Assuming you are male, suffering from chronic impotence. Wouldn't you consider

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   days leaperposted 14 years ago

   Assuming you are male, suffering from chronic impotence.  Wouldn't you consider it the right...
   
   thing to do to not pursue otherwise potential relationships?
   Throughout history, people have assumed self confirmed batchelors as "possibly gay".  Some are of course.  But should society assume this as the only possible reason for a man not marrying etc.

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   days leaperposted 14 years ago

   Sometimes avoiding a relationship has caused hurt, mis-understanding, even anger leading to bad mouthing.   You may say that sex is only about 10 or 20 percent of a relationship, even that there are other non-penatrative things to do.  But, the truth is the above is a very important part of a relationship.  And the lack of it can cause frustrations leading to problems!
   I've missed all my best chances now anyway, so am a lost cause, but there may be others out there whom your answers may help.  And thanks. -but things like viagra haven't worked.  And much of my missed chances were before this era anyway.

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   Precious Williamsposted 14 years ago

   You are not a lost cause at all.  And don't believe everything you read - sex is not the most important feature of a relationship.  My husband has been impotent for most of the last ten years  And no I haven't had an affair.  We have a very happy marriage, because the most important thing is someone who you can laugh with, share your fears and your dreams and who cares about you just the way you are.  So don't put off pursuing a relationship.  The right person for you won't let it spoil a relationship with you - only you can do that if you turn away and make assumptions how they feel about it without actually asking.

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   Emissionguyposted 14 years ago

   Absolutely not. Relationships are for the mutual benfit of both parties. There are many great benefits of a relationship that do not include sex. Companionship and pooling of resources just to name a couple.
   
   I know married couples that do not have sex. This does not prevent them from enjoying all the other benefits of a good relationship.
   
   Granted this type of relationship may not appeal to some women, however it might actually appeal to some women who do not enjoy or desire sex with a male.

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   helendangerposted 14 years ago

   It's true that society likes to see us paired up.  But if that is not what you want, you owe it to yourself to do what feels right to you.  Before all the recent catholic priest scandals (which do NOT represent the whole, by the way) celibacy was looked upon as a very enlightened choice.
   
   If you are worried about what others will think about you, figure out how to explain it quickly and simply without embarrassment.  Like a little speech for new people you might meet.  I wish you the best.  It is hard to be different.  And it would do us all a lot of good if we could be a little less nosy and a lot more accepting!

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   days leaperposted 14 years ago

   It is better to have loved and lost (as the saying goes) than wake up one day desparately wondering.  Troubles may be present in life, but try not to let these get in the way. read more

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   Nelson09posted 14 years ago

   Dude!! No one ever deserves to be alone. I have faced many cases where relationships have gone haywire for there was no communication. Being a man who is faced with ED, the biggest challenge is how do you break the news about it to your partner and how would you overcome such a gory phase in your life. Your true partner will stand by you, fight and find a solution. Untrue one will leave you and you are better of them for sure.
   
   No this thing doesn’t make you half a man, just like infertility in women doesn’t make her half a women. We need to change and we have to be the change. The best thing that impotent patients could ever do for themselves is face it and find a solution. Yes, it may be a huge blow on your ego, but you will live and survive. I have addressed this issue in my hub, for it is close to my heart.
   
   Only when you are strong emotionally will you overcome hurdles physically.

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   svencillposted 14 years ago

   No I don't think it would be the right thing to avoid potentially good relationships. You just to have an understanding partner. When I first started dating my husband(he's 14 years older than me) he had some issues but I thought it would be too great of a relationship to give up over such a thing, and I was right. If you meet the right person they will be with you through whatever problems you might have.
   
   I don't think sex is the most important part of a relationship, although there are other ways to enjoy yourself.Even though my husband and I couldn't have sex at first, I had a great time with him. A wonderful time actually. Sometimes I even miss it. I say you can enjoy a relationship regardless.

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   pb3131posted 14 years ago

   Impotence or erectile dysfunction (ED) in and of itself doesn't mean someone can't have a relationship. It is a treatable medical condition, and there are other ways to please.
   
   Impotence/ED could be used as an excuse to avoid intimacy.
   
   And fear of intimacy could cause the impotence/ED.
   
   If someone wants intimacy then go for it, being as open and honest as possible with potential partners.
   
   If a person doesn't want intimacy, it's their call, but excessive fear of intimacy is a psychological problem.
   
   And it, too, is a treatable condition.

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    MayGposted 14 years ago

    I don't think so.  If someone loves you they will accept everything about you, and you can look into treating it together.  As for the next part of your question about society assuming that bachelors may be gay, I don't think  that's what people think at all.  There's a ton of reasons, including not finding the right person. I don't think we need to start assuming that every confirmed bachelor we know has a chronic impotence problem either do we?

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