"Wait and see attitude" in a relationship

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   d'writerposted 13 years ago

   Is it possible for a relationship if you instill that "wait and see" attitude in your relationship? Don't get me wrong, I do love the person, he betrayed my trust and asked for forgiveness, for another chance. He's proving himself so far but since he betrayed my trust not just once, I have to be cautious this time. I can't fully trust him now and he knows that and he's trying his best to make up, but still he's not perfect to live with my expectations this time and it leads us to a fight sometimes. At times I just wanted to set him free so that I can move on and let go of this seed of doubt that he have created inside me, but my heart says otherwise, so I have been brooding over this idea to just stay in the relationship with him and develop the "wait and see" attitude with him. Of course I won't tell him about this, I will just try my very best not to expect from him, not to demand from him and just let him do whatever that makes his day and do my own thing too. If he is around, that's good, if he's not, I just don't mind.

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      classicalgeekposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I can tell you that in the Victorian era and earlier, young women were encouraged to have the "wait and see" attitude. Young women did not see any one suitor exclusively unless an offer of marriage had been made or was forthcoming.
      
      Take that for what that's worth for you. I hope it does you some good.

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         d'writerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you for your reply.
         
         Should I take this as something like I should still keep my door open for other possibilities...?

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   Eaglekiwiposted 13 years ago

   Wait and see coupled with sincere action
   
   History and behaviour is whats important (IMO)
   
   It takes time to be trust again ,and the person who caused the breakdown of that trust must be willing to take the time to build it back up again. That is what is meant by 'new history'.
   
   If he/she is serious ,you will know.
   If he/she is not serious you will know that too.
   
   Question will then be 'What do you want to happen' and Do you have a timeline for this to happen (or see improvement)
   
   Just dont keep waiting without a plan.
   
   Best wishes

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      d'writerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you, I do have a plan for this and it's now written as my guide, and do have time table too...

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         Eaglekiwiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Good girl-To Your best Life

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            d'writerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Thank you and wish you the best in life too

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   rebekahELLEposted 13 years ago

   I would. A relationship with doubt, for good reason, is hard. I guess this depends on both of you and what you mean to each other. I think sometimes we place more focus on the relationship itself rather than the person. You will know if he is sincere. But we tend to see what we want to see. Good luck.

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