If you really love someone, won't you be happy if they 'cheat'?
For me, loving someone means caring for another person, even as much as I care for myself. So if my loved one told me that she had a sexual experience with someone else, then my natural reaction would be to hope that it was a good experience for her. On the contrary, most people would feel anger, resentment and a loss of confidence. Those reactions don't seem like love to me, instead they seem to come from selfish, controlling attitudes. Love is not ownership. Am I wrong? Maybe.
That's an interesting view point. One of the components of loving somebody is about trust and loyalty. Usually cheating is seen as breaking that loyality and trust hence the term 'cheating'. It also calls into question how much you respect your loved one if you went behind their back and shared an intimate experience with somebody else.
Nan, everybody are different,
One thing you have to understand is that we animals do not respond towards an allege event that has taken place, instead we respond towards our own evaluation of it and different people have different reaction towards the same situation.
Your reaction is definitly unusuall and I highly doubt any of us would react the same way as you, but no there is nothing wrong with your reaction.
no, i will be utterly dissappointed eventhough whatever excuses or reasons are given.
That has some sense on some level, but it really comes down to what angle you look at love from. In my opinion, cheating is a type of betrayal. The one you love and want to share your life with went behind your back and shared something that a loved one should only share with their significant other. Just my 2cents
That's a interesting point-of-view... sure if someone you love says they have had a "sexual experience" with someone else it would be considered okay for most people (everyone is different) but lots of people wouldn't feel like it's "true love" if your loved one cheats on you with another man or woman while you two are in a committed relationship,than obviously she isn't "fully" in love with you. If she really wants to go out and actually talk to another guy, be with him for a few weeks, than actual have a "sexual experience" than that is something that really shouldn't be considered "true love" for you two's relationship. Now, if she had a "sexual experience" before you two started dating and told you about that, now that's a total different story for me at least and that's totally "A" OK in my book. In reality, it's different for everyone... nice question and way to make everyone think about this one... I don't think there's a legitimate correct answer to this one, everyone has a different opinion and has there own right to express that, no wrong or right way on this one, it's totally up to how you feel and only you. Don't let anyone else tell you how to run your life my friends.
Thanks for the question, hope this helps...
Sincerely,
SEOWizKid
I find your point of view quit interesting and it indeed has something on it when I consider by reading you that it seems that "Selfishness" isn't part of what you feel for your partner or at least not based on that mindset and sex, not especially what determines your "LOVE" for your partner. Well my question on this would go to you and that is: "Do feel that you're wrong on this?"
That's where you've to listen to yourself as nobody can know it better than you do. If your partner does see it differently than you do, than you are definitely not on the same page as she's then surely way more selfish as you are and frankly ... doesn't even really care! If she would be like you and both of you know about, that would be a rule & game changer in how you define your relationship. Part that is only the "BUSINESS OF THE 2 OF YOU", nobody else.
In your case and if your partner indeed feels the same way, trust and loyalty is not defined the way usual couples define it as the parameters are different. So your Trust and loyalty is defined by this new mindset or maybe ... Love-set (?!).
Up to you now if it works for you that way or if you might be pulled back into the classic Relationship model everybody is used to know...
THE BOTH OF YOU MAKE THE RULES AND YOU CHANGE THEM WHENEVER YOU WANT, IF NEEDED.
But however!
You can have advice from a lot of different people, be they random or close to you, but nobody will be better adviser than you being in & aware of the perfect match with your partner, no matter if people around agree with it or not.
Like I said ... that's none of their business.
by lisasuniquevoice 7 years ago
How can you say you really love someone if you don't trust them?
by adventurouslife 8 years ago
How do you know if you really love someone?
by Michelle 14 years ago
How can we be sure that we really love someone?
by Miss Intern 8 years ago
Are you afraid to propose to a girl that you really love on the right time?Supposedly that girl is the one you will marry.
by Bimbie 14 years ago
i am 21years old,i have a boyfriend,and he his my first ever,i'm still a virgin,one of the...reasons i'm dating him is because he is in Ukraine studying while i'm in Replublique de Benin,i'm not ready for sex,so dating him doesn't require sex till he finishes school.At the same time, i met a guy...
by erin25 14 years ago
How do you know if it's really love if you have never felt it before?
Copyright © 2025 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2025 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |