how can i make my husband stop watching porn,as a christian couple it just tears

1. 59

   lyliposted 15 years ago

   how can i make my husband stop watching porn,as a christian couple it just tears me up inside to...
   
   discover this evil porn watching ,

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2. 62

   Beasley2007posted 15 years ago

   It's complicated. I went through the same problem with my husband, he was doing it for a year - even after we got married. I caught him linking up to sites where you could meet up with locals.It's hard to make them stop watching, really the only thing best thing I can recommend is sitting down with them everyday if you have to and express your feelings on the view and what kind of damaging its doing to your relationship. And let him know if he continues doing what he does then you are gone. It took alot of prayers, screaming and crying - for a year - to get my husband to leave that stuff alone and what finally did it was praying everyday and night and going to Church and having conversations with God at the alter. It worked because my husband said he started feeling strange things happening and he then got into church and rededicated his life. But to this day I still have the fear he's still doing to. Just pray, and talk.. God works in mysterious ways! God bless you!!

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3. 59

   lyliposted 15 years ago

   thank you so much.i never lost hope in prayer.its just so frustrating.like now while writing and reading your letter.im bleeding coz to me its cheating on your wife...but i really do appreciate your reply..god bless

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4. 63

   mintinfoposted 15 years ago

   I am not a Christian but I can imagine what it must be like. Even some preachers are not immune to certain unholy desires but it is only a test. The best thing for you to do is let him know that the closer people get to God it's the more the devil takes notice of them. God himself is testing your husband. God would not allow the devil to come into your husbands life unless he feels your husband is ready to be tested. This is a test that he must try his best to pass. The more he resists its the worse it will get because the devil has no bounds.

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5. 51

   purifyinggraceposted 15 years ago

   As it pains me to say, you can't stop him. He has to choose to stop. There are two basic roads that most wives take. First, you can confront him and demand that he stops. If you take this road, be prepared to argue and fight as he may turn and confront you depending on his personality. This road is a loud, emotional roller coaster as he will assure you and convince you that he will stop even if he doesn't plan on stopping. However, if you threaten to leave, you must set the boundary and be willing to follow through with it regardless of the consequences. Failure to do so enables him to continue. However, I am not necessarily convinced that this is the best route. I always favor wives staying as long as possible as my wife has stayed with me and it helps! Or second, you can take the more passive role where you simply just pray for him. However, this can be mistaken for condoning. Personally I believe a combination between the two is the most appropriate. However, regardless, there is a lot of emotional wear and tear that will happen.
   
   Also, you need to realize and convince yourself that the porn is not about sex, the women, etc. It's about something much deeper, deep into the core of his being, how he relates to people, and possibly even his whole persona. And there are a ton of books that he could read, but something I wish I would have done much sooner in my personal recovery is seen a CSAT (Cert. Sexual Addiction Therapist) counselor earlier (and there are some who specialize in helping wives of addicts which is highly recommended that both see someone who knows sexual addiction, see this blog for questions to ask a counselor before choosing, http://purifyinggrace.com/my-pornograph … right-one/).
   
   Check out these brief articles: Help for Spouses of Porn Addicts: http://purifyinggrace.com/category/porn-addicts-spouse/ especially 10 Things to Do When Your Spouse Is Unfaithful http://purifyinggrace.com/porn-addicts- … nfaithful/ and Why Do Men Blame their Spouses for Their Addiction, http://purifyinggrace.com/porn-addicts- … n-problem/
   
   
   There are more and more resources available for wives than there ever has been. Probably the two best books available are Every Heart Restored and Unfaithful (view/purchase from Amazon here: http://purifyinggrace.com/book-store/). And there are a ton of books on the subject and the best books are Ted Roberts Pure Desire and anything by Patrick Carnes, who is the leading expert in this field (regarding porn: Out of the Shadows).

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6. 60

   terced ojosposted 15 years ago

   Prayer. Prayer changes things.
   
   As a Christian woman you probably already know that we are in a spiritual war with Satan.
   
   Porn is rooted in demonic lusts. Satan uses porn to distract us from a complete worship of God in every area of our lives.
   
   Talk to your husband if you haven't already.  Tell him the truth in love; namely that his porn watching is a sin against God and also that it is hurting you.  Ask him to go to counseling with you; preferably with your pastor.

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7. 51

   sagehopeposted 15 years ago

   look at this book. it describes the mind manipulations used in sexual presentations, and shows xactly how to free oneself from them.
   Title: "Open to Bliss..." by Omid Mankoo

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8. 71

   chasemillisposted 14 years ago

   You need to bring it up to him, but don't be angry when you do because he will get defensive and you won't really accomplish anything. If you absolutly cannot approach him about it, encourage him to go to more church events with you because nothing beats the power of Christ.

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