Are women paying their fair share today?

1. 76

   Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years ago

   Men in the past paid for most everything in the household, including the house. They brought home the bacon, so to speak. In today's world, women also bring home their share of the bacon. This is one reason why daycares are thriving.
   Is this true for most/many/any women, or not?
   
   Focusing on a wider view of todays's world: Does the child suffer when mom has to work outside of the home since she must help make house payments? I think, yes. (At least have enough money set aside until the child is two and a half.)

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      wildernessposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Can't see it makes a lick of difference who brings home the most folding green.  There are many other, non-monetary contributions that are necessary for a home, from mowing the lawn to doing laundry to child care.  More, I would say, than monetary. 
      
      The real question is does the woman contribute their share or making a home and in general the answer would be yes.  Neither men nor women as a group are sluggards, unwilling to fulfill their end of the bargain.

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      1. 76

         Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         ...way to end a forum.

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         1. 94

            wildernessposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            LOL  Sometimes it happens that way.

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      2. 48

         Ericdierkerposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         I think that in general the answer is no. Why? Because the modern working mother is pulled just pulled too danged hard in too many directions. This diminishes her ability to be a hearty wage earner and saps her time from being a good mother. I think men are wired a little more toward the task at hand. Often to a point of seemingly not caring about one thing when they are doing another. Whereas the opposite is true of a mother. I do not think we have socially evolved to eliminate that consequence.

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            Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            no to what?
            and what consequence?

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            1. 48

               Ericdierkerposted 10 years agoin reply to this

               Uh, no to the question??? The consequence of the women being stretched to thin to contribute a fair share. Including money and childcare.

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               1. 76

                  Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

                  so, women generally *do* not pay their fair share, money wise.
                  or *can* not?

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                  1. 48

                     Ericdierkerposted 10 years agoin reply to this

                     Certainly they can. But at what other costs? So no generally they still do not thank God. Two wage earners is ok. Two career oriented folks should not have children. One of them has to give. Generally it is the woman. So she does not contribute a fair share money wise. In my house we are lucky. I have reached my career and I can give, so much of the rearing is in my hands. And my wife who is younger can pursue her career.

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                     1. 76

                        Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

                        Yes, you are very lucky!  (And the relationship you have with your son sounds awesome, from your other posts.).

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2. 76

   Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years ago

   okay fine... but who gets the short end of the stick? The poor child ripped away from his mother to be put in Daycare. Men nowadays depend on the woman to bring in the folding green, it seems.

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   1. 94

      wildernessposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Couples depend on women to bring in the folding green.  Along with men.
      
      It is one reason bankruptcy is so common - did you know that it is much more common for a two earner family to go bankrupt than for a 1 earner (two parent) family?  Even given that there are far more of the two earner families?
      
      And, just as you say, it is the children that most often pay the price for the family to have more toys.

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      1. 76

         Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks for this info. I believe that IS more common for a two income family to go bankrupt.

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3. 76

   Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years ago

   ...are women paying more than their fair share: Money-wise and Contributing to-the-house/home-upkeep wise. (I am so surprised no women have responded by now. How come not a peep?)
   I know a woman who must drive a bus every day of the week. She comes home and does everything for her family. I mean everything. She can't not do it... even though I point out to her what she is doing.  They contribute little and appreciate less. They have come to expect it. She has to keep it up, or as she explained to me WWIII will break out.
   Wow!
   Another scenario: I know a man who has gallantly explained that once the baby has arrived, he will work full time for a year!
   Wow!

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4. 76

   Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years ago

   Women: Why do you not respond? Is this a touchy subject? Is is a rude question? What?

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5. 76

   Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years ago

   Dear Ms. Hill
   All is fine out here in society. Common sense and the natural way is in full swing. Most women are lucky enough to stay home with their children while their husbands work.  When we wish to go back to work, our daycares and preschools do a fine job and all is well. Do not worry about us. We will be fine.

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   1. 76

      Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Well,  G o o d ! !

