What is it about love that scares us?
Marshall Hodge wrote a book called Your Fear of Love. In it he says, "We long for moments of expressions of love, closeness and tenderness, but frequently, at the critical point, we often draw back. We are afraid of closeness. We are afraid of love." Later in the same book Hodge states, "The closer you come to somebody, the greater potential there is for pain." It is the fear of pain that often drives us away from finding true intimacy.
Well, you just answered your own question.
It's not that we're afraid of love, we're just afraid of losing love. Because a person can survive without a partner, some of us choose to avoid getting too close to somebody so there's no risk of getting emotionally harmed.
Some people with past experiences find it difficult to trust or to even love ever again. This is because they've already been hurt and know what it's like, and aren't willing to risk it again.
The thing about love that scares us? I think it's the possibility that the one you love doesn't love you back. Or maybe they'll stop loving you. But then again, there's always the falling in love part that people are afraid of. The first step off the cliff is always the hardest.
I think what scares most people about love is the possibility of not being loved back. Fear of disappointment can lead to avoidance. It takes a lot of courage to open one's heart.
In fact it takes even more courage to fall in love a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time. As the old saying goes, "Risk little, Win little" :-)
I suspect that the less vunerable we feel, the easier our capacity to love. It's been said that before you can love anyone else, you must first of all love your self. Most people don't.
The anwer then: work on your self. As you come to accept yourself unconditionally, so will you bring this aspect of yourserlf to others. The fear will dissolve as you gain in self-knowledge and, therefore, self love.
Some people dont know how to love because they didnt get love from their parents ..in order to love you have to have known love.
Some people have been hurt in the past and therefore are afraid to commit to love
Some people love deeply but find it hard to express such emotions..
Some people find it easy to say those three words 'I LOVE YOU ' others want to say them but cant...
There are many that are afraid to love and to be loved because of deep emotions which they are unable to define.
Love is an emotion and there are a few of us who do not wear our emotions on the surface or our hearts upon our sleeve. To some we seem outwardly cold because we do not feel a need to constantly send out or receive reassurance that we love and are loved.
I find over emotional people scary and question why they need to display in public what looks and sounds so false, the desire to call everyone ‘Darling’ has an overtly theatrical falseness about it as if demanding constant attention such as Look at Me !
To me Love is a desire to hold safe and protect all that I hold dear, steer clear and you will never see it, be in danger and hope that someone like me is close at hand, for we do not throw our arms in the air screaming ‘Somebody Do Something !’ Come too close or threaten anything within our protection and you will see and feel the true power of our Love !
Fear of love is loosing love. The pain is so real and seems unbearable. I have learned to take the risk just to have the special moments too.
by Mark 8 years ago
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