In a marriage, does the man (husband) have to be the main money earner?

1. 78

   Treasuresofheavenposted 14 years ago

   In a marriage, does the man (husband) have to be the main money earner?
   
   Does it matter if the husband or wife is the breadwinner -- main income earner?

   replyreport
2. 0

   ssaulposted 14 years ago

   of course not time has evolved so much that men are staying home and take care  of the kids and do the chores while women work

   replyreport
3. 74

   bogerkposted 14 years ago

   I don't think so. I would have no problem with my wife making more money than me

   replyreport
4. 61

   MickSposted 14 years ago

   Marriage is a partnership with everything shared, if couples start looking at who earns what, they really need to analyse their relationship, something is wrong.

   replyreport
5. 68

   Tusitala Tomposted 14 years ago

   I guess it depends on a number of things: How the two people in the marriage, or partnership,  feel about it being the main thing.   
   
   Over the past few decades - at least in many 'Westernized' societies -  it is deemed largely acceptable for a woman to earn as much or more than her husband.   
   
   However, you need to remember that cultures change slowly and often painfully.   Even in the West, there are still a great many who believe a woman's place is in the home.
   
   But as I said at the outset.   The two people who have to make the decision on this one are the man and woman concerned.  It is their life, afterall.

   replyreport
6. 71

   onegoodwomanposted 14 years ago

   It matters to the MAN.
   
   Women dismiss it, men do not.

   replyreport
7. 62

   wingedcentaurposted 14 years ago

   I should say not. The man can be a stay-at-home dad. I think, though, if the woman is to be the main money earner the man really should pick up the slack when it comes to the housework and hands-on rearing of the children.
   
   As you know, as is usually the case when both the man and woman work outside the home, it is still the woman who handles the bulk of the housework (even if she earns far more money than her husband) -- this is a state of affairs is what some economists, I hear, refer to as the woman's double shift.
   
   There are many who say that women will never actually achieve equality in the workplace until there is equality in the home, and I think that's right.
   
   Take it easy.

   replyreport
8. 68

   Abbasangelposted 14 years ago

   No but as they will never have nine months pregnant or push out a baby a two, I think it would be wise if they were, unless he was able to look after the children and take sick days instead of you when dealing with terrible case of morning sickness, which in that case, do as you please.
   
   Also the other issues is, with time off taken by women during pregnancy and child rearing, they loose a lot of money in superannuation.
   
   But again the husband doesn't have to be the main money earner, however what else will he do to keep himself feeling "worthwhile" or whatever it is that does drive them to work. Unless of course he has lots of hobbies or something. There is a lack of stimulation when raising children and women always complain of it that they didn't have a decent conversation with anybody today. I think this is a bigger question that it seems at the start with a lot more factors to consider than I originally thought.
   
   For part of our marriage I was the main income earner, while my husband studied and then consequently looked for work.

   replyreport
9. 61

   ArefinShamsposted 14 years ago

   it doesn't matter for me if my wife earns more than me

   replyreport
10. 73

    dragonlady1967posted 14 years ago

    I don't think it matters any longer, like it did in the 1950's.  Today a household has to have at least two incomes to substain any quality of life (like making sure the mortgage is paid, and bills don't pile up).  I think it depends on what type of work the man or woman does.  Most men do get paid more for what they do, however women are catching up at incredible paces.  I would not be offended if my man made more than I did.  In return I also know he would not be offended if I made more than him.

    replyreport
11. 69

    Smaridge01posted 14 years ago

    Absolutely.... NOT.
    
    Marriage, by definition in my mind, is a partnership, and should be an EQUAL partnership. So it should NOT matter who brings home the bacon or the bread or whatever. It matters more that both partners go with the flow, and support each other, and are willing to pick up the slack and keep things fair and equal.

    replyreport
12. 81

    Wayne Brownposted 14 years ago

    It really depends on the personalities and security levels of those involved in the marriage. We absorb so much into our own ways by observing our parents as we grow up...moreso that even we know.  If that is the traditional role that a man or woman was exposed to, then it may well be built into their subconscious expectations.  With a man, if that is the case, and he does not turn out to be the person bringing in the most money, psychologically he feels like a failure.  A woman raised in the environment may have that expectation of her husband and when it does not evolve, she may see him as a failure.  In a strong marriage where two people share the same vision, it really does not matter where the money comes from as long as they are living out their shared dreams of life.  In today's world, one never knows where opportunity will show up and most of us live in two-income homes by necessity in today's expensive world thus we really have better things to worry about than who makes the most money...just be thankful they do! WB

    replyreport
13. 0

    akycrawlerposted 14 years ago

    Both partners in a marriage should respect eachother and love oneanother no matter who earns more. Besides, who makes the rules that says we have to do one thing or another anyway. You dont have to follow oldschool ways of living with your parter, rather concentrate on both being happy.

    replyreport
14. 69

    Karen Wodkeposted 14 years ago

    I think whatever works best for each couple's particular situation is the way to go. I knew a couple where the roles were reversed because she made better money. So he stayed home, took care of the house, and supervised the kids. He didn't do any real housework; they hired a cleaning woman. But he did the cooking, the laundry, taking the kids to soccer, etc. and just managed things around the house in general. It seemed to work well for them.

    replyreport
15. 60

    twobmadposted 14 years ago

    I think it has to do with the capability of either side of the partners (husband and wife). The best couple that I have ever seen are most complementing each other.

    replyreport
16. 60

    TheRaptorClawposted 14 years ago

    No it does not matter. The woman can earn just as much money as the man. But it is not a competition and if it turned into one, it would likely ruin the relationship.

