jump to last post 1-21 of 21 discussions (26 posts)

If you are in a relationship, do you think it is OK to be friends with your exes

  1. SoundNFury profile image82
    SoundNFuryposted 4 years ago

    If you are in a relationship, do you think it is OK to be friends with your exes?

  2. BuffaloGal1960 profile image73
    BuffaloGal1960posted 4 years ago

    No. I don't think it's respectful if you are in a new relationship. It's' too awkward for me.

  3. jstfishinman profile image63
    jstfishinmanposted 4 years ago

    Regardless of whether we want to admit it or not, there were certain things that drew us into relationships with those, that are now our exes. Those same traits make it easy to cheat with exes because our old feelings can spring up on us.
    I have found that clean breaks, though difficult, are the best with exes.
    The other thing I've found is we continue to be drawn to the same type people until we fix us and learn to love ourselves.

  4. Credence2 profile image81
    Credence2posted 4 years ago

    I don't know, it  depends on what type of relationship we are in. Are we going steady?
    Are there plans for engagement? People have been knowm to cordially split recognizing irreconcilable differences, but had no hard feelings. The maturity of the partners involved is a factor. If the woman is not intimidated, I can maintain female friends without compromising my relationship with 'the one'. Jelousy is such a useless emotion, something that I would avoid in my adult relationships

  5. wjlambert profile image76
    wjlambertposted 4 years ago

    I believe that it is fine to be friends with ex's but you have to be sure that your current partner is also fine with it.  As it is with all relationships, communication is key.  Be sure that your current partner is aware of your friendship and that all interactions with the ex or ex's are blatantly platonic.

  6. C.V.Rajan profile image78
    C.V.Rajanposted 4 years ago

    Axing the ex is the best. Else tomorrow one may end up with sex with ex and that may make life too compl'ex'!

  7. jada67 profile image32
    jada67posted 4 years ago

    That is a question of trust and respect. If you are in a relationship with respect trust and honesty, I see nothing wrong with that. I  have been friends with some of my exes for years, there's no more fire burning, it's something once was. A relationship has to be build on totally honesty, if my man trusties me then he knows where I stand...Jada67

  8. alphagirl profile image81
    alphagirlposted 4 years ago

    I think much depends on how long you dated and why it ended. Your new person has to be secure and know that you did indeed end a relationship and that you are not leaving doors open incase you want to go back with your ex.

    I think jealousies arise in situations like that and or perhaps you just can't let go.

    I have always believed that in order to be emotionally committed you can't be clouded mentally with an old ex. It is unfair to your new relationship.

    Friendship may occur if time apart and growth of understanding, but if you are still intimately drawn to your ex even mentally, you are cheating yourself and the new relationship.

  9. rebthomas profile image83
    rebthomasposted 4 years ago

    I think it depends  on the circumstances.  If you have children with your ex than by all means be friends.  If you have no ties then it could make it hard on the new relationship.

  10. jennshealthstore profile image90
    jennshealthstoreposted 4 years ago

    I always say that there should be trust and it should not matter who you are friends with. I know that I could be in a relationship with someone, be friends with my ex with no additional intention but to be friends with my ex, BUT I know that if my current boyfriend was friends with his ex I would not like it. Not because I do not trust him, but we are all human and we are going to feel a little uneasy in situations like that. So I try to think of it as if I was the other person and unless you have children like someone else mentioned, I think it would be best not to be friends with your ex.

  11. Neil Sperling profile image82
    Neil Sperlingposted 4 years ago

    It is totally 100% okay to be friends with ex's..... there is way to much judgments and jealousy in this world.... it is time for mankind to grow up and realize life is all about change, acceptance of what was and happiness in the moment with an eye on what you want to create your life to be.
    For the kids sake (if there are any) being friends will give them a sense of stability they can not get otherwise.
    I only wish my ex thought like I do, as my kids would have had me in their life as it should be.
    Just because you broke up - it should have NO bearing at all on today. I takes maturity..... nothing more!

  12. cebutouristspot profile image74
    cebutouristspotposted 4 years ago

    I think its ok but its a case to case basis and how mature your ex, your current and yourself.

