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Loving someone with a criminal past

  1. iamnotaflirt profile image60
    iamnotaflirtposted 4 years ago

    I chose such a heavy topic for my first post! I hope it doesn't put anyone off but this is a fact of my life and it has been for more than half of my years.
    My first boyfriend is also my current boyfriend.  In the 20+ years we have known each other there have been babies born (not with each other), marriage started and ended (not to each other), countless moves, loss of loved ones, loss of contact (with each other)... But at least for me, the love I have for him has been a constant in my life.  The men who chose to be with me for longer relationships always knew this, that there was someone else in my heart before them and that space wasn't up for grabs. Maybe you think that's not exactly fair but to me it is possible to love more than one person at a time, I mean, we can love more than one child at a time as a parent.  So, here he has been, hanging out in the depths of me, tugging on me from time to time.  Never was it the right time for us both... Either I was ready but he wasn't or he was ready and I wasn't... Until about six months ago when I uprooted my family once again and we decided to give this thing another shot. 
    I knew he had baggage.  Hell, we ALL have baggage.  I just didn't realize the full extent of the amount of bags and how friggin heavy they were gonna be!  However, this love is different, I am different (than what I would call the average woman) and so I pushed through.  I started to see the things that I didn't know over those 20+ years I had mentioned... The things he didn't want me to know about him, the things he thought would disappoint me. The things he thought would make me stop caring for him and leave, just like everyone else in his life had done.  What he didn't realize, and still doesn't allow himself to see, is that I love him unconditionally.  Without judgement, without ultimatums, without prejudice.  I see his heart, I can read his soul.  The things he has done are done... In the past... Can't be changed.  Who he is inside and who he wants to be going forward are the things that matter to me.  I can always forgive mistakes.  I can't ever find another love like what I find in him.
    Call me naive, call me stupid, call me whatever you want.  The world needs more love, more kindness, more second chances. I'll be waiting for him when all his self-induced smoke clears, with a clean towel and open arms.  If I can prove to just one person that this kind of love conquers all, then I've followed my path.

    1. galleryofgrace profile image82
      galleryofgraceposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      You need to get a blog- this is a writers and authors forum!

      1. iamnotaflirt profile image60
        iamnotaflirtposted 4 years agoin reply to this

        A few things here... I find that the best way to relate in life is through sharing personal experience. If my writing style is not to your liking, don't read what I post. Also, this was intended to be an advice article presented in a relatable blog-style. Seeing as I mentioned up front that this is my first share, I had expected a bit more objectivity and a lot less cynicism. However, thank you for opening my eyes and helping me to learn that some people just live to criticize and cannot be creative outside the box. Have a nice day.

        1. peeples profile image93
          peeplesposted 4 years agoin reply to this

          I may be wrong but I don't think gallery was being rude. This is a writers site and it is normal for others to correct you when you come in and put something they don't feel "belongs". I personally write about personal stuff in hubs and tie it in with other things. I think what you wrote here would be great if put into a hub and  expanded on a little bit. Telling you it belongs on a blog isn't an insult. It is quite often here that people simply don't know that this site is not for personal writings unless they are either poetry or tied into an informative hub. With that said those rules don't apply to the forums. Look around and you will see personal all over the majority of threads. You'll figure that out all along the way. Good Luck and welcome to HP!

          1. iamnotaflirt profile image60
            iamnotaflirtposted 4 years agoin reply to this

            Now, THAT was well-stated and appropriate.  Thank you!

        2. galleryofgrace profile image82
          galleryofgraceposted 4 years agoin reply to this

          My reason for making my statement is that so many new writers come in here and post in the forums because they don't realize thats not where you put your writing.
          "iamnotaflirt" has been here 2 years but does not have any hubs! I think thats because she keeps putting it in the forums instead of making hubs OR all her hubs have been removed for being personal so she;s trying to write anyway  by putting it in the forums.
          She doesn't ask for advice so she's sharing her personal life.
          If she doesn't want to make hubs there are hundreds of other sites where she can write.

          1. Soul Man Walker profile image60
            Soul Man Walkerposted 4 years agoin reply to this

            New writers? There are so many wannabes on HubPages who consider it a great accomplishment to hang around this content farm without making any money for a long time. If you were the accomplished writer whose part you are playing in today's summer camp skit, you wouldn't be all haughty about your HubPages citizenship.

            She is a better writer than you!

        3. psycheskinner profile image81
          psycheskinnerposted 4 years agoin reply to this

          This is not about liking ot not liking your style.  This is a forum.  You seem to be using it as a blog.

  2. Soul Man Walker profile image60
    Soul Man Walkerposted 4 years ago

    What's with the snarky back and forth? Is that how you think real writers relate to each other? Any fool can sign up and start slinging words at the search engine on HubPages.

    Now this person had a personal issue she felt like sharing in "Gender and Relationships". If it is not inappropriate to start a thread by asking advice about what kind of lesbian cake topper to get for a wedding, then why is it inappropriate to bring up this subject?

    1. galleryofgrace profile image82
      galleryofgraceposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      There are also trolls and troublemakers with low scores and those who create new accounts after being banned! right?

      1. Soul Man Walker profile image60
        Soul Man Walkerposted 4 years agoin reply to this

        Low scores? OMG! I need to keep my Hub score up or I might die!

        Grace?

    2. psycheskinner profile image81
      psycheskinnerposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      She wasn't asking for advice.

      1. Soul Man Walker profile image60
        Soul Man Walkerposted 4 years agoin reply to this

        I think you have missed the point entirely. Actually.there is an appeal for advice, or did you miss that, too.

 
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