Why is everyone running to the internet to meet people?

1. 75

   realtalk247posted 10 years ago

   Do you realize that you could meet your next wife/husband or next best friend when you simply say hello?  Why are people so afraid to approach someone?  If you get rejected then that's the other person's lost.  If they decline your invitation to exchange information maybe they are dating someone or are engaged in a committed relationship already. No harm, no foul.   Why do people over analyze situations sssoooo much? 
   
   I have known male friends that sit back and run 5 million scenarios in their head about an approach when all they had to do is complement the lady of interest, determine if she's engaged, and move along from there or proceed forward.  Simple.  I'm just saying, there are so many single people that could meet great people but everyone would rather be afraid/shy and miss opportunities.

   replyreport
   1. 70

      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      It's not about where you meet but (whom) you meet that counts!
      The same people one might meet online also go to the beach, parks, malls, grocery store, theatre, coffee shops, nightclubs,take classes, and church.
      
      Online dating is nothing more than having (another option) to meet people. Eventually using new technology gets embraced. I recall when people swore up and down they'd never make an online purchase using their credit cards. Now everyone I know has bought something online or made flight and hotel reservations using their credit cards.
      
      Whenever something catches on it's usually because of two things.
      1. It's convenient and 2. It's cost effective
      
      The vast majority of people who use online dating also have done or continue to do offline dating.
      One of the attractions of online dating is people join in order to meet other people! Someone may be in a grocery store whom you find attractive but they have no interest in meeting anyone.
      
      Rejection takes place online just as it does offline. Not everyone says "yes" to someone who approaches them online! However it does appear that (women) are far more likely to approach a man online than they would offline.
      
      There is a wider selection of people to meet online. If one lives in a large metropolitan area there is a good chance they might never meet someone on the other side of town if it weren't for them being online.
      
      Lastly if one is very busy professional working a lot of hours or possibly in their late 30s, 40s, or 50s odds are they're not going to have time or the energy to be out on the prowl looking for a potential mate. They also don't want to waste time (hoping) for a "coincidence" or "chance" meeting.
      
      No one wants to be 40 years old standing in line waiting to get into a nightclub or counting on their friends/family to introduce them to someone.
      Online dating is a "pro-active" way for one to take charge of their search.
      Naturally not all online dating sites are NOT equal so it pays to do some research. And just as with offline dating there are some liars and cheaters online as well. One should always use good commonsense when meeting strangers no matter how you meet them.
      Having options is never bad in my opinion.

      replyreport
2. 60

   Zelkiiroposted 10 years ago

   It's the easiest way imaginable to find small pockets of people who enjoy the same things you do. Thus, the people you'd really want to associate with are all conveniently in one place.

   replyreport
3. 70

   AshtonFireflyposted 10 years ago

   I found my fiance online. The reason I used the internet was my social outings were very limited and quite frankly I am a much better communicator in writing than I am in person. I can communicate my personality ten times quicker through an email than I can in 50 dates with someone. I feel it's actually more fair to the other person that way.

   replyreport
   1. 0

      Motown2Chitownposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I met my husband online also.  By the time we met in person six days later, we had communicated more of ourselves to each other than many people have the opportunity to do in years of personal acquaintance.

      replyreport
4. 81

   FatFreddysCatposted 10 years ago

   I met my wife in the "real world," and  was always skeptical about the idea of online dating leading to "real" relationships, but a  good friend met his wife online and they've been married almost as long as my wife and I.
   Soooo....whatever works for ya, I guess.

   replyreport
5. 78

   psycheskinnerposted 10 years ago

   Why not use the internet?  Whatever works for people.

   replyreport
6. 75

   realtalk247posted 10 years ago

   Sounds great that some people have found computer love.  I just wonder why it seems that people are unable to strike up a conversation when they are interested in meeting someone they are attracted to face to face. Curious

   replyreport
   1. 70

      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I think it's always been that way even before online dating existed!
      
      Some people are very shy when it comes to approaching strangers.
      Having said that I believe the vast majority of people still continue to meet and date others "offline" even if they also have an online account.
      
      A lot of people are more comfortable getting to know someone overtime before approaching them for a date. This happens often in high school, college, and at work. Meetup.com is a site for those types of people. It's not a "dating site" but rather a site that lists tons of groups containing likeminded people who meet  based upon their hobbies and interest.
      
      They have everything from wine tasting, hiking, meditation, yoga, dancing, writing, theater goers, professional networking, and some singles groups as well. People are able to become more familiar with each other gradually.

      replyreport
      1. 75

         realtalk247posted 10 years agoin reply to this

         Cool. Just wondering dashingscorpio how can you determine someone's personality from photo only?  Curious.

         replyreport
         1. 0

            Motown2Chitownposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            I didn't see a photo of my husband before I met him.  But I knew what he liked and didn't, what kind of family he came from, whether or not we could maintain a decent conversation. I knew so much about him that what he looked liked didn't much matter.  I'd have found him attractive if I'd run into him somewhere but it likely would have taken far longer to get to know him like I did.

            replyreport
         2. 70

            dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            realtalk247, It's not just about the photo. It's primarily what they have in their profile and most importantly how well they communicate with you.
            Essentially it's up to the individual to establish their own "screening process" as well as to know what they want and need in mate.
            Just like a company that receives several resumes. You'd only respond to those with a certain criteria. Most companies these days have a screening process in place that includes a phone interview to determine if they want to proceed with a face to face interview.
            
            Ideally when it comes to online dating there should several emails exchanges (through the dating site) with a person where you ask each other questions and weigh their responses. Eventually you exchange personal emails which may lead to the possible exchange of phone numbers and having phone conversations. By then one should know if they want to meet them in person. You are in control of your own process.

            replyreport
   2. 70

      AshtonFireflyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe we're just chicken lol

      replyreport
7. 75

   realtalk247posted 10 years ago

   Dashingscopio.  I like your comments, you sound like a dating coach. Appreciate your insight.

   replyreport
8. 75

   realtalk247posted 10 years ago

   AshtonFirefly,
   You could be right.  I had this discussion with someone recently expressing the fact of non-comprehension when it comes to flirting or asking someone out.  If that person says no then:
   1. It's their loss.
   2. They may be romantically involved with someone else
   3. They may not be interested
   But
   At least you tried to pursue/engage someone that interests you. 
   
   No one has the power to disregard or devalue you unless you allow them to do so.  Meeting someone is not marriage, it's just an invitation simply saying: "You are intriguing and I would like to know more about you." 
   I understand, however, with everyone's busy schedule today its somehow impossible to talk to the handsome man or attractive woman shopping next to you at the grocery store, LOL.  Just kidding.  Computer love is the wave of the future, perhaps I'm just old school.

   replyreport
   1. 80

      Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Heaven help us when the asteroid hits the power stations for the internet.

      replyreport