When guy friends turn into something more...

1. 61

   CrazyMeposted 14 years ago

   What do we do when a guy friend turns into something more? When feelings of friendship blossom into something more romantic than sharing giggles and talk of school work?
   
   What are we meant to do, girls? Confusing, isn't it? When we go for it, we jeopardize our friendships. When we don't, we very well could have missed out on our soul mate, or the best realtionship possible. So girls, WHAT DO WE DO!?

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      Julie2posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Wow, thats a good one. Ummm, I had these feelings on more then one occassion with people in my past and didn't do anything about it. I would then see them with someone else that would whined up hurting them. After that I decided to just for it no matter what, arms out, eyes closed and heart wide open.
      
      I'd rather have done something about the feelings then not and wonder what if later on. I know it jeopardizes the friendship in some cases but sometimes they want more too, so its always good to talk about it with the person as a what if.
      
      Make up a conversation like, "Oh, what if we were to mess around?, what do you think would happen?, would we still be friends if it didn't work out?, could you see us being more or should we not even go there?".

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      logic,commonsenseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Run with it!

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      Fool in the Rainposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think you should hold out. Sure everyone says friendship turned romance is amazing, but if you guys are friends there is a reason why earlier in your relationship you were attracted. It could just be a fleeting spark. What happens when the lust dies down, yet you can no longer return to friendship? Make sure if you go for it a romance is all you want.

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      lady_love158posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Love is about taking risks, I go with my feelings. The reality is, if you were frineds before you should be able to sustain that friendship in the event of a breakup. Oh this assumes that he has those same feelings for you and isn't using friendship as a way to get into your pants!

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      kimberlyslyricsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      have a great time, be crystal clear what it is to you, and go to the Rodeo girls, bring it I say
      
      

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      Erin LeFeyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      "Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never."
        --  Charles Caleb Colton

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2. 60

   SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years ago

   ...where's lovie?...she'll know what to do...

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      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      

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         nagarasapandiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I would like to share some ideas about it

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3. 61

   ketchup101posted 14 years ago

   Well, you have to know him better first and know what his intention really is.

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      Kimberly Bunchposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, I agree. Take it very slow because it could backfire!

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4. 68

   b. Malinposted 14 years ago

   Are you getting the same vibes from him...or is it just you feeling this way?...if it's mutual, GO FOR IT!  It's better to be friends before you become LOVERS...you'll be comfortable with each other on that level...But you're never going to know unless you take a chance...But only if it's MUTUAL!
   Good Luck!

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5. 59

   Catering101posted 14 years ago

   It's never an easy situation to be in. More often than not, when the romantic relationship ends, the friendship will never be the same again. So I guess i'ts always best to remind yourself not to fall in love with your bestfriend. Just my two cents.

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   Disturbiaposted 14 years ago

   My best guy friend was gay, but we were soul mates in every way and if he has been straight, I would have gone for it in a heart beat... so I say GO FOR IT!

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      saleheensblogposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      and when you both are in love feel free to ask him to complete your assignments. you will get more time to write love letters to him then
      

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7. 60

   saleheensblogposted 14 years ago

   

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8. 71

   Ms.Wakeelahposted 14 years ago

   I'm experiencing that with one of my best friends, and I'm hoping that it'll develop into something. I feel deep, special connection to him that I've never felt before and I strongly believe that he's my husband.

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      Stump Parrishposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Remaining freinds is the hardest part of a relationship IMO. It seems that the two of you have figured this part out. Does it really make sense not to explore a relationship because you really like the guy? Let me get this straight, ok? You can't think of a worse situation to be in than starting a relationship with a guy that really likes you and respects you and you feel the same way about him?. What could you possibly be thinking considering putting yourself in that position?  Peace, best of luck, and have some fun. It's worth it in the long run.

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         Stump Parrishposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Ms. W, if the two of you are really best friends you should be able to have a conversation. Tell the guy how you feel and get his opinion on it. The sooner you do this the easier it will be to accept it if you remain just friends. It might also allow you to do so. The longer you wait the more you risk getting your hopes up if it doesn't work out. That translates into a bigger heart ache. BTW my track record in relationships is 0 for 1. Take everything I say with a grain of salt, ok?.

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   skater chic 828posted 14 years ago

   well for instance it all depends on whether or not u really like this guy. what i would do is that it becomes more exclusive u should talk to him about it and tell him u guys cant move any further into a relationship unless u come to an arrangement to stay friends no matter what. ive had a lot of friendships get ruined with guys because i hadnt come to arrangement with them before hand now im still good friends with most of my exes.

