If you really love someone, won't you be happy if they 'cheat'?

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   hubscribeposted 14 years ago

   If you really love someone, won't you be happy if they 'cheat'?
   
   For me, loving someone means caring for another person, even as much as I care for myself. So if my loved one told me that she had a sexual experience with someone else, then my natural reaction would be to hope that it was a good experience for her. On the contrary, most people would feel anger, resentment and a loss of confidence. Those reactions don't seem like love to me, instead they seem to come from selfish, controlling attitudes. Love is not ownership. Am I wrong? Maybe.

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2. 0

   sarahsherlockposted 14 years ago

   That's an interesting view point. One of the components of loving somebody is about trust and loyalty. Usually cheating is seen as breaking that loyality and trust hence the term 'cheating'. It also calls into question how much you respect your loved one if you went behind their back and shared an intimate experience with somebody else.

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3. 60

   juiwei2000posted 14 years ago

   Nan, everybody are different,
   
   One thing you have to understand is that we animals do not respond towards an allege event that has taken place, instead we respond towards our own evaluation of it and different people have different reaction towards the same situation. 
   
   Your reaction is definitly unusuall and I highly doubt any of us would react the same way as you, but no there is nothing wrong with your reaction.

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   peachpurpleposted 14 years ago

   no, i will be utterly dissappointed eventhough whatever excuses or reasons are given.

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5. 60

   Tubbleposted 14 years ago

   That has some sense on some level, but it really comes down to what angle you look at love from. In my opinion, cheating is a type of betrayal. The one you love and want to share your life with went behind your back and shared something that a loved one should only share with their significant other. Just my 2cents

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6. 60

   BillyDRitchieposted 14 years ago

   That's a interesting point-of-view... sure if someone you love says they have had a "sexual experience" with someone else it would be considered okay for most people (everyone is different) but lots of people wouldn't feel like it's "true love" if your loved one cheats on you with another man or woman while you two are in a committed relationship,than obviously she isn't "fully" in love with you. If she really wants to go out and actually talk to another guy, be with him for a few weeks, than actual have a "sexual experience" than that is something that really shouldn't be considered "true love" for you two's relationship. Now, if she had a "sexual experience" before you two started dating and told you about that, now that's a total different story for me at least and that's totally "A" OK in my book. In reality, it's different for everyone... nice question and way to make everyone think about this one... I don't think there's a legitimate correct answer to this one, everyone has a different opinion and has there own right to express that, no wrong or right way on this one, it's totally up to how you feel and only you. Don't let anyone else tell you how to run your life my friends.
   
   Thanks for the question, hope this helps...
   
   Sincerely,
   SEOWizKid

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7. 61

   move2moveposted 13 years ago

   
   
   I find your point of view quit interesting and it indeed has something on it when I consider by reading you that it seems that "Selfishness" isn't part of what you feel for your partner or at least not based on that mindset and sex, not especially what determines your "LOVE" for your partner. Well my question on this would go to you and that is: "Do feel that you're wrong on this?"
   That's where you've to listen to yourself as nobody can know it better than you do. If your partner does see it differently than you do, than you are definitely not on the same page as she's then surely way more selfish as you are and frankly ... doesn't even really care! If she would be like you and both of you know about, that would be a rule & game changer in how you define your relationship. Part that is only the "BUSINESS OF THE 2 OF YOU", nobody else.
   In your case and if your partner indeed feels the same way, trust and loyalty is not defined the way usual couples define it as the parameters are different. So your Trust and loyalty is defined by this new mindset or maybe ... Love-set (?!).
   Up to you now if it works for you that way or if you might be pulled back into the classic Relationship model everybody is used to know...
   THE BOTH OF YOU MAKE THE RULES AND YOU CHANGE THEM WHENEVER YOU WANT, IF NEEDED.
   But however! 
   You can have advice from a lot of different people, be they random or close to you, but nobody will be better adviser than you being in & aware of the perfect match with your partner, no matter if people around agree with it or not.
   
   Like I said ... that's none of their business.

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