Hurt, angry and jealous. What should I, or can I, do?

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  1. profile image44
    Randyman16posted 8 years ago

    Hurt, angry and jealous. What should I, or can I, do?

    My beautiful wife is insecure about her breasts. I love them. She didnt believe me & wanted a breast job. Before she would do it, she wanted to make sure I was honest about them. So she went to our single neighbors house and asked him to look at and touch her breasts to get an honest opinion. Now I feel pain, jealousy, & anger over this.  I dont want her talking to him anymore, or walking around our yard in a bikini, or for him to see her at all. I cant look at my wife showering or even touch her breasts without the constant reminder. I want to put up a privacy fence to help me deal with it.

  2. profile image44
    Fitzpatrickposted 8 years ago

      She has most likely had intercourse with this person. Do yourself a favor and hire an investigator that specializes in issues of infidelity.
      You see, most ladies wouldn't ever consider letting someone unfamiliar with their body touch their boobies. Let alone ask for their opinion on weather or not they are good enough.....YA YA I KNOW! I don't know her nor have I ever met her. I can only go off of what little information you've presented here.
      Yes I was serious about the Investigator......check your local listings....get photos....they help at the divorce trial.

    lol...i kid....he's probably gay.

  3. Diane Inside profile image75
    Diane Insideposted 8 years ago

    she shouldn't have done that, but he is not much of a neighbor or friend if you ever considered him one. He should have refused. sad to say but sounds like there is more going on there too. I hope not but come on, I'd never ask another man to check out my boobs. That is a priviledge only my husband gets.

  4. cresandsuzanne profile image56
    cresandsuzanneposted 8 years ago

    i have an uneven chest and i wanted to get it taken care of for YEARS-but my husband made me realize that it didnt matter-i am beautiful to him and he loves my uniqueness.  your wife should have fond solace in the fact that you love her for who she is-nad honestly- what she did with your neighbor shows that she does not want YOUR approval-she wants the world's approval. This means subconciously she has not or does not accept your marriage as her final goal in life.....and she does not consider herself "yours".  i grew up with a phd marriage counselor mother, and i hate to be the bearer of bad tidings...but you guys need to really talk about your marriage; and your wife needs to either realize she's beautiful to you and thats all she needs-or go out and find herself.  basically, she's not just your WIFE, she's your BEST FRIEND, LOVER, PARTNER IN CRIME, and LIFE COMPANION....her actions should reflect this if its true.  EITHER WAY- dont fight, dont be spiteful; she obviously needs attention and people need love the most when they dont deserve it.

  5. Miranda Fox profile image58
    Miranda Foxposted 8 years ago

    You're in your right to feel offended at her freely displaying her goodies like that.
    Were the shoe on the other foot, she would be none too happy if you allowed a free-for all with your lady neighbors, would she?
    Highly doubt it.

  6. Emissionguy profile image84
    Emissionguyposted 8 years ago

    The emotions you describe are what I would consider normal responses to the events in your story.

    I would forget about the neighbor right now because you have much bigger problems and it's not a situation of his making.

    Your inability to convince your wife not to alter her body to look better speaks volumes about your current relationship.

    You have failed to make her feel that she is perfect and therefore she needs to feel appreciated by others.

    Go ahead and place most of that hurt and anger upon yourself, you deserve it. Now you can continue looking for others to blame and watch your marriage go down the toilet or you can try to fix it.

    Go have a beer with the neighbor and ask him to forgive your wife's little outburst.

    Then get to work on fixing YOUR problems, and get help (right away) if you are unable to understand your own shortcomings and how to make your wife feel special without needing the spreciation of others.

  7. dawnM profile image64
    dawnMposted 8 years ago

    I do believe that Emissionguy did a very good job at answering this so

    The interesting thing about your question is that you added the word touch her breasts, where did this come into play?  How did you get this information?  Did your wife tell you that the neighbor touched her breast?  If she did tell you then there is a lot more going on here than you are sharing?

    Not at all typical for a woman who is conscious of her breasts to be showing them off to someone else........

    So what are you leaving out?

  8. profile image44
    Randyman16posted 8 years ago

    Hi Everyone,

    Thank you for all of your inputs.  My wife and I are best friends and she has been going through a lot of life changes since I got back from being deployed to Afghanistan last year.  She is now 39 and has a very high sex drive since I have been back.  But she has also had a ton of insecurities and jealousies over me, though I have done nothing.  I can't even watch TV and not have her shut down if a beautiful woman comes on TV and God forbid it shows any nudity, even partial, then she closes down bad.  I have done everything I know how to show and tell her how beautiful she is, but nothing I says helps.  She is just convinced that she is not pretty.  She is skinny, beautiful, and has B-Cup breasts that still look hot.  I have always done things to show her I was interested in her body, but she just convinced herself that I would not tell her the truth about her breasts because I would not want to hurt her feelings.  She is actually a very shy person, so this is very uncharacteristic of her.  She told me that when I finally broke down and told her that she could get her breasts done that it became very scary to her and she just felt like she needed someone else's opinion, because a breast doctor wouldn't tell her the truth.  She has apologized for what she did and realizes it was wrong, but it still hurts and I just get angrier every time I see the guy and I can't get it out of my mind when I see her naked or try to touch her breasts.  My wife wants me to talk to him, but I am afraid I will beat the crap out of the guy if I get near him.  Do you all think that me putting up a privacy fence so I don't have to see him anymore would be a temporary help until I can get through this?  I am not mad at her, I am just hurt and pissed off at him.  She tells me to blame her because she asked him to do it, but I told her that he should not have accepted.

  9. Phil Dapple profile image32
    Phil Dappleposted 8 years ago

    Some people do the craziest things for love. When you truly love someone you generally want everything to be perfect for the other. True love is putting others first, right? Sometimes men don’t see things in the same aspect as women. Women of a conscientious nature generally try hard to take good care of their bodies. Most men in general are not so concerned about these issues. However, when her concerns arise and us as men don’t take them seriously it hurts. Feelings and emotions may take over because of the nature of these issues that are controlling her thoughts. Sometimes by simply saying "why are you worried about that" could trigger thoughts that you don’t care, even when you do. It’s good to be sensitive around touchy topics.
    True love is true love don’t let things go stale. Especially if you are both true and faithful.

    Thank you for your service and welcome home.

  10. profile image0
    reeltaulkposted 7 years ago

    Man you're "wife" is a trip and absolutely no good!  Sounds like she is purposely hurting you and you know what that means.  Ask yourself if she is truly married and committed to you why the urgent need to have implants which of course are for attention (from other men of course, this she has proven by going to your neighbors house and doing what she did) or for porn.  Get out while you can she a skeezer aka tramp!  FYI: what makes you think that your "beautiful" wife is insecure, she knows she looks good!  Insecure people don't behave like that!  She just cares about herself and that isn't what "suppose to" happen when you're married!


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