Is it inevitable that the longer a couple is together, the less interest the fem

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   pb3131posted 14 years ago

   Is it inevitable that the longer a couple is together, the less interest the female has in sex?
   
   I have heard from a lot of guys that their long term partner has lost interest in sex - while they are still as interested as they were on day one. Has anyone seen any articles or studies that support this as a real phenomena or is it just a stereotype?
   
   

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2. 59

   Jaggedfrostposted 14 years ago

   In the beginning sex was fun...  for him and for her...  they seemed to be one...  it was new...  they were strong...  blind to the future.     Watch the clock spin...  take a look what is wrought...  The man is unchanged...  that isn't a good... read more

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3. 66

   prettydarkhorseposted 14 years ago

   the less interest about sex is maybe due to the following reasons : concentration about family matters - children, finances and household prob; failure to renew the excitement maybe due to lack of time; it is beneficial if sometimes they should have a date to renew the sparks. Sex should be part of intimacy and communication.
   
   I think that data are hard to acquire in this case. It is good if you can interview a family counselor/psychologist about this.

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4. 59

   telltaleposted 14 years ago

   I don't think it only happens only to the female side of the couple.  I think it can also happen to the male part.  This is specific to individuals and how the couple work on getting the interest going through the years.

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5. 59

   rich_haylesposted 14 years ago

   Absolutly not! My partner has a much higher sex drive than me and it shows no sign of letting up. I might be one of few but we have been together for a year and a half and I have a lot of trouble keeping up. Not a complaint, merely a fact

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6. 59

   Rob Hanlonposted 14 years ago

   Is it inevitable that the longer a couple is together, the less interest the female has in sex?
   
   I would say 'yes'.
   
   Why ?
   
   Because girls want to have fun, guys generally want straight sex going through the act as though they have a given right, and there is a distinct lack of passion/chemistry that brought the two together initially.
   
   It's often said 'variety is the spice of life' and guys need to tune in to what their partner wants/needs in keeping things 'fun' so that the female doesn't lose interest.

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7. 61

   sabrina.estrada15posted 14 years ago

   From my experience I believe that it can be either a woman or a man who has a change at heart for sex. In my relationship I am the horny one who wants to do it 3 times a day every day. On the other hand my boyfriend who is 12 yrs older than me and he is laid back. Just wants me to cook and clean then hold him till he falls asleep. So it really depends. I believe as men get older they are not as horny/sexual and when women get older they become well you know... very sexual.

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   Ashantinaposted 14 years ago

   I disagree.
   They say a woman hits her peak when she's 40.. right?
   I'm not 40 yet but I need more sex now than I did in my 20s. 3 or 4x a day, every day, great!
   Its very individual..

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9. 72

   dashingscorpioposted 14 years ago

   Is it inevitable? I don't think so.
   However there are a lot of factors that come into play such as menopause, home/family dynamics, and weight gain.
   When a woman doesn't feel sexy she doesn't want to have sex.
   
   However with all that being said once a marriage or relationship comes to an end the whole cycle repeats itself with a new person.
   
   Men are just as guilty of this as well.
   Everyone goes back to flirting, using sexual innuendo, hitting the gym a few times a week, being romantically spontaneous...etc
   I once wrote a hub titled. "Relationships: Do We Save Our Best For The Beginning"
   I suppose it's human nature to treat "new things" better than old things. To work harder to impress someone new...etc
   
   Familarity may not breed contempt but one thing is for certain when we first start dating someone new we rarely use the word NO. A couple of years later it rolls off the tongue with ease! LOL! We'd all do better to remember in any relationship we are either nurturing it or neglecting it. When someone feels neglected they start to consider exploring "other options". One has to be diligent about keeping passion alive.
   "Monogamy becomes boring when couples become lazy."
   
   "It's easier to maintain a fire than it is to reignite a spark!"

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    nightwork4posted 14 years ago

    please let this not be true.i think part of the problem is that it tends to become the same old thing. trying new things in new places should help. worrying about your wifes needs is also very important.

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    krillcoposted 14 years ago

    It's a myth that it's just women who experience a decrease in sexual desire; the frequency is really about equal. In all relationships, there is a relative difference between the high desire and low desire partner. This is not to say that there is anything 'wrong' with the low desire partner!
    
    What usually happens over time is that a couple gets bored with their sexual routine, along with thousands of small resentments that build up over the years. It's not easy to have  sex with someone you have resentments towards. The higher desire partner then begins to push harder for sex, or makes snide remarks, which makes the situation worse. In some cases, the higher desire partner just ignores, hoping that this will work (but it does not).
    
    Novelty is often suggested to 'spice things up', but the problem is, most of us are too fearful to bring novelty into the bedroom out of fear of rejection. So we keep doing the same things sexually we did when we first met. There are ways to overcome this, but that's a far longer answer than there is reasonable space here to provide.
    
    Visit my site: Gentling.org

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    Bel Marshallposted 14 years ago

    From experience:
    
    in a word "NO".
    
    I'll leave it at that.

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    LSpelposted 14 years ago

    I don't think this is a fact type of thing what so ever. I know many woman whose husbands are the ones who lack the sex drive (not over 40). I think it really does go both ways. I do believe it centers around stress. Sex isn't as carefree when you've got worries on your mind. I've been married for 3 years (not that long, but still long enough) & I don't notice a difference in my sex drive what so ever. However my husband, the main source of income, is often tired from work. It all depends on external issues I believe.

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