    I always believe that you must first be friends with the person you have a relationship with smile but that just me

  13. ZRMoore profile image83
    ZRMooreposted 4 years ago

    No, I don't think that it's ok for a friendship to remain between exes. The reason for that is that one of them will have or either develop feelings beyond a friendship. Then this will ultimately create problems for you. If that person wants to remain friends with their ex then they shouldn't be in  a relationship. The whole situation is disrespectful to the other person.

  14. DDE profile image26
    DDEposted 4 years ago

    It doesn't always work out being friends with an ex  but depending on  you and your partner if you both agree  it shouldn't be a problem, trust is key but can be complicated if  one  is seeing too much of the Ex. As fine as it may seem things can go astray

  15. lburmaster profile image82
    lburmasterposted 4 years ago

    Only if your boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance/husband is alright with it. You need to keep your ex at an arms length. It is possible to keep them as friends. But if your partner isn't okay with it, then you should have a talk with your partner and fix the situation.

  16. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 4 years ago

    This question often comes up when one person is fine with being friends with their exes and their mate is unhappy with it. One tries to convince the other that their way of thinking is "wrong" or insecure.
    The truth is there is no "right' or "wrong". There is only "agree" and "disagree". Ultimately everyone is seeking to be with someone who (naturally agrees) with them on what they consider the major things in life. If someone does not want to be in a relationship with a person who stays connected with their exes then they have the option to find someone else who feels the same way as they do. Very simple!
    The only other alternative is stay upset with your mate because they don't agree with you. This may cause the person with the exes as friends to simply take their activity "underground" which surly will cause more trust issues to be raised. The only person you can control is yourself. You choose your own friends, lovers, and spouse.
    There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Only you can decide if it's a "deal breaker".

  17. edhan profile image61
    edhanposted 4 years ago

    Yes. It should be okay in my opinion. Breaking up with your exes do not mean that you can't be friends as long as you remember to treat them as ones.

  18. AMAZING THINKER profile image61
    AMAZING THINKERposted 4 years ago

    Sure, there is no rule which says otherwise. just don't invite them to your wedding.

  19. Express10 profile image89
    Express10posted 4 years ago

    I don't believe so for the simple fact that you are exes for a reason, it didn't work out. I'm friendly when I see an ex but there is not going to be communication online or off. If you're in a relationship, being friends with an ex usually complicates things and often leads to mistrust and hurt feelings when you're in a relationship. I wouldn't want this to be done to me, I make that clear and I make it clear that I expect the same. If the other party doesn't agree then that's a deal breaker for me. There are many people who are okay with it and many who are not, I guess it's a matter of finding the one for you who agrees with your view about this.

  20. IDONO profile image82
    IDONOposted 4 years ago

    It sounds extremely risky to me. How would you handle that? Would you go out of your way to keep your current partner and ex apart as to look as if you were hiding something from one or both? Or would you take the chance of your current partner and your ex becoming friends also? If so, you had better be squeaky clean because once they would start comparing notes, you would probably end up with 2 exes.
         If you and your ex are really on friendly terms, than he or she would understand that a continued friendship could easily complicate the relationship you are currently in and nothing good can come of that. Your current relationship has a future. Your ex is , well, an ex. If one of you can't agree on this, one of you has more than a friendship in mind.

    1. Express10 profile image89
      Express10posted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I couldn't agree more, well said.

    2. ZRMoore profile image83
      ZRMooreposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I completely agree with you on this one. I don't understand how people can say they're ok with this situation.

    3. IDONO profile image82
      IDONOposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      ZR. They are people that didn't think it through and how this could open a can of worms. On the surface, it kinda seems OK. But when you look at all the "what ifs", it doesn't sound so perfect. Actually, the whole idea sounds pretty selfish, u think?

    4. ZRMoore profile image83
      ZRMooreposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      IDONO - It definitely sounds selfish to me. This is a person trying to have their cake and eat it too. This really defeats the purpose of being in a relationship if you ask me. What person wants their new BF/GF ex hanging around?

    5. IDONO profile image82
      IDONOposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      They may keep their present and ex hanging around for something to do when person number 3 is busy with their husband or wife. I feel a soap opera comin' on!

  21. Toytasting profile image70
    Toytastingposted 4 years ago

    I guess it is not okay to be friends with your exes. It further adds to the complexities, one ends up screwing their present relationship because of the previous ones. It is better to focus only on the present relationship, with maintaining no connection with the exes.

 
working