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10. 61

    Shelvajayposted 14 years ago

    I am old fashioned in this regard, inasmuch as I believe that how people start out is how they will be.  I as a woman have to maintain balance in my relationships of either gender.  Meaning that if I have an attraction for a man, I know it right away, because I try to feel people out when I meet them.  Especially men, because I need to know what it is that they want, friendship or otherwise.  This way, there are no mistakes or hurt feelings later.  This does not always work for me, but most times it does.  I have two best friends, one is a Guy whose friendship I have enjoyed for over 30 years.  Using this as an example, perhaps it was because of the timing that our friendship blossomed, but I could never see him as anything more than a Brother, and I believe that he feels the same way about me.  But that is how we started out, so that is how we will be, in my eyes.  If he ever came with a program which is anything different than that, I would totally offended, and turned off.  If he ever vocalized that feeling to me, I would probably not want to be his friend anymore, especially after 30 years has passed, and I have not had that feeling for him.  I would probably ask him not to call me anymore. 
    
    I do not rule out taking things to another level with a person of the opposite sex if it starts out as close friendship, but the question remains, what do you do if it does not work out?  How do you snap back to friendship mode, and it was supposed to be Friendship in the first place?  In my eyes, why even risk the awkwardness? 
    
    I have two close friends that are male that I have seriously dated in the past, and these two close friends will remain friends for life.  Because they are respectable men in my opinion that have always stood by me when I needed them, and I will do the same for them.  And they have always respected me and my wishes, and they did not play games with my feelings or my time.  That to me is important. 
    
    I have one former friend that will never be my friend again that I dated, because of the circustances under which we dated, and under the circumstances that we tried to remain friends after the fact, it will never work for me.  So I say all that to say, it depends on the two people involved, the feelings and intentions (spoken and unspoken) they have going in, and what happens during the course of whatever it is.  That is my take on it.  Good communication is the Key.

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    wordscribe43posted 14 years ago

    Marry them, that's what I did!

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       Manna in the wildposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       them ?

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    LondonGirlposted 14 years ago

    My closest ever male friend turned into my boyfriend - 13 years ago, now. When I was still a late teenager. And we're more in love now than ever.

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13. 71

    theseusposted 14 years ago

    A really tough one. Personally, being a traditional conservative Filipina,raised to the idea that a girl should be pursued and not be the one pursuing, I'd say I'll keep my feelings to myself.After all if he feels the same, he'll do the asking, right?But that does not always happen so that is where the problem begins..to tell or not to tell, that is the question. Either way, something good/bad will come out of it.So be prepared.

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14. 80

    thebluestarposted 14 years ago

    My first love started out by being a very good friend, almost a brother in fact. We were very close emotionally, probably the closest emotional relationship I have ever had. We decided several years later to become lovers. Fantastic, great, some of the highest emotionally charged love making I have ever experienced and then it all burnt out. You see my friend/lover decided we knew too much about each other for a long term relationship to work. We both married other people only to regret what we had done. Our love is still strong to this day 31 years later but we could of been together if both of us had thought deeper. I never crossed the fine line again.

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15. 66

    simeonvisserposted 14 years ago

    It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

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16. 59

    dolnackposted 14 years ago

    guy's perspective:
    
    She walks in
    He blushes
    She laughs
    He smiles
    She comes closer
    He looks at her
    She looks at him
    He smiles
    She smirks
    He sighs
    She stares
    He’s  guilty
    She interrogates
    He confesses
    She frowns
    He drowns
    Always friends
    Nothing more
    What could be
    We’ll never know
    Life goes on
    Friends are friends
    Always
    Until the end

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17. 60

    rikabellaposted 14 years ago

    If you are really good friends, I definetly don't think that hooking up and becoming a couple would ruin that. It might even make the friendship even deeper and stronger!

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    AskAshlie3433posted 14 years ago

    Well you always chance the friendship when this happens. If everything doesn't go well, you might lose a good friend. But I say go for it. Your partner is suppost to be your best friend anyway. There are a lot of people that find this path. You should always listen to your heart first. It is the best choice.

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    fayehelenposted 14 years ago

    I think you should always follow your heart. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 6years and he started as a best friend. We were close friends for about a year when one night I just leant in and kissed him (we were 15)... 3days later we were offically a couple, and have been ever since!

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    philirodjeposted 14 years ago

    Emm this is nice, i would say go with your guts if you are sure he wont break your heart

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21. 95

    prairieprincessposted 14 years ago

    I had this happen in university. I crushed on this guy for two the last year of school, and always wondered if there was more. (He was such a flirt!)
    
    After school was done, I shared my feelings with him, because I felt I needed to. He did not feel the same way, and it was tough. I would say to be careful, and try to read the signals before you spill your guts.
    
    On the other hand, I had another relationship where we were friends for a few months before it turning to more. So it can go either way. Try to read the signals before you spill your guts, and if he mentions other women, then assume he's not pining for you.
    
    This is a hard one! Take care!

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