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6. 62

   Alphapxposted 10 years ago

   It is true. You are emphasizing the true virtue of women today. However, I still see countries like Korea that women are less paid compared to men. Why in the world would they do that?

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   1. 76

      Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Interesting.

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7. 76

   aliasisposted 10 years ago

   I'm sensing some internalized misogyny, Captain.
   
   Women are more than paying their fair share. They still aren't treated equally in the US, or completely in any other country - though many countries are better off than we are. Check out the Global Gender Gap Report of 2012 and you'll find that the US only ranks 22nd worldwide in women's equality - in terms of, for example, equal pay, equal representation, equal healthcare, etc.
   
   I was very fortunate growing up - my mother is a professional with a doctorate and always made more money than my father. She was an amazing role model for me, just to see how hard she worked to get where she wanted to be - even though it was tough for her. Nope, I didn't suffer for going to daycare - instead, I was taught to be more independent, help out with housework (and my brothers, too, just in case you're hoping this is sexist) and of course our parents always had time for us. My mother is a hero to me, and definitely the kind of mother I want to be - smart, professional, equal to her husband (okay, financially superior, but who's counting?) and a great mother who could balance family, too.
   
   My personal anecdote.

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8. 0

   PrettyPantherposted 10 years ago

   Perhaps not many women have replied because this is a discussion that was had in earnest about 30 years ago?  I'm with aliasis in detecting a bit of misogyny. 
   
   Both men and women are responsible for the well being of children and the household.  How they divvy that up between them is their own business.

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   1. 48

      Ericdierkerposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Not so fast PrettyPanther, it is my business when they are so dysfunctional as to send bullies and violence out of their home and into my life. Too many households divvy it up alright - into making money and ignoring - not the children - but their responsibilities to them.

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         aliasisposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         Eric - Unfortunately, how you raise your child has nothing to do with a mother having no job. Bullies existed even when it was the norm for women to stay home. They get so much attention today because we've finally realized it's a problem we have to stop, not "kids just being kids". Sure, a lot of parents are bad parents and neglect their kids, but there isn't a correlation between that and one parent staying home. In my experience, single moms often do all the housework and home responsibilities, instead of having their kids learn how to do it themselves, depriving them of necessary life skills. Kids don't need - perhaps even shouldn't have - a parent holding their hand 24/7. Not that a parent should work all the time - and that applies to men and women - but finding a balance between work and home life is very important.

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         1. 48

            Ericdierkerposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            Awesome points friend. Quite true kids need space and to learn to take care of things. Critical. My mom's absence was great for me. And I think if she were around more in my adolescence --- I do not know if either would have survived.
            About the bullies of the past --- yes, probably because either their mom or dad was a bully. Probably holds true today. Thanks for adding your thoughts to my learning.

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               aliasisposted 10 years agoin reply to this

               No problem, thanks for listening to my side.

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      aliasisposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Haha if this were like, ANY other website I would've thought OP was a troll. This isn't the 1960s anymore, kids.

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9. 62

   Alphapxposted 10 years ago

   Of all the good things about women working to provide more to the family, I still believe that a woman should stay at home taking care of the family and man should work hard to provide to his family.

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   1. 76

      Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      This really is the ideal... if only the women could be content. However, women enjoy having a career and a family. They want it all. They are getting it all. Time will tell if the kids (and the men) are happy.

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10. 76

    Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years ago

    Topic 1: I brought this topic forward because some guys in a forum discussion were being old school chauvinistic. I couldn't believe my eyes.  They were joking around of course, but I took the defense. Of course, in all actuality, women have been paying their fair share for a long time. I felt the men needed to be reminded, I guess.
    
    Topic 2: I do think women need to stay home and take care of their little ones at least until they are 2 1/2, if that can be at all arranged. Some grandmothers live with the family and are willing to take care of the infant while mom works. Thats great, but just remember the child needs to truly bond with at least one adult or he will become angry and unhappy.

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