should my wife forgive me for marrying her while my divorce was not final with my other wife? I...
tried to force the divorce before my current wife found out i was married. It did not happen fast enough, my current wife told me to marry her now or its over. I love her so i did it and she found out and now she holds it against me. what can i do to get her to forgive me?
She will forgive you if she really loves you. I don't know your circumstances but then, you need to marry her again as your marriage to her is null and void?
1. marriage shouldnt be forced
2. do something amazing for her, take her somewhere.
3. treat her like she's worth everything to you
To bestow my bluntness and honesty, I would be pretty upset if the man I was with was secretly married, while marrying me. You have broken her trust in a huge way.
That being said, she gave you an ultimatum? Marriage is something that should be between two people who both, independently of each other, want to. Forced marriage breeds resentment.
If by 'holding against you' you mean always using it in arguments, always bringing it up as a means to win the conversation... if she's said she forgives you then this is out of bounds. However, if she hasn't forgiven you, this is part of her getting her anger and hurt out. If you truly want to be with your new wife and want to make things work, you should own up, tell her you realize you broke her trust and how badly you feel, validate her feelings, tell her you're going to show her moving forward that she can trust you (and do so), and that you hope in time she can forgive you.
Then do something nice for her that will make her feel that you love her so. Don't make a common mistake though, by letting yourself become a doormat in the process of making it up to her. You're an individual like any other and we all make mistakes, sometimes big ones, but mistakes none the less. If the offender is truly sorry and is trying to make things better, they should not be treated like a bad puppy.
Sort of went on a rant there...
Hope this helps
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