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How can I not become paranoid and why is my partner lying? sure he is having an

  1. profile image53
    emerald2000posted 6 years ago

    How can I not become paranoid and why is my partner lying? sure he is having an affair.

    I think my partner of 12 years is cheating on me. First it was gut feeling and then he had to come up with a story that she came onto him one night. He stopped there but had a big smile on his face. Long story short, he lied a few times, then gave him proof of a phone message but denies it, he came home late with sex smell all over him and suspicious behaviour, he gets angry, says he is innocent he won't feel guilty and that I am paranoid. he deleted messages, have not dreamt it all. Is he changing is he having an affair is he messing with my mind. I even had suicidal thoughts.

  2. profile image0
    Jussara Scottonposted 6 years ago

    If you're so sure that he is having an affair then you should leave him. Of course he will deny, will not admit to your face that he's having an affair, and this lack of respect shows that he has no noble sentiments for you.
    Show him you have self esteem and doesn't need to undergo this kind of humiliation.
    Life may have a surprise for you!

  3. nightwork4 profile image61
    nightwork4posted 6 years ago

    first off, why the heck would you think about suicide, that's rediculous. secondly, if you don't trust him , then let him go. life is too short to spend it with someone you don't trust.

  4. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 6 years ago

    When you have time read the following 2 hubs.


    http://hubpages.com/hub/Is-it-Possible- … e-Too-Much

    You are not paranoid! You are just afraid to start over!
    Clearly you know you are not getting back the kind of love you want in a relationship, and yet you mention nothing about walking out. Instead you state you have thoughts of "killing "yourself"!
    From what you have written he doesn't sound like someone who is worth dying for! (You do have other options)

    You need to start working on "Loving Yourself" first and foremost.
    It may help for you to find a therapist, read some books, attend some workshops...or do whatever it takes to reclaim Your Self Esteem.
    Afterwards you need to remind yourself that there are over 6 Billion people on this planet and odds are in your favor that there is more than one who will love and appreciate you. You're too close to the forest to see the trees! Put things in their proper perspective.

    (Imagine you had a daughter in the same type of relationship. What advice would you give her?)
    When we see things in black and white we gain insight.
    When we see things in gray it causes us to delay.
    It's time for you to move on. Don't waste any more years!
    "The world may not owe you anything, but YOU owe yourself the world!"
    "When we change, our circumstances change."

  5. dallaswriter profile image58
    dallaswriterposted 6 years ago

    Dear Emerald2000,
    First, I would plea to you to find some counseling as we all need a cheerleader in our corner from time to time and we certainly need someone to help us walk out the answers and choices in front of us. If you are certain he is cheating, well, even forgiveness can get you past that. But if you are so codependent on him that you would consider suicide, you truly have not experienced the unconditional love that Christ has for you! You must love yourself before anyone else can love you. A dear friend told me once when I was in a hell on earth crisis that Things get better when we get better.... I will be praying for you and do not try to fix this on your own or fix him. Leave the fixing to God and do not own your parnters shortcomings... it will only cheat you literally! Blessings to you:)

  6. LuisEGonzalez profile image87
    LuisEGonzalezposted 6 years ago

    Look, there are probably ten guys out there who wish that you were theirs, so leave this guy, start over; no big deal I've done it a few times, it gets better.

  7. GlstngRosePetals profile image77
    GlstngRosePetalsposted 6 years ago

    Hi First of all suicide isn't the answer no man is worth taking your life over when there are so many more fish in the sea. Your not paranoid at all and in my eyes I believe he is cheating. You deserve so much better than this, you want a man to treasure you and love you and not one that sneaks around. It may seem like the end of the world and yes it hurts like hell to have to move on but you need to stay strong and not take crap like this from a man. Kick his butt to the curve.. Do me a favor don't take your life over him he is a jerk for bringing your selfesteem that low to make you have suicidal thoughts. You can do some much better, trust me on this one.. Remember when one door closes another opens...

  8. vocalcoach profile image97
    vocalcoachposted 6 years ago

    Why are you still with him? You deserve better. There is someone more deserving of you out there. Begin telling yourself, you are loved.  And start loving yourself by making wise choices.

    I wish you all the best.

  9. LisaMarie724 profile image80
    LisaMarie724posted 6 years ago

    The best advice I can give you is if it doesn't make sense it isn't true. If you feel he is he more than likely is. If you have these feelings he is doing something to cause them you are not just out of the blue thinking these things. You already know he has lied to you by deleting messages and he would not have done that if he does not have anything to hide. The best thing you can do is get out of that situation, you are worth more than that.