when will my lover ever come back to me?

1. 53

   squeaky546posted 15 years ago

   when will my lover ever come back to me?
   
   my lover left me to be with someone else.i cry everyday and every night because i want him back.i want him to become obssesed with me and think about me all the time.can you help me?

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2. 61

   RachelLynnposted 15 years ago

   Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?  You need to take a good look at yourself.  I don't know that you're so much afraid of not having him as you are afraid of being alone. 
   
   Believe it or not, I've been where you are.  I've had guys leave me because "someone else" has come into their lives.  It doesn't feel good at all, and it downright hurts to be second-best.  But I've learned that these guys don't deserve the girl they've hurt, because if they could see how amazing they really are, they wouldn't have left in the first place.
   
   Take some time for yourself.  Really get to rediscover what makes you happy.  For me, that was music.  I spent two years single after a horrible break-up like yours.  That whole time, I focused on myself.  I decided what I wanted to do with my life, and I set out to do it.  I'm dating again now, and this guy really supports my goals and wants to be with me for me. 
   
   You need to find someone who'll love you for all of you, but first, you need to learn to love yourself.  You're so much better than what you're describing now.

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3. 60

   GoGrannyposted 15 years ago

   Rachel you are right. Squeaky - You do need to focus on yourself now. Never settle for second best. Evaluate the last relationship and you will probably find signs that he wasn't what you really want in a partner anyway. Please don't degrade yourself by trying to get him back...apparently he doesn't want you. If his new girl fails and you take him back you run the risk of him doing it to you again. Take time to clear your head and heal. Be careful with your next choice!

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4. 60

   1womanposted 15 years ago

   Squeaky..I'm diving into this very topic recently.
   
   Listen...this is the reality of it...a loss is a loss. Grieve it, sit with it, and FEEL it.  It will make you who you are in the end...and there is an end. And make no mistake about it...it is a loss for him, too. But men and women work on different time frames and deal with things differently. He will grieve this...just not on your time schedule.
   
   If this was a good relationship, sound and everything was fine until the day this stuff started...there will come a day, I guarantee it, that that phone will ring, sister! I've seen it happen too many times in the worst of scenarios.  And when it does you can ask "what are you offfering me?" and you will either accept or decline.
   There's a saying I love: "We all think the grass is greener on the other side. Truth is---it's just grass over there."

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