What do you do when your wife moans another man's name in bed?

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   jpcmcposted 7 years ago

   What do you do when your wife moans another man's name in bed?
   
   

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   peter565posted 7 years ago

   Oh boy, that is an awkward situation isn't it?

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      jpcmcposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Very awkward.

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   Robie Benveposted 7 years ago

   That happened to a friend of mine. They filed for divorce shortly after.....

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      dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Do you know (who) initiated the filing of the divorce?
      According to statistics in the U.S. (women) initiate the filing of divorce 66% or 2/3rds of the time.
      It's also been said divorced men remarry sooner than divorced women.

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      Robie Benveposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      In that case he filed for divorce, but after a period of "trying" making the marriage work again.

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      jpcmcposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there Robie, Someone must have really gotten hurt because of this. 
      
      Dashing Scorpio, I read on the divorce stats in the US and they indeed have a high women-initiated divorces.  I also read somewhere that even the time of the year there are peak

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   dashingscorpioposted 7 years ago

   
   
   I'd moan out another woman's name!
   Seriously it's not as if many men are going to run down to the courthouse, file for divorce, move out of their home into a one bedroom condo, pay child support/alimony, become a weekend, split up assets, along with friends and family who choose sides all because (wait for it...)
   She mumbled another guy's name during “throes of passion"!
   Truthfully it would not surprise me if lots of married people engage in the use sexual fantasy while having sex with their spouses. I'm fairly certain if a woman went to wild bachelorette party and got worked up watching male strippers it wouldn't be a stretch for her to be having "flashbacks" while having sex with her husband.
   While moaning out a name provides "proof" that one's mate is fantasizing the truth is we can never (really know) what or who our mate is thinking about during sex and vice versa.
   For all a wife knows her husband may have just watched some Internet porn, saw a very attractive woman earlier in the day, or some other female image from a movie or wherever causing him to "lust in his heart". 
   When someone closes their eyes they're in their own world.
   We don't get to control other people's thoughts or imaginations. The majority of people keep those "momentary thoughts" or fantasies to themselves even when asked:
   "What are you thinking?"
   Having said that if there have been {numerous other changes} in one's mate behavior in addition to calling out other people's name during sex it could be an indication they are cheating or contemplating doing so. If it's a movie star or character from a novel you either learn to accept she has fantasies or find someone who keeps their fantasies to themselves.

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      savvydatingposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Eeew! What is all this talk of porn and fantasies. For crying out loud, the man just experienced something rather heartbreaking.

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      dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Savvydating,
      I (never assumed) this was JP Carlos' life experience.
      I also didn't make the leap that a woman who moans another man's name is having an affair. I acknowledged it's possible people fantasize about others while having sex.

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      jpcmcposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Yves, it is ok, I appreciate insights of everyone here.  I know 2 people who experienced this.  Both are women and moaned different names other than their husband's.  Both women never had any other relationships other than their husbands - that's wha

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      savvydatingposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      All I know is that I haven't "moaned" anyone else's name while having sex, nor do I fantasize about being with someone other than the person I am in bed with. What is the point of that? No thank you. I prefer to be with someone I actually desire.

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      dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      JP Carlos,
      I had a feeling you weren't talking about your own marriage!
      Whether one's spouse is cheating or fantasizing it still hurts to (know) they're not (mentally with you) while being intimate.

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      jpcmcposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Yves, your spouse is lucky to have you.

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      fpherj48posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Yves....Tee hee...my lips are sealed!  Your spouse (?) is indeed very lucky......or certainly WILL be! 

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      jpcmcposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Oh my, I am sorry, it was wrong of me to assume Yves is married...obviously I am not aware of something.  It's between Paula and Yves.

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      savvydatingposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Well okay, there was that one time I yelled out, Benito, Oh Benito Del Toro, Benito, my love. Ha!

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       fpherj48posted 7 years agoin reply to this

       OMG, Yves! I don't know even 1 other woman who loves him like I do!..Except U now! Too weird! My friends tell me I have terrible taste in men OR most don't even know who he is! It's "BENICIO" & he's mine!! LOL  It's OK, JP...we're just joking w/

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       savvydatingposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Lol. I yelled out the wrong name. But seriously, that is crazy!!! You love him too!!! We'll just have to share. (I'm pretty sure he won't mind) I'm so impressed with your tastes, Paula! (sorry guys...girl talk. You started it.)

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       fpherj48posted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Yes, you did moan the wrong name!  LOL....Benito is his father!!   LMAO.  JP...don't mind us....She's right, you guys did start this!! OK, we're done.  Promise.

