jump to last post 1-4 of 4 discussions (4 posts)

My heart needs her anyways but my mind dsnt bcoz she is smbdy's.i m nt cheerful

  1. profile image46
    munna3posted 7 years ago

    My heart needs her anyways but my mind dsnt bcoz she is smbdy's.i m nt cheerful whn I dnt talk 2 her

    i tried my best to forget the girl I love because she loved somebody else,but she is a childhood friend of mine.also I have become totally non enthusiastic on the days when I tried not to speak to her....so to keep myself internally cheerfull I have to speak to her almost daily..though she talks well,i know she doesnot love me...i cant continue this either because I have to move and same with her too....i am not able to accept anyone new in my life too because of this strange phenomenon...someone help please..

  2. SymbolicShack profile image58
    SymbolicShackposted 7 years ago

    what seems to be  hurting now, time will heal...and all that talking will fade too ...get out and do other things- if you love someone/your setting them free and yourself ( which is most important) if its meant to be, they will come back.. old saying so true. Walk with head high and move on, its like a diet, one day at a time, and boom your at your destination =-)

  3. profile image0
    mikeq107posted 7 years ago

    Well mate I went through this many years ago as I’m am sure 1000`s of others have. It is very common.

    I cried for weeks I had never had a broken heart before; it was incredibly painful, I saw her in every woman who smiled at I Passed or me. She was from Hungary and so when I would hear an eastern European accent it would drive me crazy.

    I tried to forget her, Impossible. It reminded me of my dad I always wanted his love but could never have it the way I wanted it.

    Truth be told I was an unhealed person in the area of healthy relationships and so I was truly not capable of having one, a balanced one that is.

    No matter what you do or how hard you try, you cannot make someone love you.
    Either they do or they do not.

    God used this unhealthy relationship to draw me closer to him; after all, he was the only person who could give me peace and comfort during this time.

    It took about three to 5 months cannot remember exactly, but when I was finally able to accept her as a friend in my heart I was Avery healthy man in that area.

    I truly believe God engineered that situation to draw my attention to him so that he could heal me in that much needed area of my Heart.

    I was 21 at the time, long time ago had forgotten all about it until I read your question.
    My heart truly goes out to you, but take it from me you will get over it if you allow God in to your heart to take her place and because he loves you so much he will heal you with his wonderful loving touch and send you his best pick of the fish in the sea if you will Dare to trust Him!!
    I honestly believe Jesus is the only way, after all God sent Him to die for us to Heal a broken relationship :0)
    You are in my prayers friend.
    Mike :0)

  4. ThunderKeys profile image67
    ThunderKeysposted 7 years ago

    I agree with the points listed here by fellow Hubbers. I'd add that you may need to more systematically grieve the loss of your deeper emotional connection, to this childhood friend.
    It may be helpful balance expressing your feelings, by talking to others and writing how you feel in letter form, poetry etc., with monitoring what you say to yourself about what you’re experiencing emotionally. You want to make sure not to use words in your thinking or speaking about her,  that will limit the grieving process.

    For example, all or nothing thoughts like: “ I’ll never get over her” or  “ I’m paralyzed and can’t get through my day without talking to her”, limit your grieving and adapting. It’s better to use words or thoughts like:  “ I know it’s really painful but I will slowly get over her, I just need to grieve my deep love for her and slowly I will feel better and stronger.” This is called positive vs negative self- talk.  Your brain and your heart can’t tell the difference between what’s happening in the outside world and what you tell them is happening. If you keep sending yourself the internal message that you’re trapped, then it will take a lot longer to get over the relationship.  You have to act in-spite of how you feel for this to really help.
    Also, learn and do good emotional self-care. Hang out and do things with friends and family, exercise, go for a nice hike together. Stay away from alcohol or drugs and eat really healthy. Get lots of sleep and rest. Do these things especially when it’s hard at first and eventually you’ll be over her. Give yourself at least a month before you evaluate the effectiveness of this grieving strategy.

    It’s not going to be easy, but act-in-spite of how you’re feeling for a month. Push yourself. Don’t call her and when you want to, do the self- care and thought replacement instead of calling her. Tell yourself that if your self care and grieving strategy fails, you will call her in a month. That will give your mind, body, heart and spirit the time to adjust.  After a month, not calling her, it will be much easier not to call her in the first place! You may find that she actually calls you and that you’re deeply attracting other woman, based on the emotional maturity your developing here. I'm a couselor, let me know if you need further assistance.

 
working