I wouldn't go that route. If my marriage was so bad that I felt I had to have an affair, I'd insist on marriage counseling or, if that didn't work, get a divorce.
NOTHING!! NADA!! I am not even tempted because my husband has made it quite clear that, while he will tolerate anything I dish out, he will not tolerate infidelity and that I would be kicked out of our home so fast that I would not leave skid marks. My husband does not bluff so, if he states that he will divorce me without question, if I have an affair, he means it. My marriage means too much for me; it has been my biggest success to risk it on a side romance, no matter how appealing the other man may be.
There have been a couple of times where I did make inappropriate emotional connections with men and confided things with them that would have been better shared with my husband but that's as far as it went and I now recognize my mistake. But as far as sexual infidelity? No way!
Personally I wouldn't want to have an affair. I'm too lazy when it comes to trying to keep up the various lies needed to keep it a secret. Secondly in the long run it's better to go through the divorce if you're extremely unhappy than to continue to stay and use the affair as a Band-Aid. People have affairs to tolerate their marriage.
Having said that I do understand why many people have them. The goal of most cheaters is to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side. The majority of cheaters aren't looking to (replace) one relationship with another!
Sometimes people don't "proactively" look to cheat on their mates, It may be a situation where a stranger simply treats them special and makes them feel better about themselves. A "secret platonic friendship" develops which eventually leads to sharing one's unhappiness and feeling understood. Much like the emotion of love is often projected on a therapist, teacher, mentor...etc
Not long ago I asked a question on HP: "Is an unhappily married man more likely to cheat or file for divorce?"
Over 90% of the responses said he'd cheat!
Basically the argument is the man would look at the financial cost of going through a divorce, moving out of his home into an apartment/condo, paying child support and possibly alimony, becoming a weekend dad, and breaking the news to family, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances Versus having an affair. From that point of view cheating (seems) a like a better option. Mind you the average cheater does not expect to be caught!
Another question I once asked was: "Is sexual incompatibility enough of a reason to end a marriage?"
(Lack of sex, passion, or romance is often sited as a reason why people cheat)
Once again over 90% of the answers came back as "no". I suspect even cheaters are in agreement with that! In fact mistresses are often warned by their friends: "The husband (never leaves) the wife."
Something tells me if I had asked:
"Would you rather your mate cheat on you or leave you?" Most people would say they'd rather their mate leave them! Essentially it's the same question asked from a different point of view!
by Hui (蕙) 8 years ago
With the progress of human civilization, the growth of humanisnic quality, people tend not to discuss others' privacy, tend not to give any opinions, bad or good, right or wrong to personal lives. However, how should and can we value the ethical bottom line in our daily lives? Whether or not, this...
by plunteclark 13 years ago
my marriage is taking a turn for the worst my husband has treatede me so badly i have no desire forhe has totally isolated me from my familyand friends my life revolves around him he is verbally abusive i find myself feeling like i'm noe in love with him anymore but for some reason he act as if he...
by affairdetector 6 years ago
Having a husband or boyfriend who cheated is a big hit to your self esteem. You begin to doubt your marriage and your ability to make your husband happy or to be enough. And there are tons of old stereotypes which imply that if a man cheats, it’s because his wife doesn’t understand him, he’s...
by MissStoryTeller 8 years ago
So I met up with a couple of friends last weekend and we started talking about the subject line. These are girls from my childhood whom I haven't seen in a while. One of these friends had an arranged marriage recently ... and when I say "arranged marriage" I mean it in the literal sense...
by cdmpls 13 years ago
I felt that it was best because if I felt that guilty it was better to open up to him..
by wifelv 7 years ago
My ex had an affair with married women and they are still together after it all began 3yrs ago. Our divorce was final 3 months ago. They are now living together. I keep waiting for them to get back what they gave out, but it seems to be taking a long time. She will not let him talk with me or see...
Copyright © 2024 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2024 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |