My boyfriend and I of one year broke up a few days ago. We are long distance, but we've met. We...
planned to get married and even have kids, and I would move in with him in 2 years when I finished school... He broke up with me because it hurt too badly to be so far apart.. I really need him and want him back, and I know if I could visit him I would.. He's 5,000 miles away, though, and I don't have money..
Sweetheart...as much as it may hurt, I'm just going to be blunt with you...if he really loved you, and cared for you as you do him, after a year of being together, he would have found some way to make it work...ok, now that's what most people would say...BUT, there is another way to look at this situation...it could be possible, that he does love you and care about you, as you do him, but that he thinks it's unfair to not only you, but to himself, to try to continue this long distance relationship.
5,000 miles is a very long way away. It's really hard to completely answer this when I don't know your history together..things that you may have shared, conversations, letters, gifts, etc. Didn't you two discuss how far away from eachother you would be? and for what length of time?
The only thing I know to tell you is this: continue a friendship, write to eachother, call if possible...and see where it leads. If it is meant to be, then it will happen...although, if you both really want it, you will have to both put some effort forth. I know finances are a problem, but just talk to him...tell him how you feel...and just tell him to be honest with you on why he's broken this relationship off...Is it because of the distance and not wanting either of you to hurt from the separation? or is it just possibly that he doesn't feel as strongly as you do? But you have to let him know that without a doubt, you will not hold any hard feelings toward him for telling you the complete truth.
I wish I could tell you more hun, and I wish you the best of luck!!
Well we talked to each other everyday on Skype constantly, whatever we did we did together, he would wait for me to come home from school, then we would talk until I went to bed. We were even very intimate. We discussed the distance many, many times and he was going to come visit for a long time in the summer. Nothing was going wrong in the relationship, we were both very happy, and we loved each other. He said he still cares for me and loves me... We were so close, I talked to his family a lot, he told his mom he wanted to marry me, I talked to his friends and stayed in touch too. We were each other's best friends, we were closer than ever. Closer than even most couples who can be with each other in person. I'm talking the epitome of closeness without physical touch.. yet.
He realized in our recent business over winter break that it would be like this when he starts work or school, and even worse. And it hurt to be away from me and not being able to talk as much. He said that the distance had been eating him away. He said he's not as strong as he thought he was, and he is shielding himself from the hurt that would later present itself...
Maybe it's impossible to be back together with him, but I really, really love him, so much. There's also a chance it can happen again. If I save up the money, I could visit him in the summer if he wanted. I don't know, I just need him.
If what he told you was true - that "It hurt too badly to be so far apart" then he will be hurting and will find a way to be with you. I would suggest not contacting him and let him FEEL what it's like without you in his life.
Long distance relationship works depending on the setup agreed by both parties. It is possible that a relationship with distance apart will work as long as you keep the love alive, communication and trust. It really is so hard but you have to take the risk if you want it work.
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