MEN: Does the man whose never gotten over me after 30 years want to marry me or

1. 77

   Katharellaposted 14 years ago

   MEN: Does the man whose never gotten over me after 30 years want to marry me or not? Read below!
   
   If a man says he wants to be in your life forever, that you are his everything, but later says "we can't do this or that because we are not married" is he just afraid to ask out of rejection - fear, or is he trying to evade the topic, or get me to say it? He says I don't think of us as an "US" and I need to be in that mind frame, so is he just afraid to flat out ask or saying he doesn't want to be married due to circumstances? I'm confused! I don't want to be the one to ask, I feel it's the man's place to ask that question! Men, HELP me inside the male brain?

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2. 61

   nightwork4posted 14 years ago

   like the female brain, there is no straight answer to how us guys think. each person is different. it seems that maybe he is unsure what he wants so you may in the end have to do the asking yourself. don't ask him to marry you but you could hint at the idea that you want to get married and that you don't want to wait for much longer to be asked, but ask in a subtle way.

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3. 60

   dkroskensposted 14 years ago

   Hi Katharella
   It sounds to me like there may be a lot of confusion on your part ( and rightly so) and possibly some internal confusion on his part.  I'm being generous here, so go with me on this one, ok ?  communication is a really big piece of any relationship in my opinion.  Unfortunately, most couples do not have the same ability to communicate clearly.  There are a number of reasons for the problem, too many to go into here.  What I suggest is that you come to a clear understanding of what you want out of this relationship and state it as clearly as you can , with respect and dignity, for yourself and for him.  Ask him as plainly as you can if he is able to meet your needs, and if he wants to. Prepare yourself for either answer.  Remember  "in limbo" produces  frustration, anxiety, and in general a lower quality of life.  One in which you may consider the cost to you( in mental anguish alone) then decide if  that kind of life is worth it. On the other hand, if you come right out and ask him if wants to marry you, cut to the chase and get your answer. Then you can decide to move on or stay in the same position you're in.  You have a lot of power, stay calm, and remember you are the best caretaker of you !

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4. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 14 years ago

   Men are decisive when they want something!
   If he wanted to marry you he would ask you.
   Women waste too much time trying to "figure out" what men are saying. It's not that deep!
   Life is short move on to someone who can put together a coherent thought and express himself in no uncertain terms.
   
   Having said that if your heart is set on marrying this guy then (propose to him) and see how he responds. If it's not an instant "yes then you know he's just been stringing you along.
   You have every right to be proactive by asking for what you want. It's better to know where you stand asap so you can decide where you want to put your focus. Best of luck!

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5. 76

   LuisEGonzalezposted 14 years ago

   He might be afraid of commitment or of failure if he marries you. However do let him know that marriage is what you desire and perhaps set a flexible time frame. Don't corner him, just subtle hints may do the trick, if not then you have to take a stand and decide.

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6. 60

   furnituremanposted 14 years ago

   You know, we are living under different cultures. We, Filipinos, value so much sexuality. Most of our women, especially those in the countryside, never agree to premarital sex. Your bf's attitude is fine. I admire him. That happened to me with my first gf. He asked me to do something to her, but I refused. We parted ways. Two years after, we accidentally met again but I had already a newborn baby and she was still single. I could sense feelings of regret on her face. I rejected her request because I was still studying in college. I was a self-supporting student and if I cannot finish my studies anymore because she is  already pregnant, life would be very difficult for both of us. But she did not understand me. Same case maybe with your bf. Respect his decision. He is a good man, I suppose. Good luck and may God bless you always. Pray!!!

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7. 60

   akuiglaposted 14 years ago

   Well,because he is not sure or he is shy,this is what you can do:
   say to him, that if you ask him,hypothethically,to marry you,what he would say.
   The key is to mention word"hypothetically".
   You will put him at ease, because whatever answer he gave you,it will have no obligatory sense.
   But you will know for sure what he wants.
   Besides that, try to figure out do you want him as husband or no?

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8. 60

   LeeWallsposted 14 years ago

   I don't want to be the one to tell you because I really don't know you and I don't know him, however it sounds to me he's not interested not just in US but in marriage.
   
   After 30 years and he's still wondering, give me a break. Please don't make excuses for him because that's where women always fail. They make excuses when deep inside they know it's not right.

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