we were together 4yrs.everything was ok i thought.but she broke up and had someo

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   turtle35posted 15 years ago

   we were together 4yrs.everything was ok i thought.but she broke up and had someone on the side
   
   have done all i know to show her my love is still strong.i have done this for the past 4months.i have not called her in 2 months.but she callsme once a week.just to see how its going and just life.she tells me not to call her or tex....her that she will keep in touch with me...to lay low...that she didnt want any ?? from the guy shes liveing with....i tell her you must love him....she says why do you say i love him? she never gave me the answer.....i dont know if shes felling guilty for fooling around or she relizes its not so green on the other side......i also ask her do you feel like you me

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2. 70

   stricktlydatingposted 15 years ago

   Oh, that's an awful situation.  The thing is, she's now living with someone else.  And she's asked you not to contact her. This is after she had someone else on the side (cheated on you too?).  She doesn't fall into the definition of being a good partner material because of these things no matter what your heart feels.  My advice would be that the next time she calls you tell her how much you love her, and how it is too painful to hear from her knowing she is living with someone else. Turn the tables on her then and ask her not to call you unless she breaks up with the man she is sharing a home with.  She may well decide that the grass is not greener, and she certainly is wanting to keep in touch - to know you're still there, but you can't be kept by her in that kind of situation, and not standing up for what you want will just prolong the way things are.

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   AnthonyMalibuposted 14 years ago

   The fact that she's still calling you is relevant.  She's not calling you just to "see how you are", either.  She's keeping in touch so she can know where you are, just in case her own situation doesn't work out for her.
   
   The only way to know how this girl really feels about you is to walk away.  If she chases you, it has to be on your own terms.  You can't sit back and wait for her, or play the role of "laying low" as her friend... that never works. 
   
   You need to make her choose.  Either she can have all of you, or she can have none of you at all.  That's the bottom line.

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