Why do so many women think that their husbands do not view porn in some way? I

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   tiredofhusbandposted 13 years ago

   Why do so many women think that their husbands do not view porn in some way?  I have found from...
   
   being married and single for 10 years that what this writer has said is true. 
   Pornography interferes with marriage what most people don't understand is that it is an addiction that eats into you...I knew someone with that addiction. It's horrible and instead of appreciating what's real in your life, you spend time lusting after something imagined.  My own husband has spent our 17 years of marriage living in fantasy.  Even though when we got married I was totally fit and slim, he could never appreciate what he had.  So, after a few years; I just gave up on the sex like I used to have.  It ha

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   tarkishatposted 13 years ago

   I disagree to a certain extent. I don't feel that pornography can end a marriage, but if your spouse is constantly viewing porn all day every day, then there could be a problem. I really don't mind if my man views a little porn every now and then, hell I would even sit down and watch it with him. Let's face it, you can learn a lot from a porn star. LOL!  But if that is all he wants to do, then there could be an addiction. If a person's sexual needs are not getting met by his or her partner, then of course they would look elsewhere for satisfaction. If you do think that your spouse has an addiction to porn I feel that you all should talk about it and seek help before you let it ruin your marriage.

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   Nicole1963posted 13 years ago

   When one ponders the question pertaining to whether the act of viewing porn is an addiction and is hazardous and destructive to marriage many avenues of thought open before them. Pornography can and for some does become an addiction and may destroy their relationship with a spouse. However, to make a blanket statement that the viewing of pornography in general is an addiction would be a false and ill informed conclusion.
   
   When pornography viewing becomes a compulsion and begins to dominate one’s lifestyle and actions then it would be considered an addiction and detrimental to a relationship. However, the same thing could be said about eating chocolate. If one enjoys a piece of chocolate there is nothing wrong with that. However, if a person consumes large amounts of the confectionary to the point that they allow it to effect their health then they suffer from an addiction.
   Thus everything has the ability to become addictive. It is not the object that is the addiction but rather the act and involvement one dedicates to the pursuit of that object which is the addiction.
   
   I know many happy couples that at times incorporate the viewing of pornography in their life. A couple must be able to communicate with each other and voice their desires. If one’s husband or boyfriend seems to be developing what appears to be an unhealthy preoccupation with pornography then instead of getting mad and withholding sex try engaging them in conversation. Ask them without sounding accusing why they watch so much pornography. Be open and honest about your feelings but remember anger and a closed mind will get you nowhere. If in their explanation they voice some concerns that paint some of your actions in a bad light be willing to be honest with yourself and own up to possible actions that may have helped to bring the use to what it is.

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   Unmaskedposted 13 years ago

   I disagree with you. I think women get much too caught up in their men looking at other women. Yes, it can be destructive if a man's looking goes on to actual phsyical behavior but for the most part there is nothing wrong with a man speaking to his natural urges by viewing pornography (in video or print version) or even going to a strip club every now and then. If a woman is confident in herself and in her relationship she will understand that fantasy is fantasy. It is not the actual woman he is thinking about but the act, the fact that she is naked, the fact that they are having sex. Much of the time a man that is viewing something sexually stimulating is actually thinking of his partner and what the experience would be like with them. When my husband and I got married I encouraged him to have a traditional bachelor party and go to see strippers. It didn't bother me in the least. I don't think that the fact that a man views pornography can destroy a marriage. It is how it is perceived. If it becomes an addiction it is a signifier of something much larger. And if a woman in turn closes herself off to him, emotionally and physically, the marriage will, of course, suffer. Porn does not end marriages, people do.

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   Carrie Terryposted 12 years ago

   I have been married for a little over a week, and before we got married i knew of his addiction to porn.  I urt a lot.  we would fight and i would always tell him if he wanted a made for porn girl he shouldn't be with me.  i have had 3 kids and i believe i am alergic to working out.  he woul tell me over and over it's not that.  i married him and love im so strongly, only because God wants us to be where we are.  plus, my husband and i both suffer from addiction to substances and we know how to help each other.  it has gotten better, and i know just like women, men enjoy masterbation and fantasy, it is fun and everyone does it.  some more then others, but i choose my marriage over addiction.

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