How can you get over your partner having an affair? Could you forgive?
My partner started a relationship with a women on a well know social network, he drove 300 miles to meet her and sleep with her. I found out 2 days later and he insisted it was a one off, i am trying to fogive but i can forget, could you?
That's a really tough situation, becausee seriously went out of his way to cheat. He drove 300 miles - Possibly all the time knowing what he was going there to do, that shows serious determination. He was also cheating online beforehand. I don't think I could forgive my partner, at least not immediately - it would take a long time to rebuild trust, but it's not impossible. Regarding him connecting with her via a Social Network Site, please ensure if you stay together he is not putting up a profile as a SINGLE man - for example on Facebook you can put up your profile status as "In a Relationship with YOUR NAME HERE" which should tell his online friends he is committed to you. But If I were you I'd be trying to find out more about what he does online. Does he use Dating Sites etc as it might not be a 'one off' situation, it just might be the one time he got caught. You can only do what feels right to you, and I wish you all the best.
thank you strickly, he no longer needs or wants to be on a social network site now and leave his pc open for me to see what activity he has done. Your right he went 300 miles away to lessen the chance of getting caught (how wrong was he) we talked for days later and he told me from start to finish how it started how he got carried away and yes he didnt give a damn about anything or anyone at the time like you said he has serious determination he was going to do it anyway.
I truley believe he is sorry, he changed jobs to be nearer to home and went from night to days, we went to counselling, he gave me access to his bank accounts, phone, pc and day by day im getting stronger.
I have forgiven him but cant forget we both wanted to draw a line under it but im making things worse because its hard for me to move on, he said she was just sex (even though she said she had feelings for him) so he said it was easy to draw a line but i think im ruining things by keep bringing it up and having mental pictures. We have been together 16 years and have 1 daughter so i am prepared to forgive him for 1 mistake but i cant forget i hope time is on my side. 3 months ago i didnt want to wake up again now im a little more positive can 1 mistake be worth 16 years??? Will i get over this in time?? I hope so
I have to admit, in most things I think it's appropriate to forgive, but I never forget. On this one topic though, I'm not very forgiving. My experience has been that if someone is willing to cheat once, they will do it again. A psych professor once said "the best predictor of future behavior is the past." And if they know that you will let it go, they'll figure they can talk their way out of it again. Of course, sometimes it is a one time thing. And that may be the case here. It's something you have to decide for yourself, you know him far better than we do.
But with 16 years under your belt, if this is the only issue that's come up, then forgiveness is the way to go. But you won't forget. It will stay there, in the back of your mind. Now it's question of being able to live with it and still move on.
I think that in order to move on to a happier life, we must forgive or try our best to forgive all those who do us wrong, or very wrong such as a partner cheating on us.
However, to forget may be entirely a different matter. Personally, I canot forget that the person went into an affair knowing that I would be deeply hurt. Even more, I would always be wondering if that person is having another affair every second we are appart. In other words, I can try my best to forgive, but I could never trust that person again.
by Dave Rogers 5 years ago
What will you do if you found out that your boss is having an affair with your co worker?I am working really hard to move up the ladder while there is this co worker of mine that is not really doing much but is just going out with the boss who promoted her. I feel so down. I can't just imagine...
by StricktlyDating 3 years ago
Should I tell my friend her husband is having an affair?My other friends say she won't believe me, and I'll only end up looking like the bad girl! But if it was me, I'd want to know.
by emerald2000 6 years ago
How can I not become paranoid and why is my partner lying? sure he is having an affair.I think my partner of 12 years is cheating on me. First it was gut feeling and then he had to come up with a story that she came onto him one night. He stopped there but had a big smile on his face. Long story...
by hawaiiangirl 23 months ago
Is having a secret relationship a good thing or a bad thing?As for me I am having a secret relationship and it is very hard to come by to see each other
by peter565 3 years ago
What would you do if you find out your wife is having an affair with your brother?
by Anthony Modungwo 3 years ago
What will you do if you discover that your best friend is having affair with your spouse?
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|