When taking a relationship to the next leval, how long is to long to wait?

1. 58

   Ashley N.E.Dposted 14 years ago

   When taking a relationship to the next leval, how long is to long to wait?
   
   COMMITMENT, is a word that most people want when describing their relationship. Marriage is what we are all looking forward to. But now bf/gf are getting slick, they propse but never set a date. Like tv personality Lala Vasques and Carmelo Anthony, engaged for 5 yrs. What would you do when faced w/ that challenge? Do you move on or sit and wait?

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2. 52

   sophiamartinposted 14 years ago

   I'd have a long, serious talk with them. It sounds like they are pretty comfortable at the level you have achieved. Maybe they don't want to ever go to the next level. But you have to give them a chance to tell you what's going on. There are lots of reasons why someone may not want to marry. They are the only ones who can explain themselves.
   The thing is, if you suspect your partner will say things that sound good but they are shining you on, you have a deeper problem than lack of commitment: lack of trust. If your partner doesn't trust you, or gives you reason not to trust them, the relationship has a core flaw. Once trust is lost, a relationship is irrevocably ruined for me.
   It's hard to give up five years. That's a lot of time and emotion invested. But what can happen is a person will hold on because of that investment, and then more years are invested, and it becomes that much harder to move on.
   Definitely don't sit and wait. Take action. Talk. Evaluate the trust you have in your partner. Be brutally honest with yourself. You know what you need to do.

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3. 0

   jennywhitfieldposted 13 years ago

   there is no time limit just always wait till your comfy and feel its right to take it to the next stage if the other person puts pressure on you then you know they are not worth it because if they genuinely loved you they would wait.  That is the problem with society these days people just bed hop and thats why not many relationships last these days.  I believe lets get back into old fashioned roots where we respect each other and once respect is earned hello next step.

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4. 61

   tbartleposted 13 years ago

   This depends on the couple. Some people are happy to stay at the current 'level'. Others need to progress in order to satisfy one or both people.
   
   Above all else, both people should be ready to move forward before getting to the next level. It's never a good idea to force, trick or request an ultimatum of the one you love.

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5. 60

   HattieMattieMaeposted 13 years ago

   If two people really love each other they should wait forever. Although it is hard and seems like a long drawn out process, I rather know I'm marrying the right person than marrying someone that isn't prepared to my husband.
   We can rush into relationships so fast without even realizing what we are getting into. The longer period of time you get to know a person the better. Sex gets in the way of intimacy and most of the time you end up in lust and temptation for self gratification more than you are in the relationship for actual love and companionship. Most people are just lonely and settle for anyone that comes along instead of waiting for the right person. If you truly love a person and you know they are your soul mate you will wait for as long as it takes them to become a whole and complete person, and at the same time while your waiting you should become that whole person yourself. Loving yourself first is a big key, and if you can't do that you can't love them. A better question to ask would be would you want someone to wait for you, or just decide that you weren't worth waiting for because you werent' ready yet?

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