    replyreport
17. 60

    GetFitRightposted 14 years ago

    Absolutely not. I do believe that it is important for either the husband or wife to be at home at least part time especially when you have kids. Therefore that person can take care of the home this will help keep everyone happy and not stressed by having to come home to more work. When you have kids I believe they need at least one parent home a lot with them otherwise they are raised by strangers, obviously in this world of single parents and a bad economy it is not always a possibility.

    replyreport
18. 56

    getpositivereviewposted 14 years ago

    I don't think so...everything is shared in a marriage

    replyreport
19. 54

    ejovwovincentposted 14 years ago

    yes the should be the main money earner.

    replyreport
    1. 58

       ReneeDC1979posted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Interesting ejovwovincent.  Why do you feel that way?  I wrote a hub about this question after I answered it.  What do you think?
       http://reneedc1979.hubpages.com/hub/Who … more-money

       replyreport
20. 60

    Bel Marshallposted 14 years ago

    In today's economy it's not as easy as it once was to send a man off to work while the woman stays home, also I think men are more involved in home life than they once were.
    Marriage is a partnership and if both parties pull together to make it work then why should it matter who makes more money?
    Secure men do not feel threatened by a woman who earns a good living and in turn a strong woman does not need a man to pay her bills and take care of her.
    In a good marriage, both parties share in all responsibilities of the relationship from child rearing to bringing in the income.  How they balance that is up to them but I do believe the stereotypes of the 50's are starting to fall by the wayside.

    replyreport
21. 61

    ExpertCLBposted 14 years ago

    What is this...1923?
    
    A woman has an exactly equal right to be an earner for her family.
    
    Women are equal and, sometimes, superior!

    replyreport
22. 48

    kiwi45posted 14 years ago

    no he doesn't.........................................

    replyreport
23. 58

    seocompanyhavenposted 14 years ago

    I guess, This is old tradition
    Today is XXI century and as for me, both have to carry about family budget

    replyreport
24. 61

    The-Lposted 14 years ago

    I think that there's no difference now, of course husband ego can be bowed because of that. It always used to be this way, that a husband earns money, and his wife monitors the house...

    replyreport
25. 68

    Hideki-ryugaposted 14 years ago

    Well, it depends on how you look at it. In eastern cultures, think middle east, India, China and others, it is the duty of a husband to work and bring bread for his family. In other cultures, it doesn't. But for any successful couple, regardless of cultural backgrounds and personal beliefs, the main income earner should never be determined by gender if mutual understanding, love and respect weigh more than anything else.

    replyreport
26. 68

    kirutayeposted 14 years ago

    For some men, it is important that they are the main breadwinners. It is best if the woman knows this about their man before getting married. Otherwise it could cause problems later.

    replyreport
27. 66

    FabLiz86posted 14 years ago

    No.  Each relationship is different.  Both partners' feelings and needs should be taken into consideration.  In our modern world where it is very difficult financially it is not practical to be overly concerned about who earns more.

    replyreport
28. 61

    vietnamvet68posted 14 years ago

    no, not at all. I was a military man and my wife had a degree and was making much more than I was or ever did. I see nothing wrong with that.

    replyreport
29. 28

    gajendra1983posted 14 years ago

    Yes . But if wife ready to make money also no prob.

    replyreport
30. 61

    womenintouchposted 14 years ago

    No the man does not have to be the main money earner. That would be nice but today it does nto always work that way. If you find that perfect person you should not allow who makes the most money to be your reason for not getting married. You will need to talk this over and know for sure this individual is everything you are looking for. He/she should be aware of spending habits for this could cause problems. Ask the necessary questions and be prepared to discuss them openly.
    When i got married I was makeing twice as much as my husband and that was not ever a worry in my mind. What i was focused on was how much i loved my husband. We have been married for one year and have never had a money issue. Working together towards the same goal is whqt keeps a marriage strong not who makes the most money

    replyreport
31. 0

    dennahposted 14 years ago

    Not really. Both partners should support each other fully and if the man is jobless, why should the wife not provide

    replyreport
32. 48

    awrposted 14 years ago

    no it should depend on the work they have

    replyreport
33. 0

    Butch Newsposted 14 years ago

    Definitely no.  It's time for people to grow up and give up ideas that a man is, somehow, the provider.
    
    In the animal world the female is more often the provider.  Just look at lions.

    replyreport
34. 78

    Treasuresofheavenposted 14 years ago

    Thanks for all of your contributions.  Your responses are very interesting and lively.  Let me hear some more thoughts, take your stand on this topic today!

    replyreport
35. 72

    Iontachposted 14 years ago

    Ha ha! I think with men, if they aren't the main earners they feel as if they are less of a man and it takes their manhood away...but hey if they wife makes more money what can you do...she's hardly going to quit her job, so the man will have to get over it.

    replyreport
36. 58

    ReneeDC1979posted 12 years ago

    Great question Treasuresofheaven and nice name.  I don't think the amount of money either one makes should matter.  Being someone who was formerly unemployed and no mate to help with the finances, I wouldn't care which one of us made the bread as long as the bills are paid on time, we are happy with each other and enjoying life.  I think money is a major problem in alot of relationships because we are such a materialistic world.  We focus on the wrong things.  For whatever reason, some men feel emasculated because their women makes more money.  But, why?  If it's coming into the household who cares.  And some women use that as a reason to treat their men like crap.  But, why?  Like they say money is the root of all evil.  It is interesting how a piece of paper, cause that's all it is has so much power and control over us, our lives, our behaviors and perspectives.

    replyreport