When you have their very best interests in your heart and WANT NOTHING IN RETURN. If you want to be loved in return you are coming from a position of need.
And as we can only give what we have got, we firstly need to love ourselves; love ourselves completely and without reservations. When we have this sort of love for our own self, we are then able to love others in the same way.
I think you can say you love someone when you feel good and expansive in their company; and that their happiness is important to you. So that even if for some reason you grow apart or they want to leave, you let them go with with good will and you make sure that they have their fair share of what you have built up together.
Hi ThreeKeys. I have to say I was really angry when Mike left me. It's been 14 years and I'm still pissed at him...
Do you think you'd be angry if you had let go and found new love with someone else? 14 years is too long to be pissed off or dwelling on anything! You have to "let go" in order to "move on". Forgiveness is for (your) sake!
Hi cissy. Im sorry its been very difficult for you. But I wonder if you have a good neighbour that may make a great companion for you now? I keep hearing stories of of our elders in their later years (80's and early 90's) taking the love plunge!
ThreeKeys, you have forgotten. Mike died--and one day I'll get him back for dying before me.
If I live to be 100 I'll still be pissed at him for dying first.
I did forget cissy....im sorry....i understand
You go to drag races with them and they go to concerts with you and neither one grumbles...
Compatibility trumps compromise!
It would be wonderful if they enjoyed both activities! Nevertheless if one hates something then (if you love them) you wouldn't "force them to endure it".
You'd just go with a friend who really does enjoy it.
If you're asking the question it means you're not "in love" with them!
Everyone has their own idea of what love is suppose to feel/look like.
Falling in love with someone generally means they are fulfilling your expectations of what (you) have for a mate based upon your criteria.
If this were not the case you wouldn't want to continue being with them. Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
When you care/worry about someone's wellbeing and their happiness makes you happy you're likely to love them. You don't want to trade them in for anyone else.
Nevertheless if you're not being loved (the way you want to be loved) it's natural to question whether or not your mate is "the one" for you.
You will know you're really in love with someone when you no longer feel the need to ask anyone this question. You will simply KNOW, with every fiber of your being.
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