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       jpcmcposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Benicio del torro, the actor?  OK, Now I will never look at him the same way again.  Although I never moaned another woman's name, my wife keeps on teasing me because i told her that mandy moore had a nice voice and I found her pretty.  She can't sto

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       Terrielynn1posted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Savvy, I agree. I've been married 32 years and this has never happened. I would be up and gone. We have been through a lot but that's just nasty. If another women's name is on his lips, at this time then it's not me he is thinking of. No way.

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       savvydatingposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       TerrieLynn...I don't know that I'd throw in the towel, but I would be mad as a hornet. After I calmed down, we would have a serious talk. Then I would make a determination. I haven't had that experience either, so it is hard to really know what I wou

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       jpcmcposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       HI there terrie, I am pretty sure in that 32 years you've been together there was at least one time your husband thought of another woman.  We can't demand that our spouse do not think of another person.  But it can hurt a lot when it happens.

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   savvydatingposted 7 years ago

   Just calmly ask her about it. Take note of her reaction. Read her face and her body language. Have an honest discussion. If she is cheating, you both have some decisions to make about what needs to happen to improve the marriage, if that is still possible.

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      dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Why do you believe this is not a {hypothetical question}?
      Essentially JP is asking "What would (you) do?"
      My guess is honest discussion & cheating rarely go hand in hand. What if it's a fantasy and she has no desire to cheat?

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      jpcmcposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Yves, communication in a marriage is indeed an important part of the relationship.  However, there are some couples that are not really open in their communication.  it is sad but, it happens to couples.  I suppose those who really want to try to men

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   fpherj48posted 7 years ago

   JP......It seems I cannot muster up enough emotion nor suspicion to allow such a scenario to cause alarm or panic.  What immediately came to my mind was a situation I experienced approximately 20 yrs ago. 
   I dated a man for about a year who himself had had a 10 yr. relationship with a woman named "Lori."  I can assure you, he called me "Lori," more often than he used my name.  Not necessarily in the bedroom, but the point I'm hoping to make is that this sort of "slip" happens a lot.  I've done it myself.  When it's occasional as well as a slip of the tongue due to habit & perhaps absentmindedness, it should hardly be reason for IMMEDIATE divorce!  I'm gonna have to insist divorce is a drastic "overreaction" to such an incident.
   Granted, because it happened WHEN & where it did, it would have caused some momentary hurt & even raise a red flag. (more like indignation) 
   To come to a conclusion, I would simply say that these isolated bloopers need to be put aside or discussed in depth to smooth the angst of the hurt partner. What's most important is to view and analyze the Big Picture in terms of a marriage.  I may be wrong, but when I look at something as serious and long term as marriages can be......I cannot justify something as drastic as divorce over being called the wrong name, whether in the kitchen, the car or the bedroom.   This may be a time for using calm, common sense and a bit of tolerance.

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      dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Excellent point!

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      jpcmcposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Paula, I admire your positive disposition.  And I agree with dashingscorprio that you have raised wonderful points.

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   Dean Keakposted 7 years ago

   It becomes the end of the world if that shall happen.

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      fpherj48posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Wow, Dwayne......I MEAN DEAN!!  Doesn't take much for you to go off the edge, I see!..??

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      jpcmcposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I rally do not know how to react to that dean.

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      Dean Keakposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Paula and JP Carlos,
      Though it seems that you're not happy with my comment I still go forward. It's not good for another man's wife to moan with another man. It's definitely wrong if you judge it yourself, but it seems that you're democracy-minded. D

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      jpcmcposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      That's the spirit Dean.  Bad things may happen but we move forward.

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   Chelcie-Mareeposted 7 years ago

   You leave. She evidently is not being completely faithful.
   
   
   Or you can have her from behind and Whisper another women's name in her ear. Thust- enitiating the Bronco. See how long you can hold on to her at that point.

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      fpherj48posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Chelcie....awww....don't be shy, just spit it out.  #1  There goes your career as the Pink Panther  #2...But you can always join the Rodeo!

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      jpcmcposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Fighting fire with fire can eventually leave everything scorched.  And I can't get the image of mind right now.

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      savvydatingposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Double Eeeek. Triple Eeew!  You make Dashing look like a Boyscout. Not a good thing. Please, everyone! Disregard this piece of trash comment. (Just saying)

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      fpherj48posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Really!  At first I thought I had read it wrong! Could someone actually print that porn?  This is a writing site for adults, yes....but not for pervs!!JP..I hear U. Not a lovely sight to perceive!  Yves..who are these people?

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      jpcmcposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Just to clarify, it's the "everything scorched" that is stuck in my head.  I just find fighting fire with fire a little unproductive as it leaves everyone in a dismal place.  It does not resolve anything.

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      fpherj48posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      and I find Chelcie's imagination a bit NASTY!!  In more ways than one!

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