to marry someone whose heart was not into you and felt no real romantic passion towards you then you might be "Mr. Good Enough". You look good on paper; You treat her well, have a job, provide, and you're stable. You may have sold your soul believing it didn't matter if she was passionate about you or you thought she'd grow to love you the way she did the "bad boy". One day you realize she does love you but she's not "in love" with you!
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or learn to be happy with what we have. Stay or move on. The choice is up to us!