How can you get over your partner having an affair? Could you forgive?

Jump to Last Post 1-5 of 5 discussions (5 posts)
  1. twinkle13 profile image50
    twinkle13posted 8 years ago

    How can you get over your partner having an affair? Could you forgive?

    My partner started a relationship with a women on a well know social network, he drove 300 miles to meet her and sleep with her. I found out 2 days later and he insisted it was a one off, i am trying to fogive but i can forget, could you?

  2. stricktlydating profile image84
    stricktlydatingposted 8 years ago

    That's a really tough situation, becausee seriously went out of his way to cheat. He drove 300 miles - Possibly all the time knowing what he was going there to do, that shows serious determination. He was also cheating online beforehand.  I don't think I could forgive my partner, at least not immediately - it would take a long time to rebuild trust, but it's not impossible.  Regarding him connecting with her via a Social Network Site, please ensure if you stay together he is not putting up a profile as a SINGLE man - for example on Facebook you can put up your profile status as "In a Relationship with YOUR NAME HERE" which should tell his online friends he is committed to you. But If I were you I'd be trying to find out more about what he does online. Does he use Dating Sites etc as it might not be a 'one off' situation, it just might be the one time he got caught. You can only do what feels right to you, and I wish you all the best.

  3. twinkle13 profile image50
    twinkle13posted 8 years ago

    thank you strickly, he no longer needs or wants to be on a social network site now and leave his pc open for me to see what activity he has done. Your right he went 300 miles away to lessen the chance of getting caught (how wrong was he) we talked for days later and he told me from start to finish how it started how he got carried away and yes he didnt give a damn about anything or anyone at the time like you said he has serious determination he was going to do it anyway.
    I truley believe he is sorry, he changed jobs to be nearer to home and went from night to days, we went to counselling, he gave me access to his bank accounts, phone, pc and day by day im getting stronger.
    I have forgiven him but cant forget we both wanted to draw a line under it but im making things worse because its hard for me to move on, he said she was just sex (even though she said she had feelings for him) so he said it was easy to draw a line but i think im ruining things by keep bringing it up and having mental pictures. We have been together 16 years and have 1 daughter so i am prepared to forgive him for 1 mistake but i cant forget i hope time is on my side. 3 months ago i didnt want to wake up again now im a little more positive can 1 mistake be worth 16 years??? Will i get over this in time?? I hope so

  4. Dark knight rides profile image71
    Dark knight ridesposted 8 years ago

    I have to admit, in most things I think it's appropriate to forgive, but I never forget. On this one topic though, I'm not very forgiving. My experience has been that if someone is willing to cheat once, they will do it again. A psych professor once said "the best predictor of future behavior is the past." And if they know that you will let it go, they'll figure they can talk their way out of it again. Of course, sometimes it is a one time thing. And that may be the case here. It's something you have to decide for yourself, you know him far better than we do.
    But with 16 years under your belt, if this is the only issue that's come up, then forgiveness is the way to go. But you won't forget. It will stay there, in the back of your mind. Now it's question of being able to live with it and still move on.

  5. anisetta profile image53
    anisettaposted 8 years ago

    I think that in order to move on to a happier life, we must forgive or try our best to forgive all those who do us wrong, or very wrong such as a partner cheating on us.

    However, to forget may be entirely a different matter. Personally, I canot forget that the person went into an affair knowing that I would be deeply hurt. Even more, I would always be wondering if that person is having another affair every second we are appart. In other words, I can try my best to forgive, but I could never trust that person again.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)