Do you feel sorry for a person who stays with a cheater?

1. 61

   nightwork4posted 13 years ago

   Do you feel sorry for a person who stays with a cheater?
   
   if a person has a cheating partner, do you feel sorry for them when they stay with this person even if the person cheated several times and was caught several times?

   replyreport
2. 63

   amymarie_5posted 13 years ago

   I think it depends on the situation. Some ppl stay together for the kids.

   replyreport
3. 61

   Midlife Magicposted 13 years ago

   Everybody does what they need to do.  People who stay with a cheater have their own reasons that we may never see.  We can never be where they come from.  I feel sorry for them, yes, but I can never know why they feel that is their best life.

   replyreport
4. 63

   bizymomof3posted 13 years ago

   this is very personal for me since I have a very close friend who stayed with her husband after many indiscretions.  What concerns me the most is why they feel that they need to stay with this person.  Infidelity is usually not about the sex and the cheater usually does indeed love his spouse.  The person he does not love is himself.  He is forever looking for a way to make himself feel better.  I can understand if she stayed after one time(if they had a family), and he agreed to undergo intense counseling with her.  But several times, I do not understand.  While I don't feel sorry for the one who stays, I feel that this person needs to figure out why they are settling for someone who has so many problems and is so needy.  She needs to look at herself and put herself at the forefront, not behind his needs.

   replyreport
5. 70

   TimMEyposted 13 years ago

   Nope, although I never cheated when I had a Girlfriend, it happened to me that one of my girlfriends cheated on me and I knew it was over.
   
   Moving on is always hard and difficult but I think that staying with a cheater is weak because the world is too beautiful and full of opportunities to stay with somebody who does not deserve you.

   replyreport
6. 39

   Sharon Douglasposted 13 years ago

   In a way I do feel sorry for a person like that who can't wake up and smell the coffee.
   
   But then again on the other hand if a person stays with a someone like that, they are deeply in love and hope is being exercised. While the cheater don't feel the same type of love that the faithful one is up keeping.
   
   That person who remains in a relationship like that is holding on to false hope and promises from the other person and thinking that the situation will change.
   
   If the cheater cheats once its easier to do it over and over again, so I suggest that person walk away and look at a lesson well learn and don't think in any way they are at fault of their lover cheating on them, cause if he or she loves the person they will never cheat.

   replyreport
7. 60

   yiasaposted 13 years ago

   Da belief that I have in my mind is, Every1 in this world is a cheater. In one way or another.

   replyreport
8. 51

   valery eliasposted 13 years ago

   No I don't feel sorry for them. People have many reasons for staying in a situation like that, some could be financial, emotional, the level of remorse of the cheater, and other life circumstances. It is hard to judge another's situation, unless you have walked in their shoes.

   replyreport
9. 71

   tritrainposted 13 years ago

   I would not feel anything, one way or another. 
   
   They may have their reasons.  Maybe they are doing it for the kids, or financial support, medical reasons, an agreement between them, spousal abuse,... who knows?
   
   If they do not accept the situation themselves, then they should get out of it.

   replyreport
10. 42

    mdlawyerposted 13 years ago

    I would appreciate their tolerence and forgiveness.

    replyreport
11. 60

    ChristineVianelloposted 13 years ago

    I feel bad for their situation, but I would not feel bad for the person who stays with the cheater. There are different circumstances why they might stay with a cheater; whether it be finacial reasons or children. In the end, it is their decision, I can not judge.

    replyreport
12. 59

    akuiglaposted 13 years ago

    No.
    People stay together for many reasons.
    Feeling sorry for somebody will mean that I have complexes and need to belittle other people.
    I do not seek failures in others.I try to find good traits.
    Besides that,is no useful for anyone.
    Its not good for me.
    Nor is good for other person.

    replyreport
13. 0

    reeltaulkposted 13 years ago

    No because they know who they are dealing with and ...........quite obviously don't mind dealing with them

    replyreport
14. 61

    Inspiremeonposted 13 years ago

    No...because they are needy and asking for what they have...or they would do what they should do...leave or boot them out!
    no one deserves such disrespect, and we must respect ourselves or no one else will....

    replyreport
15. 58

    saanj Hposted 13 years ago

    HI
    
    To tell you the truth I feel sorry for both the parties. First I feel sorry for the party who is cheated by the partner coz its not their mistake. Secondly, I feel sorry for the cheating party too coz I think the cheating party is not mentally stable and needs help.And this mental instability compels them to cheat.

    replyreport
16. 64

    ThunderKeysposted 13 years ago

    Cheating causes very harmful emotional distress to the partner/victim in a close relationship or marriage, at the level of attachment. I've worked with many couple's in crisis who used the cheating event as a corrective signal to develop their relationship maintenance skills, and expand their emotional connection beyond all previous limits. This process emotionally and sexually "affair-proofs" the relationship.
    
    - Duddy.

    replyreport
17. 39

    maria.roseposted 13 years ago

    I think it depends on the situation & relation  and forgiveness is best thing in the world..........

    replyreport
18. 73

    stricktlydatingposted 13 years ago

    Yes I do feel sorry for them.  And very embarrassed for them.

    replyreport
19. 60

    Max_Powerposted 13 years ago

    I have never, and would never cheat on a partner, however my last girlfriend cheated on me.
    My knee-jerk reaction was to end it, and I did.
    Three months later she came back begging for my forgiveness, and I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I thought it was a great opportunity for me to practise forgiveness, and to learn to deal with some difficult emotions that I would not ordinarily have to deal with.
    For me it was an opportunity for growth and to become a stronger/better person.
    She also had a child, who I had a strong bond with (not my child), and I wanted to do the right thing by her too. I really did care for both her and her daughter, and wanted the relationship to work out.
    Things went well for a month or so, then the same kind of behaviours started creeping in on her part. The guy she had been seeing started calling her in the middle of the night, and who knows what was happening when I wasn't there? I asked her to cease contact with him and she wouldn't, so that was the deal-breaker for me.
    I walked away, and have not contacted her again. Being with her had made me stronger. She has tried to contact me a few times, but I do not take her calls.
    I think that it is ok to give someone the benefit of the doubt once, but if they are not serious about it then people need to walk away, no matter what is at stake. I like what Dr Phil says (regarding kids and divorce)- 'It is better to come from a broken home, than to live in one'.
    I agree (and I am from a broken home).
    So my answer is 'No', I don't feel sorry for them, as things aren't always black-and-white. However my advice would be if the cheater is just playing games, then it is best to move on and start afresh on your own.

    replyreport
20. 71

    dashingscorpioposted 13 years ago

    No. Everyone chooses their own lovers and spouse.
    
    I doubt anyone feels sorry for Hilary Clinton. She is an example of a "strong independent woman" (in the modern era) who has stayed in a marriage despite her husband's activites.
    Life is a personal journey and each of us is entitled to make choices we believe to be right for ourselves. The natural inclination is to say "Anyone who stays with a cheater has low self esteem or is in some way weak." However each of us creates our own "deal breakers".

    replyreport