should getting married by a compromise to having a baby
getting married in 8 months, I feel very stong about it, but my partner doesnt. he would rather wait later in life, but wants a child asap and I feel stong about not falling preg untill i'm married.
He fine with getting married if that what it takes, but i'm getting scared as the months pass that he not doing it form him.
we both love each other and plan to spend the rest of our lives together. ami making a big deal out of nothing?
My brother has had a kid without being married. He then proposed to his girlfriend at the baby's shower. He wants another kid, but doesn't have marriage at the top of his list. although he will eventually get married to her I am sure.
Its not that you are making a big deal, because it is, marriage isn't as sacred as it once was. As long as you love eachother getting married doesn't matter, all it will do was cause more fight and drama that you guys just dont need.
Marriage is expensive in a lot of cases, if you guys can't float it, maybe now isn't the time.
I hate to see you becoming un-excited about your wedding. Seems like your man is happy to keep you happy. What's wrong with that? He is wanting a child asap and you need to be married to do that. This is the give and take that is needed to stay married Hooray!! you guys are doing it, working it out together. Just please don't become over involved with the wedding and all the plans and stuff with that, make the focus of the whole thing the joining of two loving people. Good Luck
Taking the part of the Devil's Advocate...
In my experience a man who has no desire to be married but wants a family has not entirely convinced himself that you are "the One" and is only trying on the family thing to see if it fits what he's looking for. It is easier to walk away from a family that is not bound with legal ties.
He may be willing to walk down the aisle because it is easier to give in than to hurt your feelings. Men do not like confrontations that involve women and often say what they think a woman wants to hear in order avoid any possible confrontation. Think long and hard before saying "I do" because while he may agree to marriage it does not mean that he is committed to it. He asked for a child not a life together there is a big difference between the two.
Ultimately, you will have to decide what you are most comfortable with. Are you willing to chance your future and that of a child on someone who has not decided on what he wants?
No problem if you believe him, confirm that he will marry you, you can okey to his wish too.
by SkippingThruLife 9 years ago
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